This morning, a fat person in a black top competely ruined my white short-sleeve shirt.
I really try to be sensitive when I refer to the overweight and their issues, but this time, a fat motherfucker crossed the line.* I was already kind of in a sour mood this morning upon finding out that Metrobus and Metrorail fare raises went into effect yesterday and my trip to work is going to cost me more now. Then I end up on a really crowded train chock full of big folks. Once I was able to procure a seat, this big lady in a black outfit sat down next to me. I wasn’t all that uncomfortable, but she was pretty much pressed against my left side due to her girth and circumference. Once I got off the train, I did a little stretch to get the blood flowing to that side of my body again, then went about my business.
It wasn’t until I got to the office that I noticed the woman’s black outfit left stains on my white shirt. THE white shirt that I have gotten NUMEROUS compliments on since I bought it. The one that gives me that suave “black Sinatra meets doo-wop barbershop quartet singer” kinda sex appeal.
First of all, what kind of cheap-ass suit rubs off on people? Suits like that are the ones that come with caution warnings telling the wearer to aviod open flames and high temperatures.
Speaking of high temperatures, it may have been that the woman was sweatting so hard that she made the dye come out of the suit fabric…You know big people tend to sweat like crazy from the slightest bit of movement or fat-on-fat friction. This leads me to wonder how two big people do it to each other…They probably have to devise a game plan and strategy going into the act. I’d be scared that I’d end up doing something embarassing…Like sliding in and talking shit like “You like that, huh!”…Only to find out I was humping the shit outta her navel or some random crevice or fat roll and hadn’t even found the real vagina yet…LOL.
There…That’s my angry rant since I didn’t get to say anything to the big lady in the cheap black suit who ruined one of my favorite shirts. Thanks for reading. Hopefully this negative energy will make you all laugh as opposed to bringing you all down to my level, too.
*Note: Leon does not hate the fat, obese, big-boned, or sloppy people of the world. Leon feels that people with weight problems deserve to be treated as human beings. That said, Leon also feels that big people need to be mindful of their status, and take measures to respect the rest of society, who should not be inconvenienced, pushed aside, and made to suffer from the unjust tyrrany of the stout and the portly.
Tweet
See why I hate fat people? Yea, I said it and I have a funny story about a fat person that occured Sunday. Maybe I’ll post it later but I probably won’t get to it until tomorrow.
Fat people are lazy, smelling, always ruining shit MF’s. It may seem harsh but there’s only a couple of fat people I like and honestly, they aren’t big fat asses, just a little on the chunky side.