I don’t know if you all have heard R. Kelly’s latest song, but if you have, you know exactly why I’m writing about him. The song is called “Trapped In The Closet”, and from what I hear, there are like 4 or 5 parts to it. I have only heard what I think are Part 1 and Part 2, but that’s more than enough for me to say that this fool done gone plum loco.
The premise of the song is R(or as he pronounces it, ArrA) meets some woman at a club, goes home with her, blows her back out, then goes to hide in the closet when her husband(whom he didn’y know about) comes home. This fool has a gun on him, yet he stays there to listen to the husband and wife argue, only to have the husband(who’s a preacher) reveal his gay lover to the world.
Maybe this overdone plot would be cool if it were one of those shitty ass black paperback novels you see in Barnes and Nobles over in the section with all that stuff by Zane and them…but I’m not trying to hear a soap opera on the radio like that. It was funny when it was him, Ron Isley, and Chante Moore talking bout “I’m about to catch a caaaaaaaaassse”…but that dramatic stageplay bullshit has gotten old to me. I don’t know, maybe I just get tired of gimmicks faster than most people…but R is capable of better. It’s funny how the same man who wrote songs that are going to go down in history as classics like “I Believe I Can Fly” and even “Step In The Name Of Love” can produce some of the most ignorant songs or our era. I mean, “Feelin On Yo Booty”? “You Remind Me Of My Jeep”? Now this shit?
Then again, I guess it’s a testament to the man’s talent. Who else could actually have a hit record with a song called “You Remind Me Of My Jeep” as the lead single. That shit would bury most people’s careers, but he made it catchy. As much shit as I’m talking, I do know all the words to it.
“It’s something ’bout your love that’s got me going crazy
Baby you know I want you real bad
And girl you know I like your freaky style
How can I be down with yooouuuu?”
Seriously, R. Kelly isn’t the first person to make a song like this, though. I heard a song by an old blues man named Roy C. that is VERY similar to “Trapped In The Closet”, only much funnier. In the song, Roy was doing it to some lady and her husband came home. He went and hid in the closet, but the only problem was that his balls were hanging out the closet door. So the husband comes upstairs, sees the balls hanging out the closet, and asks “Baby, what’s these?”
So she said “Oh those? Those are Christmas Bells”
In the song, this is the part where Roy C sings “He rolled up a newspaper, and hit me in my right baaaaaaaaaalll”
Once the husband hits the balls and hears nothing, he says “Baby, they must be broke. They don’t make a sound”
This is the part where Roy C. sings “He pulled out a hammer and he hit me in my left baaaaaaaaallll”
Once again, no sound. So the husband leaves the room and comes back with a baseball bat.
This is the part where Roy C. sings with extra passion and conviction “The ONLY THIIING, that came to miiiiinnd, was ‘DING DONG!!!’” as if to imply that he yelled out ‘ding dong’ and ran out of there for dear life.
My Grandma’s husband Lesse has that on cassette somewhere. Once I find out the name of that song, I’m going to put a link to it on here. Hearing the song is funny as hell, so I think you all would enjoy it.
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LMAO!! Stop playin’!! Your grandma does NOT have a song talking about balls and hammers! SMDH! :-)
Ah ha! It isn’t just me!! There IS something wrong with every musical genius spawned into this world!
That shyt was funny as hell!!! Please link that song. LOL
ArrrA. It’s true. Ever notice how you’ll be singing the lyrics to one of his “booty time classics” and suddenly feel outright shame that your crooning along to such…bullshit?
While cleaning my bathroom over the weekend, I was listening to “Half on a Baby.” Singing my heart out…”on a sweet little baby girl…” I stopped, looked in the mirror and laughed my ass off. If Charlie ever came at me with some “half on a baby” stuff. He’s clever…but he also pushes us to the limits of “taste” by eh…keeping it…real?
Find that song…share it with us. Please.
PS – As iriony would have it, my blog this morning is about the pathetic state of Black Fiction, spawned by my own visit last night with Barnes and Noble. Great minds truly think alike. :) Have a good one.
*lol* You are crazy. Please find that link.
BTW–I liked Feeling on Yo Booty!! (I think maybe there was a remix–I didn’t like that, but I did like the original.)
Damn homie… you have me cryin here. Please find that link. That song sounds HILARIOUS.
They don’t call that fool the Pied Piper for nothing. It’s like you try your damnedest not to get into an R Kelly songs, but he seems to reel your ass right in. You’ll say to yourself, “I’m not listening to this shit.” Then the next thing you know, you’re hooked.
I refuse to believe the song you speak of is real. I just refuse. LMAO!
Pied piper in deed…the story goes on and he eventually bangs his wife’s back out too on the same day. I’m willing to be MONEY on the fact that R Kelly can’t make a woman reach her peak to save his life. Always talking about banging somebody’s back out. Sound to me like he’s overcompensating. Wasn’t nobody enjoying themselves in those sex tapes but him…..so I’m told.
i feel lucky as hell not to have heard the r kelly song. i think he’s a waste of talent. he made hits with celine dion and many others but his ass is pissing on chicks on the table and in the closet.
I’m surprised you didn’t mention
Arra’s hit before the Closet series: the one about “doin’ it in the kitchen by the butter rolls” and other health code violations! LOL What I really want to know is, how did that guy get nothing but his balls to hang out of the closet?
I KNOW THAT SONG!! My dad has it,too.
“….shitty ass black paperback novels….stuff by Zane and them…” I am mad at that Leon. I don’t know about the rest, but I love Zane’s books. BTW please link the site….LMAO @ “Oh those? Those are Christmas Bells”.
