I’m about to share a little life experience with you all, so let me know if anybody can relate to this here. I’m going to tell you all what it was like growing up in a neighborhood that has a crazy person in it.
My guess is, most people that weren’t privelaged to live in some kind of rich gated community, probably had at least one, maybe two, crazy people living in their neighborhood. Hell, some of the folks in gated communities had crazy neighbors, too. They just call crazy people “eccentric” when they’re rich.
Well, growing up, there were a number of people in my neighborhood who fit the desription of crazy, such as a few drug addicts and messed up Vietnam vets, but there was one guy who literally struck fear in everybody that walked past his part of the neighborhood. This guy’s name was Dean. When we were kids, everybody in school was scared shitless of Dean. He was about 6 feet tall, slim, really darkskinned, but he had some of the scariest eyes this side of Satan. I never saw them any color other than yellow or bloodshot red. Dean wasn’t some big muscle bound extra strong dude, but everyone feared him because you could look at him and know that brother was CRAZY. What really made his scary is you never knew what to expect when you saw him. Plus, sometimes he would show up out of nowhere like some kind of crunchy-black ass evil nigga demon from the 5th level of Hell. Just wreaking havoc and whatnot.
There were so many urban legends floating around about that guy, you never knew what to believe. It’s said that he shot a kid before and did prison time, which may or may not be true cause he was about 30 years old when us school kids used to see him wandering around the neighborhood like the Ghost of Christma..I mean, The Ghost of COCAINE Past. Another story was that he always carried this big ass knife with him. I don’t know if he ALWAYS had it on him, but I once saw him with some Crocodile Dundee shit on his waist at the 7-11 getting a slurpee. Tell me a sane reason to carry a Crocodile Dundee knife on your side when you’re getting a slurpee from the 7-11 about a block and a half from your house, and I will leave it alone…but right now it adds up as INSANITY to me. Another story I heard was that he would have sex with anybody or anything, depending on his mood. I wasn’t about to find out if that one was true.
All I know is, if you happened to be in that 7-11 whenever Dean walked in, that shit got quiet in a hurry. Folks would start ducking in the aisles talking about “Oh shit! it’s Dean!” Nobody wanted to get shot, stabbed, robbed, or raped out back behind the 7-11, so we gave that evil-looking wierdo the utmost respect. Sometimes’s he’d nod and say “Hello”…others, he’d be like “Fuck you little motherfuckers.” Regardless of what was said, he always had the same evil expression on his face. That nigga was harder than NWA Jheri Curl Ice Cube.
The funny thing is, folks would talk shit after he left, and someone would always be like “You ain’t say all that shit when Dean was in here!”
And you know what? That person would be right. It was library silence when that dude came around. The boldest kids would get up the nerve to yell out something like “Fuck you Dean!” or “You crazy bitch!” out of the moving school bus window as it was driving off. Even then, that person and everyone sitting near him would duck down in the seat so Dean wouldn’t see who did it and wait at the bus stop after school.
DC has it’s share of crazies, but I still have yet to see anybody that feared dor just being crazy. It’s different in a place like DC, though. That fool Dean would have probably gotten shot by one of those kids he terrorized at some point had he been in the District. The only memorable crazy person I see all throughout the city(mostly in Anacostia or Columbia Heights) is the one guy who always walks around in a fireman’s hat and yells obscenities at people walking by. The secret to him is to not look scared. Most women and old people speed up their walk or try to cross the street to avoid him. His secret was revealed one day when this 19 year old El Salvadorian man got really angry and ran up on him. The guy in the fireman’s hat took off up the street looking back to make sure he wasn’t being chased. From then on, I realized that he could dish it out, but he can’t take it. Plus, he’s not THAT crazy. Ol’ boy probably thought the young guy was a member of MS-13 or something.
Either way, if you can relate to these stories about the crazy fool in your neighborhood, please share in the comments section.
Also, if you know Dean(since I know one of my readers grew up near that man’s street), and if the rumors of his demise aren’t true, don’t tell him I wrote about him. I’m a grown man now, so I think I might can take him if he tries something…but still. I don’t want to walk in the 7-11 one day and get stabbed with a Crocodile Dundee knife by some old-ass red eyed nigga just for something I typed here. If you love me, you’ll keep Dean from seeing this.
Once again, not that I’m scared…Cause I ain’t no damn punk.
mmhhmmm…
OK SMOKEY…
When he’s around.. I be quiet… but when he’s gone… I’ll be talking again!
LMFAO
fyi… MOST OF these fools get a rise out of scaring people. I work with ‘em day in and out. Best thing to do, ALWAYS, is to show you aren’t scared! Not saying to raise ya ‘guns’ and go at it… but don’t jump or LOOK scared! LOL
There was this guy named Rabbit (never knew his real name) who wasn’t even from our neighborhood, but he used to ride his bike to our neighborhood 3 days out of a week.
I’m thinking that he must have been some Vietnam vet because he’d wear an Army fatigue jacket even if it was 105ยบ outside.
