Disclaimer: Today’s topic includes graphic language and adult situations. Viewer discretion is advised.
Ladies, what’s your opinion on anal sex? Love it? Hate it? Never tried it? Just alright?
Fellas, what’s your take on it? Just to be crystal clear, I am talking about fucking someone else in the ass, not taking it in the bootyhole yourself. To any gay readers, I’m not knocking y’all…but fuck that shit. I don’t know how you all do it. I can’t even wipe my ass too hard with cheap toilet paper, cause a SCRATCH in that region hurts like a bitch. Y’all motherfuckers must be on some extra strength painkillers or something to be able to enjoy having objects stuck up there.
I’m going to go ahead and share way too much information with you all once again since folks seem to like it when I do. I am not a fan of anal sex. Nevermind that there’s a perfectly good vagina right there which is much more inviting…Nevermind that ass is, well, it’s ass. And asses tend to stink…The real reason I don’t like anal sex is because I tried the shit once and had a bad experience.
The year was around 2001 or 2002. I was at Dream nightclub hanging out with friends whom I met up with there. Around midnight, I ran into a lady whom I used to go out and have relations with. We hadn’t seen each other in awhile, she was looking good, and we were both tipsy. I convinced her to leave with me. So we’re on the way to my place…I’m getting head while driving on 295, smiling like that dude Bob from the Enzyte commercials…We finally make it inside my place to the living room couch, and as we undress, she says ” We can’t really do it, cause I’m still on my period, a little.”
My first thought was “Why the fuck did you get my dick harder than Chinese arithmatic sucking on it in the car…then come all the way over here before telling me that?!?!”
Then, I remembered something…This lady was always up for WHATEVER idea I had in mind. I could have told her I was into Vietnamese migdets wearing nipple clamps, and she would have found one for me. So I get the bright idea to suggest anal sex since “Aunt Flo” was still visiting. Unfortunately for me, I did not realize that anal sex requires preparation. I just tried to stick my dry ass, latex condom-covered dick up in her non-lubricated ass. It felt like I was trying to stick a jumbo hot dog through the top of a 12oz soda bottle. The shit just wasn’t happening. She said it hurt…and to be honest, it hurt me just as much, if not more. I didn’t even finish getting the head in before I gave up, and convinced her to go down on me some more before I drove her back to her car.
Ever since then, I have kept Leon Jr, jr. out of all bootyholes. Maybe if I knew what I was doing, I would have liked it better…but I still say that I’d much rather be in some pussy. I think if that shit was meant to happen, I wouldn’t have to go through all kinds of changes and research just to enjoy it.
That said, I don’t think my wang is appropriate for it, either. I know I talk about Leon Jr. jr a lot, but my shit isn’t supernatural…I’m not Dirk Diggler, but God was good to a motherfucker regardless. I don’t want to have to stretch out orifaces and defy the laws of physics and gravity just to have a good time. I like a nice, warm, cozy fit. Besides, that leather-donut look that most buttholes have kinda disgusts me sometimes. A nice looking vagina is way more appealing to me. Not one of those burnt-up roast beef looking snatches, but a nice, well-kept one. Ladies, take care of the meat curtains. Us guys will thank you for it :)
In closing, I’d like to get opinions on what y’all think of booty love. You can post anonymously if you don’t want the world to know you’re an ass jockey. I don’t really care…I just want to see what folks have to say about the topic.
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LOL @ ‘meat curtains”!
Tried it several times w/ a guy. He liked it, I liked it. I can definitely see why people would hate it though. It’s…serious business.
“Besides, that leather-donut look that most buttholes have kinda disgusts me sometimes”, had me dying laughing! I think the anus serves a very unique purpose! Sex is not the purpose! I have never, and will never condone this act! Aunt Flo or no Aunt Flo! You did the best thing in retreating! You are beyond funny!
The problem here is that girls are afraid all the time but boys are not :P Every man must have one boy’s ass out of ten girls.
Love anal sex. I am a woman, I love anal sex, I love everything about it. I wish I could do it more often. Love anal sex pornography, just absolutely adore it. Surest way to orgasm for me… oral or anal. Only thing is, I would never do it with a man who has not done it before. First he might not know how to ease it in the right way and second, well, on occasion shit happens, and an amateur dabbler in booty sex might not be able to handle a tiny bit of you know what….
You are right LOL. That is too much information :D Well I don’t understand it either but who am I to judge, right? I don’t have anything against it but i prefer the old fashion way.