I Forget Better Stuff

…than most people are even capable of thinking of!

It’s a fact. I had a brilliant post in mind for today, but I didn’t write anything down about it, or type out a draft version in Wordpress. So as a result, I’ve been driving myself crazy all-day long, trying to remember the finer joke points of what I planned on writing. The worst part about it is that I have reserve blog entries already written, but I refused to post any today since I have been dead-set on remembering what I thought about last night. Read the rest of this entry »

Hot Earthworm Lovin’

It is times like these, that make me wish that I had real cable, instead of “these channels were already here when I moved in, yet I get no bill” cable.  I was aksed to write about a special short film series airing on Sundance Channel titled, Green Porno. Before you all get any sordid visuals of martians wearing nipple clamps and thongs, let me explain what the show is about.
Read the rest of this entry »

Erykah Badu Groupie Talk

Transcripts from a chat held earlier this morning:

Marlene: Badu’s in DC? Damn :(

Leon: Yep. Her and The Roots

Marlene: Oh wow.

Leon: I’m going to be a male groupie and have sex with her, just to see if she’s as freaky as I think she is…

Marlene: um you’re gonna end up wearing crochet pants. She has Galactic Cat.

Leon: So if you see me tomorrow dressed like Issac Hayes and smelling like incense, you know why.

Marlene: Nah, you’ll probably just be whimpering in fetal position. You won’t even come outside.

Leon: Yeah, I will…I’ll be wearing a dashiki, space boots and a football helmet covered in glitter.

On of the perks of being my friend: Conversations like these!

Mutombo Elbow of Death

I did a bad thing on the train this morning.

While on the Gallery Place/Chinatown station platform, I stood in a crowd, glancing down at the Washington Post Express newspaper. I saw that they quoted Arjewtino, which made me smile. Yesterday, they quoted AllieNicole, so obviously, it is a sign that I am among the cool crowd as far as blogging is concerned. It’s only a matter of time until they quote me again!

Unfortunately, my moment of nerd zen was rudely interrupted when a fat lady in a tan power-suit bumped into me, trying to push her way into better position to enter the train. I knew it was intentional, but I had to take a step back and think to myself: “Should I say something mean, or should I let it slide. I want to push her back, but she’s a woman…” Read the rest of this entry »

The Three Greatest Pleasures In Life

 Life’s three greatest pleasures, as told by Leon:

1.) True love.
2.) Really intense, hot sex.
3.) Barbecue ribs.

There you have it. Emotional fulfillment, carnal fulfillment, and swine. It get’s no better! I DARE you to try and argue with me on this one!!!

It Is Not That Serious

Ever encounter someone who takes his or her meaningless job way too seriously? You know, the one who takes things a few steps too far over something that’s really not a big deal…Well, I encountered someone like that yesterday at a fundraiser.

I went to this fundraiser that this organization called The Network was holding in Fredericksburg, VA for a museum in the works. Overall, it was a really nice event, and I had a good time. Lots of family and friends were there, and my mentor is the one who organized the entire event. Basically, the only unfortunate moment in the evening came from an encounter with the lady with the short blonde Sisqo from Dru Hill haircut who was working at the front desk. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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“Scattered Showers” My Ass…

I have to add Tony Perkins, Bob Ryan, Al Roker, Yahoo weather, and all other meteorologists to my sh*t list right now. This morning, the news said “Expect scattered showers late night-early morning. It’s a MONSOON going on right now!

Luckily, I had my umbrella on me…Otherwise, I would be typing this from the emergency room, as some nurse attempts to rescue my left ball from frostbite and water damage. It’s that serious right now. I just saw a crackhead surfing down Gerogia Avenue on a piece of plywood, claiming he’s training for the Olympic games. Next, I saw a bunch of DC rats on a paddle-boat with a pirate flag. To top it all off, I even saw Elian Gonzalez on a raft, talking ’bout “F*ck Cuba. The US is where it’s at.”

This just tells you that weathermen really don’t have the all-seeing eye. Even meteorologists with their sattelites and helicopters can’t predict everything. Sometimes, you just have to trust your instincts, like I did tonight.

That said, the ran is making me extremely sleepy. Stay dry, and I’ll be back on here later with some more of my usual trash-talk.