Rest In Peace Celebs

I had to edit this, because I think I actually managed to piss off God last night when I tried to post my original version of today’s entry.

First of all, I want to say Rest In Peace to all the celebrities that died these past two weeks. Well, at least to the two that had the biggest impact on me: The Pope and Johnnie Cochran.

In the Pope’s case, I felt bad for him. I know he’s up there in heaven looking down on all this media coverage, probably having conversations with other dead celebrities. Probably a little something like this.

The Pope(in Polish): “Man, look at this shit. 6 months ago, all these folks were talking trash about the Catholic Church…Making us out to be a bunch of overdressed ass fuckers. Now, they’re all hanging off my rosaries since I’m dead. I’m like ‘nigga, you never put me on tv this much when I was blessing people’. Now that I’m dead, they got my ashy, crusty, dry ass pale ass corpse on the front page of every newspaper and on TV every 5 minutes. The least they could have done was throw some lotion or vaseline on my face or something.”

Ol’ Dirty Bastard: Yeah…but NIGGA. That is a pimp-ass red robe you got on. I think I saw Ghostface Killa rocking some shit like that last week!”

The Pope: “Yeah, That one was my favorite. I’d step into a church with that one on, and I’d have ALL the nuns talking ’bout breaking their vows. Good God I was the man. I mean for real…Look at this. Folks are coming from all over the world, just to stand in line for 11 hours in order to see some shit they could see on their living room TV sets from the comforts of home. I even saw RIP T-shirts with my picture on the front…Pouring out Holy Water…They doing the damned thing down there.”

Terri Schaibo: “Yeah, well, they sweatted me, too. Not quite as hard, but I was the flavor of the week until you died and stole my shine. Plus, they kept showimg me with that fucked-up crooked smile on my face. I don’t want to be remembered like that…Anyway…Anybody got anything to eat? A bitch is starving.”

*Nervous silence*

Terri Schaibo: “Just fucking with y’all…”

*Laughter ensues*

Johnnie Cochran: “Yeah, well…I know one thing. Black celebrities had best to NOT fuck up now. I’m not there to get y’all out of shit anymore. Sorry, but MJ, you’re screwed.”

The Pope: “See…Johnnie, at least your death suprised a few people. They’ve had a death watch going on me for the last 8 months or so. I couldn’t take a shit for too long before rumors would start to circulate.”

Johhnie Cochran: “Yeah, but we’re here now. Pass me some of that Henny and Holy Water you got over there. It’s time to party!”

Maybe it’s just me…But I think it would go a little something like that. Rest in peace to all the folks who passed away in 2005. Throw down some ice for the nicest MC..or in my case, blog writer.