Prince Vs. Morris Day
Posted by ListenToLeon on
October 6, 2005
Someone asked me a question before, and I thought I’d put it up here for all you “Yeah…I Said It” readers to decide. That question is, who would win in a fight: Prince or Morris Day? Both are diminutive, effiminate musicians with enormous talent parallelled only by their enormous egos. Usually, I wouldn’t want to watch a grown man sissyfight like this, but the passion that these two men bring to making music leads me to believe it would be a good fight. If nothing else, it would be funny to hear the assorted squeals, yells, shrieks, and cries of “JEROME!” that would happen thoughout the course of events. This battle of the only two black men living in Minnesota not named Kirby Puckett or Kevin Garnett should be one for the ages. Don King, you better cut me a check if you can make this happen.
Now, the tale of the tape:
Prince Rogers Nelson
The Pros:
- Very energetic performer with way more musical talent that Morris Day.
- Wrote one of the most infulentual music films ever in Purple Rain, along with selling an assload of records.
- Looks very frail and bitchy, yet women love him.
-Not only does he pull hot chicks, Prince makes his hoes FAMOUS. Prince’s list women whose careers he jump started after banging them is stellar: Vanity, Appolonia, Mayte(the Puerto Rican one who started messing with Tommy Lee after him), Carmen Electra…the list goes on and on.
- He can play something like 8 instruments, and has a ridiculous vault of unused music at his Minneaoplis home. This means when he dies, the man will put out more posthumous music than Tupac.
- Also, his perm is slightly better maintained than Morris Day’s.
The Cons:
- Look at the way he dresses. Who’s scared of a man in mascara? I mean, seriously. The brother wears lace, ruffles and heels.
- Sounds VERY weak when he curses at folks in anger, talking ’bout “WHERE ARE YOU! ANSWER ME MOTHERFUCKER!”
- Also, I do not know if Prince can trust his band to have his back. I got “The Time” beating the shit out of “The Revolution”. Wendy and Lisa seem like the only ones out that group with enough heart to fight. Maybe the guy in the surgeon’s mask might pull out a scapel and cut a motherfucker or something…but The Time would whup them tricks, as well as The New Power Generation.
Morris Day
The Pros:
- Always tries to steal Prince’s bitches, which shows that he has no fear of the man.
- An innovator, he was the first black man to walk around with a manservant(Jerome, the brother next to Morris in the photo above). Farnesworth Bentley owes his gimmick to Morris Day and The Time.
- Morris dresses, walks and talks like a pimp, so maybe he can fight like one, too.
- A world class shit talker, Morris can say lines ranging from “Jerome! Where’s my mirror” to “YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YA LONG-HAIRED FAGGOT!” and have both ellicit laughter from the audience.
The Cons:
- Morris is TOO clean. He may cry is someone scratches his face or messes up his mink coat.
- Always played the nemisis in all of the films. He may have an inferiourity complex after all these years.
- Never a safe bet to put money on a tiny black man with a perm in a fight. Entertainment is one thing, but fighting is quite different.
- Morris got the leftover non-famous hoes. You NEVER heard of Morris Day fucking any famous women.
- Spent a little TOO MUCH time with Jerome.
My prediction: Prince wins with a 4th round TKO. I can’t see Morris lasting until the later rounds. There’s a reason why Prince is more famous than Morris Day. Besides him being immensely talented, I have a feeling that Prince has a mean streak that not many know about.
I may be a little biased, though. I personally owe my first sexual experience ever to the scene in Purple rain where “The Kid” tells Appolonia to “Purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.” I rewinded that shit on the VHS tape over and over again…and that’s how I discovered that it feels good when things touch my penis when it’s hard….But that has nothing to do with the fight, so let’s keep things moving.
Prince in Round 4 by TKO. You heard it here first.
18 Responses to “Prince Vs. Morris Day”
AND to add to the fact that Morris is too clean, Prince ain’t afraid to roll around on the floor with his guitar during a concert. Money says that he ain’t afraid to roll around on the floor with Morris.
Prince can ride a motorbike, but Morris, chaffeured in a limo. Nuff said, lol.
And Prince could take off one of those high-heeled shoes and jack Morris’ fo’head up as if he were a thief in the temple.
And if you recall (showing too much Prince love here), Jerome switched sides in “Under the Cherry Moon” and was Prince’s sidekick in the absence of Morris. So, if Morris has a switch-hitter like THAT on his team, there’s no telling if Prince could get Jerome to “Farnsworth Bentley” him during the fight. Ya know?
