Since I’ve been on some Usher “Confessions” shit lately, I figured that I would tell you all about another formative moment in my life that has helped make me the man that I am today. That moment is, the sex talk.
The sex talk my father gave me was priceless. I can remember it word-for-word. As a matter of fact, I feel as if I should share it with you all so that none of you readers ever end up experiencing an unplanned pregnancy or any sort of burning sensation in your genitals.
It was summertime…I was 13 years old, and my father and I were in his truck headed to the basketball court after a morning of fishing by the river. Since my parents got divorced when I was 10, basketball and fishing kind of provided a way for us to spend some time together doing things that we liked. So while we were discussing the proper way to box people out for a rebound, he suddenly decides to switch gears. This is the actual conversation transcript right here:
Dad - “Son, I have something to say to you, and I’m only going to say it one time. Don’t let your dick write you a check that your ass can’t cash. When you mess around with these girls, go to the drugstore first. ‘Cause I’m not going to be running around town writing checks for your ass.”
Me - “Where did that come from?”
Dad - “It was just on my mind. I know we haven’t had that talk yet. Your mother had a sex talk with you already, right?”
Me - “Yes”
Dad - “How long was the talk?”
Me - “About 45 minutes…maybe an hour.”
Dad - “She used words like “intercourse” didn’t she?”
Me - “Yeah, she did.”
Dad - “How long was my talk?”
Me - “About 30 seconds.”
Dad - “Which one are you going to remember?”
Obviously, you see which one I remembered. I have no kids, never had any STDs, and I owe it to that speech. I am seriously going to do the same thing when I become a father. My son(or daughter) is going to get the random suprise sex talk just like I did. I think that element of suprise made it that much more effective.
if your child isn’t resilient, that surprise sex talk thing could scar them for life and put the fear of the poon (or wang) in them fo’eva.
LOL.
i think that direct approach thing only works for same-sex children.
i’m fairly certain my dad told me not to have sex wil i had kids though, so…:shrug:
i shall relay your story to my god-children though. ;)
LOL… I’d call that an ambush. I wish someone had gave it to me simple like that, or at least as quick. Moms bored the hell outta me when she gave me the lecture. When I get married w/ some kids I think I’ll leave that job to my husband since I only want boys anyway.
*starts prayin’*
*dead* That was the funniest sex talk ever. lol. I like it. If I ever have boys, my husband is gonna have to use that. lol. The element of surprise….ah wonderful.
my mother gave it to me like that. that brawd has NO cut cards!
and that’s how my kids are gonna get it!!
You got a good sex talk: everything you need to know in less that 60 seconds, minus all the sociological and theological complications. I got no explicit sex talk, but instead got bombarded by opinions and idealogies galore. Count yourself lucky.
LOL!!!
that is hilarious.
thank you for the tips;
***I think that element of suprise made it that much more effective.****
you are so right!!!!
JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ
JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJK