If Usher can make his “Confessions” into a two-part baby’s momma drama saga…and P-Diddy can make 4 different “I Need A Girl(otherwise known as Come Back J-Lo…PLEEEEASE!)” songs…Then I can go ahead and do a two-part blog entry. And millions of people will like it because P-Diddy and Usher have set such a precedent. I thought I told you that we won’t stop.
TakeThat!TakeThat!
On to the subject…This morning, I went to a Catholic church service in NW DC. Growing up in a Baptist family, I couldn’t help but make a few of my profound observations on the differences in the way church service goes. Here are the thoughts that went through my illustriously beautiful mind this morning:
Catholic services are generally shorter than baptist services – There were no testimonials from long-winded old people or ex-crack addicts who had revelations. Also, no 20 minute songs that were originally written to last 5 minutes but were stretched out once the applause came by a chior director who wanted to “keep the party going” for the Jesus. I made it home in time to catch some NFL playoffs :)
Baptist churches have the best music – The Catholic one sang some of the same songs I remember from church, but with significantly less soul. No ad-libs from any old negro deacons inspired by God and Al Green. Plus, there were no random “Amen!”, Hallelujah!” or “GLOOOOORY!” shouts from random choir folks. It was stale in comparison.
Communion is DIFFERENT – Baptist churches only do ommunion on First Sunday. Catholic churches do it EVERY Sunday. Plus, they use REAL WINE, as opposed to the cheap-ass grape juice in the tiny clear plastic cups that Baptist churches use. The one drawback to the Catholic church communion is that I walked all the way up there to the front of the church…ate my little fake biscuit with the consistency of styrofoam, only to find out that half the church was drinking the wine OUT THE SAME CUP!!! By the time I realized this, I was at the front of the church and it was too late for me to be like “HELL NO I DON”T WANT THE BLOOD OF CHRIST!!!” So I bit the bullet and took a sip, with as little lip contact to that cup as possible. I know alcohol kills germs, but still…I’m NEVER doing that again. I’ll bring my own “Blood Of Christ” next time I attend a Catholic service. Besides, it’ll definitely taste better than that dry white wine they used…
No Soul Food Dinner after Catholic service – I knew this one was a stretch…but I couldn’t help but think about Uncle Leroy’s rolls, Grandma’s fried chicken, and the other assoerted after-church food that would be enjoyed some Sundays after service. Maybe I just thought of that since I skipped breakfast and was starving midway through the service. I had to supress the urge to tap the lady behind me and be like “You gon eat your Body of Christ biscuit?”
Catholic service is quite ritualistic – I was kinda freaked out, because the priest would say certain things, and the congregation would finish his sentences right on que. At first I was thinking to myself “What kind of David Koresh, Heaven’s Gate bullshit is this? Why didn’t I get the memo that Catholics are psychic?!?!” Then, I calmed down and thought about it…Most Catholics attended church since childhood or went to Catholic schools where they were taught this stuff. That made me feel a lot better. I had to tell folks to let me know when I was supposed to be kneeling and when I was supposed to do that cross thing where you touch your head and chest real fast.
Either way, it was cool to check out how Catholic folks do their thing. Although they’ve been getting a lot of bad press, what with the perverted ass-jockey priests who have been in the news, it was good to see a black Catholic priest and a devoted congregation who were very welcoming and nice to talk to. Still, I’m going to stick to what I know and go to Baptist churches when I can get my black ass out of bed early enough on a Sunday.
I thought the same thing about the David Koresh/Heaven’s Gate thing. I was like, “what? where’s my copy of the script?”
and you notice a priest may preach (or whatever they call it) for maybe 5 minutes while a pastor may preach for like an hour straight?
And why’d you walk up in line for communion if you’re not Catholic? I usually just stayed kneeling on the pew…
*lol* I’m still laughing, I’m crying, You so crazy!!!
At least you went to church. There’s a lot to be said for that. LOL
-Monie
Well, I guess both the Catholic and Baptist churches have their pros and “cons,” so to speak. But like u, I can’t tear myself away from the screams and shouts of a preacher, with a harmonious choir giving the congregation “da bidness” over some boomin’ a$$ bass. Now, if my church would eliminate the cover charge and the 2 (grape) drink minimum, I might be more apt to continue my fellowship there.
“HELL NO I DON’T WANT THE BLOOD OF CHRIST”*dead*
I can’t stop laughing. I don’t believe you wrote that, LMAO. You need only so much help. And “body of Christ biscuit”???? LMAO oh lawd. I’m gonna die over here.
Catholic services are generally shorter than baptist services- Catholic services are shorter than any other denomination church out there. I went to a non-denominational church *read cult-esque* growing up. The whole shebang took two hours. One hour for songs, testimonials, dedications and pray requeste, one hour for the long-winded pastor to speak.
