I have a question of ettiquite for you all in cyberspace to help me with. Please give me some feedback if possible
Actually, I have a question to ask before I even get to my intended question. That is, how do you spell ettiquite? My spelling doesn’t seem to look right at all. If not, please forgive my transgression. If you can’t forgive me, then lick my balls after a hot summer day in no air conditioning.
Now, the actual question at hand…How do you respond to folks that are just incapable of taking a compliment or appreciating nice treatment? Like say for instance, you’re walking with a lady, and you walk ahead of her to hold the door, and she replies “You probably just did that so you could take a look at my ass.”
My response was, “I wasn’t even thinking about that. I was just being chivalrous. Besides, I already know what your ass looks like in clothes. It’s not worth all that extra effort. If you were walking through the door naked, that would be another story. But nah. I’ve seen your covered ass before.”
Somehow, I think the nobility of my deed was lost after I said that. Let’s try another example. Suppose you tell a woman she’s pretty, and she says “You probably say that to all the girls.” How should you respond to that?
I have two ways, depending on my mood. If I am really trying to get to know this woman better, I’m going to most likely say something like “I don’t say that to all the girls…just the pretty ones like you.”
Now, if I sense anything other than playfulness in the way this is said, I might end up responding with “What the Hell are you trying to say?!?! You think I just throw out compliments to any piece of ass that walks by? What type of nasty bastard do you think I am? I have standards, dammit. Learn how to take a compliment, shit.”
So yeah…what do you do when you encounter someone like this? Like the type of person who criticizes gifts? Or the type that doesn’t say thank you after you go out of your way to do something nice for them?
That actually reminds me of something someone said on Comic View that I have found to be very true. When you’re driving in moderate to heavy traffic, and you decide to let someone over in your lane, doesn’t it make you mad when the person that you let over doesn’t give you that little wave, acknowledging what you just did for them? I don’t know about you all, but the first thought that runs though my mind is “THAT UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!” That shit makes you not want to let anyone else over ever again in life.
So yeah, how do you all respond to the obnoxious? The low self-esteemed? The ungrateful? The smart-assed?
I’m looking for alternatives, since I tend to either make fun of them on the spot, treat them as if they are dead to me, or swear an oath of vengeance, depending on the situation and my mood. Hopefully you all can be of assistance. I’m definitely making an effort to be a kinder, gentler Hustleman for the rest of the year. We’ll see if it works :)
Tweet
Hey dude, I like your blog and I especially feel you on this subject. I’ve had way too many moments/encounters like these where I do something nice for someone and they don’t respond at all, accuse me of something or complain. That opening the door scene really hits home but one time I got a little revenge in that I had two opportunities to open the door for the same lady. The first door opened, she responded sarcastically and questioned my motive. The second door came up, I smiled, opened it halfway and then closed it while making up an excuse that I left my keys in the car and had to go back for them. She just looked at me with a frown.
I’ve experienced way too many moments of ungrateful responses but I gotta tell you, when that moment comes and someone gives me mad props for doing something thoughtful, you can best believe that I’ll do it again and again for that person when the spirit moves me.. It’s all about just being you and reacting honestly according to how you feel at that moment. I would say that your etiquette is just fine… Peace, Anthony *
I think sometimes women act like that becuase they are not used to anyone saying nice things to them. So…It would be nice for you to respond. Just trying to make your day, Just telling the truth, Just doing my good deed for the day. Something like that – truthful so it doesn’t sound like a line. Then walk away if that don’t work – slam the door in thier face, or tell them although you look good in todays out fit, yesterday you looked like a lady in a Goodwill advertisement. Hey! Some people just don’t know how to take a compliment. I wouldn’t go out of my way to please them. You don’t want to mess with a chick hateful like that anyways. That’s just my 2 cents.
* Now, do you get upset when you compliment a lady – hair looks good, something like that and she says “I know, thanks” and keeps on rolling? :)
Holla!
If you can’t forgive me, then lick my balls after a hot summer day in no air conditioning.
LMAO… uhhh… NO!
compliments: If someone doesn’t say thank you… fuck ‘em! Sometimes u have to tell someone to TAKE THE DAMN COMPLIMENT!
As far as the beeahtch and the door… I woulda let it hit her. We smart women that understand men… shoot… look at MY ass… lemme know you appreciate it! Whether we dating, fuckin, friends, or wateva! Just look at it damnit! heehee
smart azzez: you already know what to do… be one back! Talk as much shit as possible till you shutthemthefukup!
