Growing up, I had a friend in the neighborhood named Pedro. His nickname was PayPay so everybody in the neighborhood knew him by that name. Well, PayPay had this dog named Ruler…a big German Shepherd with a mean temper. As a matter of fact, the dog got the name Ruler because he ruled the neighborhood with an iron fist.
Well, in Ruler’s case, I guess it was an iron paw, but back to the story…
PayPay and his dad Melvin never kept that psycho dog on a leash, and rarely chained him up. The thing about Ruler is, he would attack only when HE felt like fucking with someone, so you never knew what to expect. Pedro tried to sick him on me one day after I beat his ass over one of our many arguements, and Ruler just walked over to me and nuzzled up against me, letting me pet him and shit. PayPay was like “GET HIM YOU STUPID DOG!” Two weeks later, that dog chased me and my cousins for two blocks in a ferocious rage for no reason. I barely escaped. One of my cousins ran head first into a tree branch trying to get away and damn near knocked himself out. He’s lucky Ruler was mainly trailing me, because that would’ve been his ass.
Rodney, our neighborhood’s version of the Village Idiot, wasn’t so lucky. Ruler bit the shit out of his ass when he was little. He still has a scar on his head to this day from where Ruler got him.
Although Ruler never bit me, he did get to someone close to me. My pet rabbit Ebony. My sister and I ended up getting a rabbit from the town fair, and my grandfather built this nice outdoor cage for him. So one night while everyone was asleep, Ruler breaks open the cage and killed Ebony. Didn’t even leave the body. Just blood and dog hair on the side of the wooden part attached to the cage. The hair proved to us all that it was Ruler’s evil ass that killed my pet rabbit. Ultimately, vengeance would be mine, though.
Fast forward to about two years later. I’m on my bike, pedalling down the street, when all of the sudden, Ruler comes charging at me full speed like a bat out of hell. I’m not going to lie, I was scared shitless. I just started pedalling for dear life, disregarding stop signs and everything else but Satan’s Hound of the Damned that was literally right on my heels. I got about two blocks with that dog still in hot pursuit before I realied that I had no choice but to take desperate measures. I took my left leg off the pedal ind kicked the living shit outta Ruler, right in the face. All I heard was a loud “AAAAAARRRRRRFFFFFF!” but I refused to slow down. I did it so quick, that I didn’t even break my stride on the bike. When I did look back, Ruler was way off in the distance walking around. I slowed down a bit, but kept on pedalling just to make sure I was in the clear.
Thankfully that summer, Animal Control put Ruler’s ass to sleep. I know they say all dogs go to heaven, but I KNOW that bitch is burning in Hell somewhere. Probaby chillin in the Devil’s backyard eating the grass and shitting all over the place like he used to in PayPay’s yard.
Oh, the memories… Glad you weren’t bitten! It’s SuperLeon!
Do you still talk to PayPay?
Man, you are the only person I know with so many funny stories. And all from real life experiences.
Its Leigh….Remember when Pay Pay got his hair cut in that mohawk? The whole school bus was laughing.
Aw. I feel bad for the doggy. It was PayPay’s fault he was like that. You shoulda kicked PayPay’s ass!
@ Jillian…believe me, running from a bloodthirsty German Shepherd was NOT funny at the time…LOL. I just have a way of talking about life that makes things sound amusing, even when they’re not really funny. I could probably post an entry about washing my socks in the laundry and make someone laugh with that shit LOL.
@ Erica, don’t worry…PayPay suffered a few ass whippings at my hands. Then again, he got me a couple of times, too. I beat him more times than he beat me, though. He don’t want no parts of me now, either LOL. He was one of my boys from way back, but that dude had a receding hairline since about 2nd grade. We used to call him George Jefferson Head. Plus, he grew up in a messed up situation, so he did grimy shit since he didn’t know any better. Sometimes you had to let him know that doing certain things will lead to you getting your ass whipped…LOL.
First things first, no black neighborhood is complete without a dude named PayPay for real!!! PayPay is that name I’m always trying to think of!
Also German Shepards are the king of “chasing dogs”. There was one in my neighborhood named “Shep” and he used to chase cars, kids on bikes, kids who were whistling the theme song to the Smurfs on the way to the Candy Lady’s house, etc.. It was a happy day for everyone except his owner when Shep got put to sleep!