Baptist churches have the best music- I’ve never personally been to a baptist church, but I give you this one hands down. TV and Movies make Baptist church choirs look rockin’ (that’s the white girls opinion)
Communion is DIFFERENT- I think baptist churches and non-denominational churches both use grape juice because of all the AA members. Catholic churches ENCOURAGE the drinking of the wine! LOL.
No Soul Food Dinner after Catholic service- not familiar. :(
Catholic service is quite ritualistic- Yeah, it’s freaky! I went to a confirmation (also weird) and they did this part where you shake the person next to you’s hand. I was like “hi, how ya doin?” and they were like “peace with you”. I thought it was like a ‘greet your neighbor’ kinda think like in my church. Oops.
Them catholics are funny….
Great blog, dead on..
I totally understand where you’re comming from…my DH is “raised in the womb” Catholic; Catholic school from K-12. He hasn’t been to church in forever but when we do go, he can repeat every line, hymm and cross himself like he goes everyday! Plus the up and down, up and down of it is confusing!
The real plus of a Catholic service is that you’re out of there in 45min to 1hr including singing and offering. Also, most Catholic churches have that come as you are policy-no Holy Divas trying to out do others there!
I do miss the music of a Baptist church.
rock
p.s. your blog is the shit!
LMAO- seek refuge when lightening strikes you blasphemous nutcase!!. “body of christ biscuit”hahahah!!Was raised catholic,but even i still get confused sometimes by all the rituals.
My only Catholic experiences have been a wedding and two funerals….all on my dad’s side of the family…..at any rate, they offered communion there too! And all I kept thinking as I stayed in my pew was “BACKWASH CITY!!” that and I knew we were going to drink a bunch at the receptions afterward….
“I’ll bring my own “Blood Of Christ” next time I attend a Catholic service.”
ROFLMBO!!! Man….why did I grow up Catholic and I’ve NEVER sipped out of that same wine goblet that everybody sips out of?!? LOL I just take my leavened bread and walk past the person holding the wine goblet. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Hmm…I’ve never thought about bringing my own “blood of Christ” as you so mentioned. Maybe I can come up in that mug with some Arbor Mist or something. Whaddya think? hee hee
I’m glad you had a pleasant experience at a Catholic service. Holy Communion at the Catholic Church is about receiving Jesus Christ in His Real Presence within you. It is not figurative, it is real. That is the main reason why it is not administered in “individual servings” as in the Protestant churches. Catholics serve from one cup because we are joined together drinking the actual “Blood Christ” that is consecrated during the service. It can not be poured into little plastic cups and remain intact and Holy – only people who are trained to administer the actual Real Presence of Jesus Christ should be handling His Blood.
Unbeknowst to you, you took in Jesus Christ that day and walked around with His Body and Blood, did you know that? That is the main reason why the Catholic Church asks that persons who are not in Full Communion (in line with the belief that the Real Presence exists in the appearance of the bread and the wine) with the Church not receive Communion during service.
While you may not understand all of the service as one who has never attended, it all serves a purpose to unite Catholics across the world with each other. You can go to Mass anywhere and know what to do, what to say, and feel at home. There is even a book – a missal -that is written that aids you to follow along. Can you go to a Baptist service anywhere and say that? No. Because each Baptist, Methodist, etc service is different.
How you worship God is a personal choice. Please give deference and respect to the Catholic choice by following the guidelines of the Church when you choose to attend, if you do not agree that the truth lies in the Catholic interpretation.
Hey Leon…although this blog is old, you know I had to comment because this is my first time coming across it.
Hmm I have to disagree w/ Catholic Anon person.
Point number one: “only people who are trained to administer the actual Real Presence of Jesus Christ should be handling His Blood.”
None of this is scriptual. Show me one scripture where a particular person has to be trained to do this. That is just something the church institutes, because it gives us some order. But you can observe and do communion at home or wherever. The purpose is to examine yourself I Corinthians 11:23-24/Psalm 139:23-24. Repent, and then acknowledge the price paid for us by the eating of the bread, and the partaking of the wine. The wine/grape juice simply is symbolic of the shed blood that Jesus shed on Calvary on our behalf. Communion is something to be taken very seriously…but God gives us wisdom. It is 2006, and it isn’t wise to be sharing cups w/ anyone nowadays. So I dont blame you. At my church its individual.
As far as me, I attend a non- demoninational church. Simply because I dont’ believe in religion, I believe in Christ. There’s a difference. Religion is something instituted by man, they add their own rituals etc. Being a Christian isnt a religion to me, its a way of life. Just my 3 cents. I dont believe God ever intended us to be separated in the body of Christ and that’s what religion has done. Purely a trick of the enemy to not get us on one accord. If believers could get on one accord we could do some serious stuff in our communities, and in society on this earth realm…
Well now I’m babbling…but u know u can find me on my space if u want to continue this convo…
I just want you to seek, so u can find the right information…and dont listen to just anyone. http://www.myspace.com/missdivyne