Low self-esteemed: don’t bother… they need therapy
You say that to all the girls: Man.. if she says it… she thinks it’s true… no way of getting around this one… so if you do… be honest and tell her! If she gets mad… tell her… you shouldn’t ask questions you DON’T want the answers too… you already knew the answer anyway! LOL
I’m so mean… but blunt!
Remember… a woman will ALWAYS appreciate a man more if he’s upfront with her
Mrs. TJ is right. Some women don’t know how to accept compliments or complimentary actions. Many are so used to people plotting on them or doing them wrong, that when someone is genuinely nice to them, they don’t know how to take it.
It can also have to do with the way women view you. When someone compliments me -also “depending on the mood” I take a look at who its coming from and make my own conclusion, like “aww here we go, i seen this dude before…he’s just tryna hit”. but i completely agree with Mrs A haha, take a long nice stare, thats what i dress up for in the morning!
Mrs.TJ jas it right. Some broads areso used to being disrespected, they can’t fathom a man saying anything nice to them, let alone doing something nice for them. Keep doing what you’re doing. However she responds, you respond with the same tone.
but Leon… what if these people know you…
It’s etiquette.
I think you should just let them be their non-compliment taking selves. Just do what you do, and they’ll just have to go through life with their own negative outlook. But you never know how many people you make smile after a rough morning when you give a simple compliment or you open a door like a man should, so don’t stop. And besides, the smart comments after they something out the way will give them something to think about. :)
If someone snaps at you (in a non-playful way) for opening a door this is what you should do: the next door you encounter, you go through first and let the door slam behind you.
I am a young female who opens doors for men and women, young and old. I just think it is polite. Usually people thank me. As long as they acknowlege my deed, we’re cool. If they walk through like I’m sort of doorman as if they were ENTITLED to my opening the door for them, I usually have to comment: “don’t mention it…you’re welcome…thank you for allowing me to serve you…” or something like that.
I have a long-time friend who seems to find fault with most of the presents I (and others) give to her. She has actually had the nerve to hand presents BACK to me saying they weren’t her taste or that I should give them to someone who would actually like them.
***screech***
WTF? That is one of the most rude, uncouth things a person could do. This habit of hers has led to the loss of her well-off live-in boyfriend as well as any hope of EVER receiving anymore presents from me. Some people don’t appreciate nice gestures even if they receive them all the time.
women only do this to get a compliment. my advice is to stop doing nice things for people outside of your family. becoming a selfish bastard will make your day go a lot smoother & you may even find that more women are attracted to your behavior – you know, the masochistic, freaky, i-like-pain types. reserve the door-holding & compliment-giving for the pregnant & the elderly.
I agree with Var. Continue doing nice things for the people who appreciate it. Those who don’t…let the door close on their ass, literally.
dude…it’s funny…I acutally think you make the appropriate comments. That being said, I think I may need to go and see my therapist about some anger-management! Great post. Excelsior!!!
I read this with the intent to comment…but was at a loss for words..I guess I just expect all that good stuff…I mean I was born during women’s lib…but i didn’t cosign. As far as insecurity?.*checkin* Sorry…don’t have none.. LOL.. can’t answer that either..
*smh* I’m useless on this blog…
I say do like Aunt Esther did when she was the Jehovah’s Witness on Friday……”WELL, FUUUUCK YOUUUU!!!! LOL!!!! How ya been?
Etiquette !
Etiquette !
LMAO!
Damn this is a tough one ’cause I can’t take a compliment for shit. If it’s a white dude I usually bust out laughing. Everbody else barely registers in my awarness so I don’t realize they said anything (I LOVE MY IPOD – keeps me from acknowledging ignance). But if a dude simply compliments without out saying something asenine like “what eva ya man won’t do I will” or “damn shorty, I’d tear your shit up” I just say thank you.
As for how you should respond to women who are agrestic hmmmmm…. I say slap ‘em. Hard. Ok, ok. Shake the shit out of them while yelling “I was trying to be nice you silly bitch.” It might not be right but something about shaking the shit out of someone can make you feel reeeeeeeeeal good (slappin’s better tho’).
….I’m not sure if I’m joking or not, so I’ll get back to you….
Compliments or acts of chivalry should always be graciously accepted, regardless of what is felt to be the true intention. To not do this makes the intended receiver appear ungrateful and immature.