It was rumored that Rabbit molested both girls and boys, but we’d never seen him even attempt to do anything like that. But one day we saw him run after a group of boys (who were probably taunting him), so that fueled the rumor.
After that incident, whenever we saw Rabbit, kids in our neighborhood would run and hide like the Jehovah Witness were at your front door with Watchtowers in hand.
There was this guy everyone assumed was homeless who hung out at the corner and at the subway stop a block away from my house. I grew up seeing him hanging around, talking crazy and just generally looking looney. I just stayed clear of him whenever he was around. When I graduated from college and moved back home I heard that he was actually mentally ill, lived in an apartment across from the subway stop and was eventually hit by a car while crossing the street and died.
FUNKY MARVIN…or more like Pissy Drunk Marvin. He always told the neighborhood kids that he was drinking Kool-Aid. We avoided Kool-Aid all summer so we wouldn’t end up like Funky Marvin.
SMILEY…I would say he is a neighborhood guy – but you will see this man ANYWHERE in the city. All he does is stand on the corners of major intersections and SMILES AND WAVES!!!! ALL DAY YA’LL! Crazy for no reason. He will be walking down the street doing this, at the mall, in a grocery store. And obviously someone got this man a bus pass cuz ol boy got around. HA! We was scared of him…he had to be a molestor right???What guy do you know that smiles all day?
Whatever! That was our reasoning.
Holla!
I remember there used to be rumors about “The Bunny Man” who liked to get intimate with little boys asses.
A modern day one would be Face…a poet in D.C. I don’t know what happened to him but I do know that cats were scared of him.
Oh yeeh, I forgot about this other crazy guy that used to always be at the basketball court stankin up the spot. Of couse, his name also happened to be Leon. He’s harmless, though. That guy is happy just walking around town dribbling his basketball. That’s all he needs LOL.
One of the most memorable “crazy guys” from my neighborhood is this guy (whose name I never knew) who hung out around Georgia Avenue and Kennedy Street. He had a boom box and he would just stand on the corner dancing. He’d be out there dancing for HOURS! And sometimes he would wear costumes. Superman costumes, batman costumes…I even think I remember him in a bunny costume. No one was afraid of this guy though…he just liked to stand out on the corner and put on a show. If you applauded him he would dance even harder! :-)
MAN… that dude in the fireman’s hat is CRAZY.
One day I was walking with a friend and he yelled some craziness at us both. Of course, I shot hima dirty look and he booked it. But still…
That cat is literally insane… why is he out on the streets?
DC ALWAYS has crazies on the streets. There was this woman who lived AT the G-2 bus stop at Dupont Circle with perhaps 20 other people. We usually saw her cursing at people and flashing her goodies (baddies?) at police cars. One day I was waiting on the bus with my roommate when we saw the woman walking down the sidewalk. We carried on as usual, minding our own business. As she passed me, she punched me in the chest so hard that I flew back and smashed against the plexi. She knocked the wind out of me; it took me 5 minutes to catch my breath. After she punched me, she just kept walking like nothing had happened!
I have another story about a former neighbor of mine who was both a sheriff AND a Viet Nam vet. You know that made for a lethal combination, but I’ll save it for my soon-to-debut blog.
when I lived with my mom there was this man aka crazy….he would walk around the area carring a giant size tennis racket…no shit I don’t even know where the hell he got it but the shit was bigger than him!!!!!! He would wear layers and layers of clothes in the hot ass weather and go to the tennis courts with that big ass tennis racket! LOL
LMFAOOOO @ dude with the firemans hat!!! I can’t stand his ass!!!
LMFAOOO @ dude in the fireman’s hat…..I cant stand his ass!!!
LMAO….i remember this crazy ass named…ummm, i think it was LEON….lol
actually it was mr. coscarilla….he’d come out of his house with a broom if you walked on the damn sidewalk in front of his house…THE DAMN SIDEWALK!!! everyone, grown-ups included had to walk in the street just to get down the block…….he use to put yellow tape up…like a crime scene…now where the hell did he get THAT from?!?
LOL
Well, I’m still scared of the crazy black lady who did stuff with voodoo on my block, so I’ll leave her out of this, but where I go to school there’s this one cat that likes to walk up and down the main downtown street dressed up in all pink, taking about two steps every five minutes and twirling an opened pink umbrella high in his hands: rain or shine.
And all this dude does is smile at you like he knows where you peed last night while walking up and down the streets. Cars stop for him, bikes ride past him, people part like the Red Sea around him. Now, I’m fine with all that, as long as he doesn’t bother me, but for Halloween, a couple of university guys dressed up like him and walked with him all night long. That’s crazy like, don’t they have better things to do with their time?
