Before I begin, let me first apologize for not blogging in a week. These past few days have been rather hectic, and since I’m not getting paid to write(yet), I didn’t get to do my thing on here. I feel bad because I heard that folks actually missed me, believe it or not. I will be bombarding you with a shitload of writing in the next few days, since I have a bunch of things on my mind that need to be released on some “Wooo-Saaah” shit like in Bad Boys II.
Where should I begin? I guess I will let you all know what I did on Saturday…
Not a gotdamned thing. The highlight of my day was buying a couple “Snackers” sandwiches from KFC and watching “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.” I had to recover from consuming alcohol with folks every night from Wednesday to Friday. My body needed a rest and recovery day. Thanks to the el-cheapo sandwiches and that funny ass movie, it was all worthwhile.
Seriously. The concept of “Snackers” is pure genius. Someone in the KFC shipping and storage plant probably said “Dude, we have a shitload of extra chicken strips in the fridge. What the hell are we gonna do with them all?”
To which his manager most likely replied “Man, throw them things in between some bread and put some of that mayo with the sparkle-y shit on it. We can sell ‘em for a dollar apeice and cheap motherfuckers from all over will knock down the doors for some.”
There you have it…The birth of a marketing miracle. Colonel Sanders, I may not live past 50 due to all this colesterol and grease, but dammit I’m going to enjoy every minute leading up to my early death thanks to you.
Now, onto Harold and Kumar. Way better than I thought it would be. That movie had me in tears laughing. That’s the type of dumb ass shit I want to one day be responsible for bringing to the screen. I may even do them one better and reprise the “Ernest” character played by the late great Jim Varney…Only play the part myself and call the main character “Leon”. I can see some of the titles now…
“Leon Goes To Iraq”
“Leon Goes To Magic City”
“Leon Goes To Hell”
“Leon Goes To Therapy”
If that goes as planned, I’ll be a multi-thousandaire by the age of thirty. “I’M RIIIIIICH, BIIIIIIIIIITCH!”
On a parting note, I also got to indulge in another guilt pleasure last night. I actually like those syndicated shows with hot women fighting crime, like V.I.P. and the one that came on Saturday, “She Spies”. The plot/acting are pure crap, but hot women + humor that’s sometimes intended but usually not + explosions + LATE night boredom = a winning formula to me. Fuck it.
Like I said, I’ll be back VERY soon with some more shit to talk about. Maybe I’ll ponder the meaning of life. Or maybe I’ll talk about women with facial hair. Who knows. Just be sure to stop back by and show me love :)
Tweet
I keep hearing about that White Castle movie…
And I am SO mad at your description of the Snacker having “mayo with sparkly stuff”…ROFL
Those Snackers are addicting! I had 18 in one day! Well, not really, but a whole damn lot, that’s for sure.
Man, now I have a craving for cheapo-sandwichy goodness. Yum.
LOL@multi-thousandaire. LOL You’re a hot mess.
Leon goes to Magic city. you need Jesus
I love those buffalo Snackers. That was a grand idea from KFC.
Please talk about women with facial hair. I’m bubbling over with laughter in anticipation of it.
Leon, let me know if you need help shooting some of those movies.
So in a sense you would be an ethnic mix of those Ernest and Pauly Shore movies, eh? Very sad.
I’m with you on the Snackers thing. I was just talking about those things the other day, damn, who knew, Snacker can actually be the highlight of one’s convo? But like you said..cheap folk…
I happen to like the buffalo barbaque sandwich ones myself.
Umm? Well hope to see you back soon.