I know you’re all wondering about that title, but read the post and give it a chance before calling me a woman-hating chaeuvanist pig.
I have to come to terms with whether or not I really want a girlfriend again or whether I’d rather just keep that “I don’t give a shit about ‘em” mentality that I keep finding myself sinking into since me and my ex broke up for good.
Sometimes I miss having someone there to hold at night whom I can be totally open with, show affection to and share all of my feelings with. Then others, I remember all the arguements, the half-truths, the stress and the pressures that came along with everything else. That brings me back to reality. I wrote a poem about it…Like ‘ta hear it go:
I’ve searched low and I’ve searched high,
trying to find myself a cutie pie.
My destination leads me to a dead end,
over and over and over again.
They say when you look one never finds.
They also say that love is blind.
It ain’t that blind that I can’t see,
somebody out there who’s perfect for me.
It seems as if every time I find the right girl,
she turns out to be the very wrong girl.
Tell me y’all when will this madness stop?
I want somebody to love me for me
not because I’m emcee Heavy D.
Sombody out there who’s perfect for me.
Ok. So I didn’t write that. So what. You know it would have came off a lot smoother had I said it instead of Heavy D…Big 350 pound ass dancing across the stage in Used Jeans, Cazal glasses and a hi-top fade with parts cut into it and shit. I won’t hate, though, considering I did buy the album and played it to death back when I was a kid.
Now, the explanation of the title: Since I am currently free from the tyrrany and oppresion of pussy at the moment, I am giving my motivational asshole quotes so that some reader out there may use these gems of wisdom to get a good laugh and vent some frustration. Here goes:
5. “Nice guys finish last. Be a dick and finish first” – My friend P, the scholar and gentleman.
4. “But I’m saying…I treat ALL my bitches with respect and dignity” – Me talking shit after jokingly trying to initiate a threesome with these Baltimore women a couple of years ago
3. “Never gamble against someone named after a city” – Heard this one in a movie, and I live my life by it. Think about it…someone named “Orlando” or “Chi-town” is probably some kind of hustler waiting to bust your ass and take your money.
2. “I hate you,I hate you, I don’t even know you and I hate you…I wish all the bad things in life happen to you, and to you only” – Dave Chappelle during his “Player Hater’s Ball” sketch.
1. “The bitch set me up!” – Marion Barry. Remember, he’s running for office again pretty soon(City Council) :)
I hope these amused you viewers out there. If I offended anybody, just blame it on the fact that I haven’t gotten any tang in awhile and my dick is dryer than a crackhead’s lips in the wintertime right about now. I’m going for my Smooth Magazine so I can be a kinder, gentler Hustleman next time I type…
Vida Guerra(and Jergens lotion), you’re my only friend :(
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Hey!! Jergens is my trademark!!! Use Lubriderm or something….LOL
I love the Playa Haters….Buck Nasty was a fool!
Ha! *lol @ jergens lotion*
Yea, you obviously played the hell outta that album to remember the words.
TMI (too much information) and that’s all I have to say about that *in my forest gump accent*.
My bad @ Cal…I think I owe you a royalty check for that one. Lubriderm costs too much, though. I think I’ll use cheap-ass Suave lotion the next time I refer to masturbation in here LOL.
LMAO ~ Well it’s not fault you had to have it out with the lotion this week ~ Next time you wont pass out on me in a drunk slumber while visiting ~CTFU~
Besos, Satinn
A.K.A to you Leon “Bisexual Chick”…..Punk Azz Self
LMAO @ Satinn’s comment..You mark-ass buster…LOL
Next time I’ll know when to say when LOL
I’M DONE WITH YOU, LEON!
but you have inspired me to start my own!!
http://mampimoments.blogspot.com