*dead*
lol…damn do I wanna here that song. i’ll DEF be looking out for the link. lol.
LMAO… I believe there IS a song like that! I remember my dad playing a song talking about “MY DINGALING”… LOL MAN OH MAN! Ur a trip!
*choking with laughter*
PLEASE tell me that you made that shit up about the hammer and balls song. PLEASE!
I am dying laughing my ass off. Must. Save. Me.
Stop playing about grandmama…I’ll keep you posted
Arra definitely is “special,” and Black people will support him where ever he goes (just as long as it’s not near their 13 yr. old daughter/granddaughter).
You won’t believe me, but my mom has that song……and I thought of it when I first heard the closet song from Arra.
fine that link. that is funny : hammer and balls!
@ DimpledGemini and Nikilovely, thanks for verifying for the rest of the readers here that this song does indeed exist…LOL. I can’t remember the name. I just remember that it’s by Roy C.
@ Ashley, “My Dingaling” is a different song by Clarence Carter. The same guy that sang “I been STROKIN! That’s what I been doing…I been STROKIN!”
@ RPM, yheah, the black fiction section of Borders is some sad looking shit. Cover art to half those books be looking all amateur and crap-tacular…LOL
@ The Kid, I liked that song, too. It’s really dumb, but really catchy. So can I feel on your booty? Someday? Please? :)
@ Zehara, when I see a woman reading a Zane book on the train or something, the first thought that comes to mind is “Deep down, this chick is probably a FREEEEEEAAAK!” LOL. Call me. :)
@ Nia, you know you watched that shit…LOl
@ Miss Rei, even my vivid imagination couldn’t come up with some shit like that.
@ G. Corneilius, those trips to Grandma’s house are what turned me on to some of that old blues shit. They say some funny shit on those songs.
Aruh is doing what Aruh does!! He’s got folks talking about it. Sure us uppity Negroes find the songs silly. But we still talk about it. And I’ll admit that I’m kinda looking forward to part 5. Not that I’d ever buy it or anything. But I will definately watch the “movie” when it’s done. I will watch and critique. Dang should I go hang my head in shame??
LMAO HELL NAW LEON… I want to hear that song!! I hope you find the name of that song soon.
I don’t like R. Kelly… nasty bastard. lol.
Thank you! I thought I was the only one who hated Feelin on Your Booty!! lol.
I don’t believe that song exists- I think you’re lyin’! lol
I’m with Zehara….Zane books are the bomb. Although, I had to stop reading them when I’m alone. I need “something” close by….LOL
Arra gets on my damn nerves. I think he’s gay. Straight men aren’t fueled by drama like him…damn DL brother!!!
ROY C & FRIENDS (Three Gems, TGS 126CD), 2000
You Don’t Know What It’s Like To Be Black/My Girl Melody (Dennis Edwards)/Lonely I Was (Roy C & Linda Caver)/Saved By The Bell & Infidelity Georgia/Hurt Keeps Getting Stronger (Chuck Roberson)/Just One Chance (Jim Bennett and Lady Mary)/Neighborhood Scandal/You And I/Honey I Still Love You (Mark IV)/Peeping Through The Window/I Been Down So Long (Touch feat. Jeff)
Once again I flex my musical research skill prowess…. no applause make checks payable to E.
THe name of the song is ” SAVED BY THE BELL”
I have GOT to hear that song you’re talking about! Not referring to that RKelly joint because I’ve already heard all four joints. There are five total. *shaking my head* Crazy thing is, everytime they play the whole “saga” on the radio, I’m listening like it’s the first time I’ve heard it. LOL “Shhhh ya’ll. I’m trying to hear!”
ROFLMAO..Looking forward to the song.
*Note to self…Read a Zane book to Tamara and get next to her next time she’s in DC*
@ e_1979, you are the motherfuckin’ MAN!!! Thank you for putting the name of that song on here. Everybody, now that you know the name, you can go to your local record store and buy the shit…or download it online, which I’m sure most of you cheap bastards will end up doing ;)
@ Erica, this is totally unrelated…but you’re hot :)
@ B.E.G., you could get it to. 3 times in one night. Just give me 15 minutes and a bottle of gatorade between sessions…LOL
I like that crappy song. yes it is whack as all hell but still entertaining albeit in a mind-numbing way. I too am looking forward to part 5… how much more can go down? but then again I like that damn whisper song and that is about as ignant as you can get…
Goodness. LOL.
Hey man, you have haven’t seen the worst of it yet! i hear there’s going to be a mini-flick on B.E.T. based on the 5 chapters of “Trapped In The Closet.” As foolish as it is, I bet we’ll all be watching it!
Lyrics: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4.
That’s sad I haven’t heard any of the songs or seen the music video for “Trapped In The Closet”. The other sad part is *shaking my head”, this blog page http://www.thedizchicago.blogspot.com/
The whole blog page dedicated to ARrrrahhh
The “My Ding-A-Ling” song that was referenced is actually by Chuck Berry….I’ve met him, he’s a nice guy!
..WAIT that Isley Bro’s song just playeds the other day and I was thinking about how ill it was that, that old man was singing..”….AND I’m about to catch a Case…!” Hillarious, but you did not need to stick Arra out like this. You know he’s sensitive! I’m on my way ask Jez about the airing of this mini series. They sure have changed these days.
You straight dumb….
You must post this song…what’s taking so long?
and add me to your links if you like my blog :-)
The Name of the song is
Infidelity Georgia-Roy C
thanks @ anonymous and everybody else. I forgot about linking the song, but I’ll try to find it and do it ASAP.
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