Ok y’all…I have a lot of stuff on my mind…but since I promised the second part of the Russia story, here ‘goes…
First of all, since I was the only black male on the trip, and the only male traveling from my school, period, I kind of had to be mindful of my behavior out there. I was the only African American person most of these Russians had ever seen in real life. So because of this, I was somewhat forced into becoming the unofficial “Ambassador Of All Black People” while I was out there. We had two question and answer sessions to educate folks about American life. Guess what almost every one of my questions were about?
If you guessed anything other than race, then you probably should just stop reading right now. Slow people don’t need to be on the internet.
But back to the Q&A sessions. They asked me shit like “Do they spray you all with water hoses or attack you with dogs?” or “Do you know Coolio? What about M.C. Hammer?”
So yeah, I had to actually address shit like this without being a jackass and hurting anyone’s feelings. The ONLY images of black people they had ever seen were the sterotypical representaions you see on television and in the movies. So I felt that I couldn’t be the “Angry Black Man”, the “Lazy Shiftless Bastard”, the “Oversexed Black Coon” or the “Loud Obnoxious Con Artist Nigga.” It was bad enough that I made them believe that all black guys could play ball earlier in the gym…I had to make up for it as far as with the other stereotypes.
One question from the Q&A actually got some chick in trouble. She asked me “Do you have any children” to which I responded “NOOOOOOO”. So she then stands up again, grabs her chest, and says “Do you want any?” The teacher from my school was hating and making jokes about that the rest of the week, but I was rather flattered by the outright sluttery displayed by this Russian lady. It’s a good example for all women everywhere who hope to someday approach me and start conversation ;)
The other story is actually two condensed into one. It was the day after we’d left Kaliningrad to go back to Moscow. As we were getting ready to board a train for St Petersburg, a group of skinheads came over. One of them grabbed my teacher and said “Yankee go home!” So I hear this and turn around to get a look at who said it. As I turned in their direction, this bitch ass frail looking skinhead pointed at me and said “LOOK! NIGGER!” It was as if he’d never had an actual chance to call someone this before. He seemed almost happy to see my black ass. So I was faced with two options: Option 1, take the bottle I had in my hand and crack it over his skull, or Option 2, walk away.
I was kind of angry, but a few thoughts ran through my mind really quickly. The first thought was that even though the skinhead who actually called me the N-word was small, the other three were kinda big. The biggest one looked just like that old school wrestler King Kong Bundy. He was THAT big. I know none of those punk asses from the other US schools would have had my back if I got in a fight with that guy. The second thought that ran through my mind was the image of the hospital in Kaliningrad. Picture the front of Fred and Lamont’s house on Sanford and Son, only with containers of medical junk outstide…That’s what it looked like. If you end up there, you’re pretty much a goner. The last thought I had was that if a Russian hospital looked like that, I can’t even imagine what a Russian jail looks like. I’ll be damned if I end up in one of those.
So I decided to walk away and just be a nigger that day. The train police chased the skinheads away pretty quickly, so it was the right move.
The funny thing was, once I got on the train…still filled with Angry Black Man rage, I ran into some other African Americans…and not just any African Americans, but the Preservation Hall Jazz Band based out of New Orleans. They were just as happy to see another black face as I was. Very cool folks. Once we got to St Petersburg, they took me to a Georgian resturant(for free), then gave me front row tickets and a backstage pass for their show that night. I almost even got some Russian groupie ass since folks thought I was in the band, but the groupies decided they wanted the white guy who played the bass…go figure. Either way, that was definitely a fun experience. If the Preservation Hall Jazz Band is ever in your town, I recommend checking them out. GREAT music, played by a bunch of cool people.
Alright y’all…That’s enough Russia stories for you. I actually do have more, but I would be typing all night long and you’d probably get sick of reading it all. I guess if you have any questions about the trip, feel free to ask me…Either in the comments section, or if you know me in person, go ahead and ask next time you see me.
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So then it is true that Leon IS an internationaly man of Pimpery!
Not pimpery…I prefer the term “Gentleman of Leisure”
LOL
Gentlemen of Leisure, huh? lol
right move with the skin heads.. just looking to catch a nigga in a beat down …… then what story would you have for me to enjoy reading? none.
I often wonder about the protocol that goes with beating someones ass around the world.
*singin*
don’t always think I’m trying tah get in ya pants…..
the fancy cars, the women and the caviar…. u know who we are… cuz we’re pimpin all ova the world!!!!!
Very appropriate title for you Mr. Hustleman!!! :)
LMAO… You are out of control. While I lurked for a few posts, this is my first comment since your infamous comment that was forwarded to me through 7,0898098908 emails. LOL I was never upset… just a wee bit horrified and majorly embarrassed, but now I’m back. Didja miss me? LOL
This story was very amusing. As was the pussy story. LOL My cat was like that. There was just a line he would draw where, he’d just had enough stroking. LOL ENOUGH I SAY!!!! and he would let you know when that was in no uncertain terms. LOL =)
no questions just giggles.
LMAO! Dude I’m in Eastern Europe now and I have to say the stares are something else. I’ve been traveling in this part of the world for work for almost 5 years and you’d be amazed that most of them have never met or a black person before. I’ll have to blog about the stares and the double takes pheww.
I’m glad u represented us black folk in a good way. More students of Pimpery,. . er. . Gentlemen of Leisure that is, should take lessons from you.
WOW.. well i definitely commend you on taking the higher ground.. it can be HARD… VERY HARD at times.
I can unfortunately relate only too well when it came to the Q&A… heck I experienced it in the US of A! I moved to Boulder, Colorado from Los Angeles during my high school years and wow it was definitely culture shock. After the obligatory introduction I would have kids ask me questions like “Have you ever shot someone?” “Have you ever been stabbed” “You been in a drive by” “Are you in a gang” “What are gang bangers realllyyy like” and even had this one white boi (before Eminem hit the spotlight) always come up to me to spit and tell me that he was coo w/ Dre & Snoop… yeah… sometimes.. it got hard to turn the other cheek and not be the Angry Black …I was turned into the Posterchild for Black Urban Youth like you seemed to have been… and i’m not even fully Black! LOL.
If you wouldn’t mind I’d love to trade IMs or Emails… see I’m moving to the UK for school for a year and have been interested in the minority experience overseas. So I think you’d be another wealth of information.
Thank you,
Autumn Y.
No problem Autumn. You can reach me at HustlemanL77@yahoo.com, or at BadNewsBrown77@aol.com
Sorry that I’m just getting this. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail cause I’d be happy to help you get ready for your experience abroad. I even have a friend who just got back from studying in England this past yer, so she may be able to give you some advice, too. She loved it over there.
yo i like how u took care of em skinheads thanx 4 not representin da bad side of us blacks nd i neva knew da ppl ova seas viewed us like dat