It’s a plain fact of life. Pretty people get more chances to succeed. Think about it…how many times have you seen a bum and been like “Damn that dirty stankin’ bummy motherfucker is fine”? Now I know that a lot of the world’s best, brightest, and richest people are not what most would call attractive. They just did what they had to do to get that money. You can best believe none of them were lazy or dumb. Only pretty people are afforded those luxuries.
It’s a proven fact. Folks get more chances when you’re good-looking. You could be a lazy bastard, or even dumb as bricks…but someone will take a liking to you and give you a chance at relative success. How many of y’all have someone pretty at the office who is ditzy as hell? I currently don’t have any co-workers like that, but I’ve seen a few in my day. I’m not complaining, cause I love eye candy as much as the next man. I will even go so far as to say that folks need to accept the fact that being pretty has perks instead of hating on those that were aided in life by their genetics. Next time I run across a group of old bitter black women hating on some fine young chick the whole office is sweating, I’m going to tell them to accept reality. Shit happens. Same goes for those “non-standout” women of all other races. I just know that black women can be the most notorious perpetrators of this shit. I’ve seen plenty of women see someone for the first time and be like “I don’t like her. That bitch thinks she’s cute.”
Plus, as I’ve said before, you get free passes to get away with more shit when you’re attractive. I’ve literally had nasty looking co-workers make sublte compliments and been like “This makes me uncomfortable. I should report her ass for sexual harassment”. Whereas, I’ve also had pretty co-workers say flat out sexual shit to me and been fine with it. It’s a double standard, but it’s the way of the world.
Even when I applied to go to Hampton University, they made everyone send in a picture with their application. Now granted, a few Magilla Gorilla looking bastards slipped through the cracks, but for the most part, HU had some BEAUTIFUL women. Pretty much all of the ones I knew from school eventually found their way into some kind of good job in corporate America. Coincidence? I think not.
Let’s not limit this to corporate America. I went to happy hour at this cigar bar called Ozio that I used to frequent back when I first got out of school. The bathroom attendant is this tall african dude that looks a LOT like Manute Bol, the 7’7″ tall former basketball player. Well, Manute must have been sniffing that white stuff on Friday, cause that lanky, skinny, 130 pound bitch started talking shit to me for no reason at all. It’s funny, because it happened about an hour after I wrote that shit about the ugly African lady who cussed me out. I tried to figure out what the fuck he was upset about, but I couldn’t…so I said “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but I should beat your blue black ass for even coming at me like that. All I want to do is take a piss, wash my hands, and leave.”
Upon leaving the restroom and telling my friends what almost happened, I realized something. If I were a big gummed, lanky, bug eyed, FUGLY motherfucker like that sitting in a little bathroom all night smelling people’s shit and piss, I might be just a little bit bitter, too. It’s probably enough to drive someone to sniffing that white stuff. I found out that had I called my friend who grew up with the owner, I could have gotten away with beating his ass and not even gotten thrown out the place. Manute is not exactly too popular for some reason.
There was also one more thing this weekend which proved the power of the pretty person. I was walking in this mall on Sunday, when I was passing a cologne and oil stand. I already have a place where I get my stuff from, so I didn’t pay it any mind…until I saw HER. The woman working there was just pretty for no damn reason. I mean like, mesmerizing type of pretty. The kind that could make a Rhodes scholar forget civilized standard English and be like “Shit bitch you is fine!” I had no intention of buying shit, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk away before letting her wave about 6 different tissues sprayed with various colognes in my face. I was strong enough to walk away without buying any $60 bottles of cologne that I don’t need(and can also get for $25, if anybody in interested in the hookup), but I’m sure she’s gotten plenty of less diciplined dudes to spend half their paycheck on cologne and body oils.
So as I stated before, pretty people have natural advantages in the game of life. Some capitalize on it, others become trophy wives and get kicked to the curb once their looks start to fade…But don’t be discouraged, ugly folks. There is room for you to succeed. You may have to be smarter, or work harder, but once you’re a baller, you can get you your very own pretty person, regardless of how busted you look. So in retrospect, I guess it works out for everybody…I guess.
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*sucks teeth and goes into Nino Brown mode*
Pretty motherfucker.
Dude, I must admit that the only reason I applied to Hampton was because the chick working the Hampton table at the college fair I attended in high school was fine as hell!!
And then I got on the yard, and she wasn’t even in the tope 10%! LOL
The lawd works in mysterious ways… and normally through fine people…. heh heh
Leon, you can say this cus you’re attractive. But it’s rare you find an ugly person willing to openly admit that they gotta work a bit harder than someone attractive. In some circles, your stating the obvious will get you ostrocized because ugly people have worked hard to convince the world that if an attractive person acknowleges the benefits of good looks, s/he thinks s/he is better than other people. Not the case at all. (Most) People aren’t blind and can tell cute from butt-assed ugly. It’s simply a matter of knowing your strengths and weaknesses.
I went to a hysterically black institution in VA as well, and i must say…whiie not a student at hampton, i did enjoy the view…sistahs were tight up there…
I’ll have to agree with you 100% on this one. There is a reason beautiful women make great sales women. Because men want to impress them and the fastest way to impress a woman is to show that you can afford the shit that they are peddling. The subliminal message is that ‘See, baby, I can do this for you too.’ But I can’t hate the game.
It never fails. When I hear or read Mangilla the Gorilla I LOSE MY COMPOSURE!!! I’m saying!!!! LOL X 100!
LMAO!!too funny!but Leon i notice a pattern here,why do you always make the ugly people African?.
@ Max, that was just the last two times. Trust and believe there are PLENTY of very sexy African women out there who make me break my neck and stare on a regular basis. It’s just that the last few African folks who have done something blog-worthy around me have been less than attractive LOL
LOL Leon, I have been telling folks this for years. I have gotten a LOT of help due to my looks. I work hard, damn hard… but I know some of the time because I have a polished professional look, am black, have light skin, and women tend to like my look… I get opportunities to represent my office or firm or whatever.
Of course, it could just be because people think I am related to Al B. Sure.
“That bitch think she cute” is a top ten phrase.
gunner went to a hysterically black college? [/tangent]
so umyeah… i’m with kajuana. you only say that cuz you’re fine as shit, leon. i also believe pretty people are afforded certain luxuries. there’s this biracial chick at my office who’s a fucking knockout. i was completely taken aback at how hard her life was up until about 10 years ago (she’s like 37). don’t you know if i was as fine as HER i would have had ZERO worries??
Yup, it sure does pay to be cute….
LMAO@ you saying there’s no one at your office like that… maybe it’s YOU!!! ROFLMAO I’m kidding.
LMAO @ Xquizzyt1…That;s fucked up LOL
@ Yes I am, You probably know…Cause judging from the photo, you shole is fine!
Yes, I said “shole”. You made me take it back to the slave vernacular. That’s how fine you are…LOL
Oh yeah…and I smiled when the beautiful Kajuana wrote that I was attractive. I’m glad nobody saw me reading these comments, cause I looked like a giddy little bitch LOL.