Aiight, I’m through.
By Diggs on Oct 6, 2005
Prince is the MAN… Yes he’s the size of an Umopah Lumpah – yes he wears heels taller than any I could come up with, but I think he’d baby powder backhand Morris and win it like Tyson circa 92, before Robin messed up his mojo… First round – don’t blink or get up for popcorn or get that on pay per view cause its over before you know it…
By Queue on Oct 6, 2005
It’s about to be a–what?–girlfight!
You’re right. Prince would win b/c Morris would be waay to afraid to get his pretty little freckled face bruised or scratched up. Prince, on the other hand, would just put on a little bit more powder and lip gloss and comb his hair down over his jacked up cheek.
ROTFL@you and the lake scene.
By Hypmommy on Oct 6, 2005
i can’t even comment…
i just cant…
cause i am laughing too hard at this post.
By Jersey Girl on Oct 6, 2005
You’re crazy. Lol.
Morris would win b/c Prince is like one foot over Gary Coleman. Remember: Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis were part of The Time, so they would have Morris Day’s back and stomp Prince like he was a well dressed albino roach in purple heels.
By q.B on Oct 6, 2005
lmfao!
only you!
“Purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.” Why was this said to me over last weekend? And WHY did I laff my coochie (cuz I don’t have balls, you men get all the phrases!) off at this comment?
*ahem*
I got Prince. If anything, he’d walk away singing, “I just hit that bitch with my boot heel (instead of bottle)”! Man… Prince is the muthafukkin man! He gonna ALWAYS reign in ANY, and I do mean ANY, ring!
BTW… I’m thinking about what it is that feels good touching your penis when it’s hard… hmmm… *wink*
By Miss A on Oct 7, 2005
I don’t think it would ever come to throwing blows. I imagine some shyt talking, histrionics, and then one or both of them exiting the ring in a huff!
By Kajuana on Oct 7, 2005
I’ll put my money on Prince… Never cared for Morris…
Great post Hustleman funny as usual
By VAN007 on Oct 7, 2005
I put my money on Prince. Prince was All City and All State in b-ball when he was in high school. Any brotha that can ball like that ain’t soft. He’ll stomp a mudhole, uh lemme take that back, a mudheel (pumps) in Morris’ ass.
By Nikki on Oct 7, 2005
LMAO @ how you creatively found a way to talk about your “johnson” in this post.
By MsThing on Oct 7, 2005
A fight between Morris Day and Prince? Nahhhhh…it would never happen. They are just too purty for that shit. LOL! They’d “compete” in a fashion contest maybe, but not a damn fight! And Prince would win…he may look like a scrawny lil’ mofo, but I think he could jack up Morris Day on his WORST day…
By Miss Rei on Oct 7, 2005
Oh my God, Leon! I am over here laughing like I’m at the comedy club at this post. Thank you for making my night with this madness.
By Butta on Oct 8, 2005
Great stuff. I think Morris would win the fight though. I know it would be close, but I think Morris has nothing to lose, thus causing him to go into the fight with wreckless abandon. All those years of Prince’s left overs will compound the issue and draw more anger from Mr. Day. I could be alone in this.
By J-Bigg on Oct 8, 2005
just happened across your blog – funny stuff!!
let’s not forget charlie murphy said on dave chappelle’s show that prince whupped his ass in b-ball WHILE dressed in lace and heels.
my vote’s for prince!
By AngieMD2007 on Oct 10, 2005
I am with Ms Rei… I think they would have to solve their dispute in a runway contest like in Zoolander… now THAT would be some funny azz shyt… lol
If it did come to blows tho… I am torn. Prince is no taller than a hobbit. But Prince got that fire in him… like he could be CRAZY if provoked. Morris is always too controlled. But then… after years of playing second fiddle, it could all come out in one knock out windmill punch that knocks Prince clear the fukk out.
I say we submit a proposal to Don King… if he isnt down, I say we try the WWF. They would definitely be down.
By prodigalsun on Oct 10, 2005
Too funny! The visual imagery is enough to prevent me from posting an intelligible commentary on this fight…I can’t stop chuckling!
By Safa on Oct 11, 2005
OH MY gOD! You did not have to go there. I’m laughing to hard at work.
By HippieLaLah on Oct 12, 2005
I’m in this office DYING! This was so funny! I’mma put my money on the Purple One…Prince all day long!
By Tiffanye on Jul 4, 2009