Say baby…I hear you’re single these days. I know you’re hurting, but I want to ease that pain. Yeah, that’s right…I’m offering you the opportunity to do the rebound thing with me.
I know I’m not on the financial level of the men you’re used to dating, but it’s 2005. These days, more and more celebrities are marrying broke-ass nobodys, backup dancers, weed peddlers and other such average guys. At least you’ll be able to have a writer/artist on your arm. I’d be like the male version of Yoko Ono or some shit.
Also, I’ll go ahead and admit it. Brad Pitt is one of the 4 people on Earth that I’ll openly concede women find(GASP) better looking than me. But since you’ve already been there/done that, why not give me a try? I’m telling you girl…My wang is of the superior variety. You’ll be happy you made that choice. I will make love to your mind and skeet sunshine all over your soul. Do not deny yourself such pleasurable pleasure.
Now that I’ve laid my cards out on the table, I’ll be awaiting your call. I would put my phone number up here for you, but I think that I’d get all kinds of prank phone calls from people claiming to be you. So hit me up at HustlemanL77@yahoo.com and let me mend your broken heart.
Hustleman
Seriously, “Office Space” was my shit. So was “Friends”…So if Jennifer Aniston actually did offer to fly me out to LA to go with her to Roscoes Chicken & Waffles, I’d be on the next flight out.
“I will make love to your mind and skeet sunshine all over your soul”…what woman could resist such a wonderful offer?
P.S. Having a superior wang doesn’t hurt either! *wink*
rock
P.S.S Do you think Jen still has her “flair”? LOL
LOL, you’re so funny!
Can’t remember the last time I had sunshine skeeted on my soul. . . damn I’m slippin in my pimpin. . .lol!
LMAO @ you!!!! OMG lil leon acting da fool.. just take her to Stan’s ;)
Dammit, Tam beat me to the quote…LOL…I wonder what skeeted sunshine feels like…I have to say that my soul has seriously missed out.
Now that was a funny letter. If you end up at Roscoe’s with Jen don’t forget to order the mac and cheese. Its really good.
Who are the other 3 men better looking than you?
Skeet sunshine …. sick. So sick. lol
I’m sure she read this and is right now considering the ramifications of having a hot-sexxxy you on her arm. Stay by your phone. She’s bound to call. And whatchall know bout Stan’s. Not Stan’s in DC, in the basement on the corner. Not Stan’s with the always steaming hot chicken wings.
Yep…THAT Stan’s…LOL
Dude you are great man….I wanted to send a similar type missive to Tatyana Ali after Jonathan Brandis died…but a chick talked me out of it….
I’m so with you on this one. Jennifer Aniston is SO one of the white women I’d bring home to mom and pop. And anybody who would have beef could kiss my ass. Her, Charlize Theron (African-American, no???), Jennifer Love Hewitt, Hillary Duff (when she turns 18…make that 21), Lindsay Lohan, that doofy ass chick that looked kind of orange in Mean Girls that was friends with the evil chick, and Mandy Moore. White Girls I’d Bring Home to Mama!!!
This is kinda off the topic, but I live in DC and sadly…I don’t know anythings about Stan’s.
Please, someone, enlighten me…
I would tell you that you’re wrong for this – but I think you already know that.
SELL OUT!!!
“skeet sunshine all over your soul” ROTFLMAO!!!!i think i speak for ALL woman when i say, “uuhhh yeah ….just watch my eyes”……(bad bad *slapping my writsts*)
ps the angry black woman’s coalition against brothas with white broads (A.B.W.C.A.B.W.W.B) has just adjourned….it has been decided that jennifer aniston is accepatble (second only to Angelina Joile—because she is crazy enough to be a sista!!!!)
LMAO @ Shan’s comments…yep, Angie Jo does have some sista in her…I guess, Jenny is ok, but any one of them other “Friends,” hell no.
You ain’t got no sense…Hey I changed a few things around on the page…Come check it out and tell me what you think…Like or dislike…You know…Well I’ll keep you posted
Yes, who are the other 3 men?
Any man confident enough to talk about their wang…gets a thumbs up from me, lol. :)
ROFLMAO… that is so hilarious.
There are only a handful of white men I would consider giving the offer to. Hmmm… and Brad Pitt is actually one of them. He’s been number one on my list of white boys since Legends of the Fall *swooning* Hmmph… maybe it’s time for me to write a letter… Angelina Jolie?? Please, she’s a crazy bitch. Plus after that dalliance with Robin Givens, I know he’s willing to do the swirl… once I lose 10 pounds, I might write a letter of my own. LOL
There has been a lot of horrible remarks concerning Jennifer Aniston doing the rounds on the internet lately. I consider she looks fantastic, particularly after losing a couple of kilos.
I don’t understand how somebody would purchase a perfume called Jennifer Aniston. It doesn’t sound like a perfume and doesn’t give the correct feeling.
I would love to see Jennifer Aniston one day just to shake her hand and give a kiss! I would love to introduce my daughter to such a great woman!