I Fixed The Toilet…Kinda

I was faced with a dilemma the other day that caused my Black MacGuyver insticts to kick in once again. The little chain on the inside of my toilet that allows the knob to flush broke. This was bad, because I had company coming by in 20 minutes. I had to act fast, and time was the enemy. These were my immediate options:

Option 1: Let my guests use my roommate’s bathroom

This wasn’t a good idea, because it was through his bedroom and he was trying to get some sleep. He had to leave extra early for work that next morning, and he was up late phone-boning with his friend in New Jersey the night before. Even I have enough respect to let the man get some rest without people walking through his bedroom

Option 2: Make a trip to the hardware store to buy replacement pieces to fix it

This one would require money and transportation. Neither was at my immediate disposal that night. Besides, it would probably take me 20 minutes just to make it through the slow-ass line at that Lowes.

So I came up with Option 3, which was to take a wire hanger and bend it into a contraption that would allow the toilet to flush. Luckily, only one person other than myself had to use the bathroom that night…I showed her what to do before she went in to do her thing. To my suprise, she didn’t even clown me for my ghetto toilet. So all’s well that ends well.

I’m kinda proud of myself, because the only thing I’ve ever done remotely close to plumbing is laying HEAVY PIPE. I’ve always been pretty damn good at that…heh, heh, heh :)

@ Stacy and everyone else who’ve called me out for this before: Yeah, I know I just ruined my two week streak of not referring to my Johnson…But fuckit. I think this reference to the wang was well-timed and well placed, if I do say so myself.

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This post was written by who has written 1852 posts on Yeah…I said it.

Leon, a.k.a. God's Gift to your sense of humor.

14 Responses to “I Fixed The Toilet…Kinda”

  1. Curvy 21. Oct, 2004 at 10:30 pm #

    I feel your pain. My toilet’s doin’ some tricky junk right now where it flushes . . . when it wants. I’m actually afraid to take a shit b/c I’m not sure if this is going to be a “flush down” or a “swirl and stop.”

  2. Mary 22. Oct, 2004 at 12:43 am #

    I must be new here ’cause I don’t notice all the Mr Happy talk. Although I have noticed your toilet and activities therein get mentioned on a more than socially acceptable basis.

    Joking aside, I’m taking that phrase “phone-boning” and making it mine, all mine.

  3. Hustleman 22. Oct, 2004 at 12:52 am #

    LOL @ Mary…I didn’t invent the term, so feel free to use it all you want ;)

    Also, I’ve been told that every third entry or so makes some sort of reference to my fuck stick. That comment was made shortly after I posted the entry titled “Untimely Erections” a few weeks ago. It’s still on here somewhere.

  4. Toshiko 22. Oct, 2004 at 1:45 am #

    Why was the first thing I thought of… was you using a paperclip and attaching the little chain to both ends? I was way off.

  5. The Brutha Code 22. Oct, 2004 at 10:02 am #

    A woman who can use a coat hanger to flush her shit, and then not crack on you, is worth her weight in gold!!

  6. Margaret 22. Oct, 2004 at 10:21 am #

    HURRY, call your family in St. Louis, and congratulate them on the Cardinals (ask them to pick up some bar-b-que from C&K or some sliders from White Castles for you).

  7. jirzygurl 22. Oct, 2004 at 11:08 am #

    genius!! LOL!

  8. Anonymous 22. Oct, 2004 at 12:13 pm #

    As if a mans bathroom isn’t scary enough!! I bet she’ll use the bathroom before she gets to your house next time! -Taimia

  9. Princess Blogonoke 23. Oct, 2004 at 3:06 am #

    I congratulate you on your MacGuyver-ness. I probably would’ve used some string, but string is hard to find in this day and age of post-it notes and hair tie elastic thingys.

    Are you participating in NaNoWriMo?

  10. Dayrell 23. Oct, 2004 at 6:26 am #

    Mmm? And who said Ghetto Tendencies were a complete waste of time? Ha! I certainly detest that statement. :)

  11. Hustleman 25. Oct, 2004 at 10:42 pm #

    @ Taimia, my bathroom is clean. I make sure there’s no public hairs on the floor or anything like that. Give me SOME credit…Sheesh.

    LOL

  12. Berry 27. Oct, 2004 at 12:38 am #

    Dang, I would have just found a big safety pin to use. LOL! BTW, that happened to me recently and I discovered that they now use a rubbery plastic piece in the new toilets instead of the rusty chain in of the toilet tank. Instead of having to get inventive I just stuck a piece back in and it was all good! :-)

  13. Mampi 27. Oct, 2004 at 4:27 pm #

    tech-ni-cal-ly, i didn’t CALL you out. THAT woulda been a whole nother unwarranted phone conversation which may have resulted in insults and profanity. so :P!

  14. Zantiferous3 05. Nov, 2004 at 7:47 pm #

    Okay… you must have been laying heavy pipe, cuz I’m not putting my hand in no damn toilet tank. LOL… you know you could have used a paper clip as a replacement link. HEY WHO SAID THAT!!!???

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