Peace!
cocaines a helluva drug! lol @ the ghost of cocaine past.
my crazy guy story is a little sad…ever since i lived in annapolis there was this guy named buckwheat and when you saw him he was always walking really fast and hard like he was on a mission. and he always had a trashbag with him. anyway he was scary looking and looked very unkempt but legend has it that someone hated on him at a party and poisoned him and he hasn’t been right since. hence the reason he walks around and acts like he does. thats my story.
bye.! (im not a very good story teller am i…. oh well)
OMG u are truly touched!!!
*ctfu*
I Don’t recall any crazy people in my younger days.. just the old lady who always wanted to give us those hard blue balls of candy (hahah blue balls of candy…didnt appreciate them then but i do now).
Those things would always have lint on them and were never wrapped. Then she’d stand over us to make sure we put them in our mouths.. our dumbasses didn’t know any better.. we should have said no thanks and ran- we didnt.
we sucked on those damn things til she left (early lessons on suckin til completion LOL).
Now i swear no matter where i go, i always end up in close proximity with some crazy person who is either scratching too much, talking too much, drinking too much, or seeing waaaaaaaaay more people than that are really there.
I remember Dean….he used to foam at the mouth and he always wore an adidas jacket with the three stripe sleeves. He used to chase everybody. I heard that he died though. So I think your safe.
Whoa, I never had any crazies in my neighborhood. He sounds like the black version of boo from Kill a Mockinbird.. I enjoy your site and I will come back to vist real soon..
Man, there must be a disproportionate amount of crazies where I live, because I can think of way more than one.
I know a guy named Caveman Bill. I met him in a scummy part of East Vancouver (hookers knocking on his window, needles on the sidewalk) where he had a tiny apartment. My hippy boyfriend and I told him he’d like the Yukon where we were working for the summer. He moved up a few days later, found a cave and moved into it. He pays the City of Dawson $1 a year rent. The cave hangs over a river bank, so Bill has about 2 feet of “front yard” before he falls into the Klondike, and on that 2 feet he’s grown a garden and keeps chicken. He put insulation in the cave and carpeted the ground. He’s been featured on all kinds of shows, including one called Life’s Weird Homes.
I guess this doesn’t sound as crazy as the others, but trust me, he’s fucking crazy. A few drinks and he starts staring at woman like a lion in a pit of meat. Then he starts talking to himself, loudly, while he stares, and sometimes he flips out and starts screaming. His curly hair has grown long since we met, he has the nastiest beard I’ve ever seen and he dresses like a scarecrow. Did I mention that he lives in a cave? I don’t know if anyone here has ever been through a Yukon winter, but trust me, it is about as cold as it gets there in the winter.
@ Katie, Captain Caveman from your comment IS crazy…LOL
Oh yeah…just for everyone’s public knowledge: I WAS INFORMED THAT DEAN IS STILL ALIVE. SO IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME, EITHER ALERT THE AUTHORITIES TO THIS BOLG ENTRY, OR GO SHOOT THAT MOTHERFUCKER. WHICHEVER YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE DOING…LOL
OK…DON”T SHOOT HIM…JUST HOLD HIM DOWN AND SLAP HIM AROUND UNTIL HE TELLS YOU MY WHERABOUTS AND IF I’M STILL ALIVE.
THANKS :)
when i was little there was a crazy lady on my street…she stood on her front lawn and yelled in russian, and one time she came to our back sliding doors in the middle of the night and accused my dad of telling the fbi about her…i think she killed her dog too. like she left it out all winter with no food. she was crazy.
yanno what…I’mma just start recording crazy shit in the A and just let u see this shit down here…I’ll win hands down.
If you think that’s scary, try dealing with one of those crazy mofos having a crush on you. Maybe I’ll get one of those MS-13 kids to scare ‘em off for me. Thanks, Leon!
There was a 2 girls in high school who were sisters, looked like twins, but were like 1-2 years apart. They terrorized folks since elementary because they were just huge and kinda slow, but no one had ever fought them, no one dared. They were biggggggggggg girls. Finally my junior year the sisters (ever see the Gross Sisters on “The Proud Family? that’s them, or imagine 2 female Deebos) decided to pick on a seemingly harmless girl, who was probably right at the cut off point from being a little person. Mistake, that little girl whooped BOTH of those overgrown crazies, the girls got suspended and never came back to school, I think they dropped out…. we were scared all those years for naught.
I remember crazy ass Dean. He used to scare the shit out of us. I will never forget that day he chased (or so we thought) me, Shefon, and Shakeya. And we were on bikes! We are hauling ass trying to get back on Airport Ave. LOL
@ Tiffanye, I remember y’all lived right over there on the same side as Dean in New Section!
@ Naturally Alise, that’s HILARIOUS!!!
@ Leon..Dean lived on Frazier St. But do you rememeber Chris? He was crazy too but not EVEN on Dean’s level. He lived on Harris St. He had long, wild ass hair, a moustache; he looked Hispanic. My grandaddy knew his dad and he would bum cigarettes from my Grandaddy so I was free to roam on Harris St. I think Chris was one of those Post-War crazies. I saw him last weekend and my Grandmother said he was “off” again. LOL