Wild Turkey is not to be fucked with.
Probably the most ridiculous drunken moment of my life came at the hands of this beverage. One night a few years back when I lived with my brother, his college friend Steve came into town with his wife and young infant child. They all stayed at the house, and we spent the weekend playing cards and hanging out. Well, that Saturday night, we ended up watching some fight on HBO and taking shots of Wild Turkey in the basement of the house. Steve’s wife and my brother’s girlfriend just watched us drink and talked shit from the sidelines. Had I known better, I would have resisted peer pressure and jumped on the sidelines with the women and just taken the jokes that would have ensued.
Oh, did I mention that the only thing I had for dinner that night were french fries from McDonalds and a bag of Chee-tos? Needless to say, after about shot number 5 or so, I was DONE.
I think the thing that made me realize I did some SERIOUS drinking was when I saw my brother throw up. This man has a cast iron stomach. I’ve seen this guy drink every type of beverage imaginable short of gasoline, and never once did he get sick. So to see his head in a bucket was a shock to the system.
Then, the ineveitable…
I felt sick, so I made it upstairs and threw up in the kitchen sink. Luckily, I had enough bearing to clean it all out instead of just leaving it there. Once I finished cleaning, I felt proud of myself for not being a nasty trifling bastard. I decided to reward myself by taking a precautionary shit just in case I get the bubble guts later in the evening. The last thing I remember was sitting on the toilet and getting a newspaper to read.
All I know is, I woke up on the floor of my room near my bed laying on a pillow with a trash can next to me and my draws on backwards.
About two weeks later, we had some folks over again, and the topic of that fateful Saturday came up. My brother’s girlfriend told everybody in the room that she went in to check on me in the bathroom, and I was in there butt-naked brushing my hair for some reason. Then she said I turned to her and started having a conversation with her not realizing that I was naked. She said she made me put on some draws, but she doesn’t even know how I made it up the stairs. She just put a trash can next to me that morning in case I got sick again.
So once again my friends, I warn you: TAKE CAUTION WHEN CONSUMING WILD TURKEY. That stuff is no joke.
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Hahahahaahahahaa! My dad is staring at me right now, and I can’t explain to him why I’m laughing so hard. I hope you’re happy. :-D
LMAO… damn, Leon! Why’d you have to throw the part about the naked conversation in there???? And why in the hell were you brushing your hair? You’re a hot ass mess for that one, LOL.
ew leon. that’s so gross. ugh!!! im never kissing you again *barf*
Boy, I hope you learned your lesson. *LOL*
wild turkey made JAMES throw up???…..it must be no joke
-Leigh
Wild Turkey + 3 17-yr olds = Nuthin’ nice.
That shit is for the birds… pun intended. LOL
Ahh Wild Turkey! I took some shots of that once in a club… for a minute I was feeling like I could fight everyone in that mf and walk out like nothing happened. I blacked out though when a friend of mine walked me to the bathroom, uh never went back to that club again. Damn Wild Turkey to hell.
ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppahahahahahaha *deep breath*
ew… McDonald’s.
That was some crazy stuff, LOL.
Your writing is hilarious!
. . . Isn’t wild Turkey akin to Ripple? Fred Sandford’s drink, from Sanford & Son?
i have a good quick wild turkey story..hehe..new years i think i was 16 and my home girl got a whole 5th of that shit and thought she would be a champ and take it to the face…next thing you know she’s trying to talk through a mouth full of powdered dougnuts and we find her passed out in the bathtub. when me and her sister try to carry her down the stairs i accidentally dropped her head. she tumbled all the way down and was still passed out when she hit the bottom…thats some serious shit.
Lmao! Every kind of tequila is my “Wild Turkey”
Lounge of III on U Street has $2 margaritas today…just so you know LOL
ok so i’ve acne on my back and chest and i in fact would like it gone prior to summer time. does individual know what meals i should apparent of? or what meals i truly eat to heal and avoid it? also is ther any lotions, medication (not to harsh), cures that i can use?? thx xox