Did You Really Just Say That?

by ListenToLeon on 30. Oct, 2005 in Angry, Hampton, Nightclub, Race, Swagger

I just noticed a disturbing trend thanks to my friend Sabrina. It seems to be that every time I hang out in places where folks are drinking, I end up with a funny story afterwards. I think that is God’s way of telling me not to get too drunk. If I do, I may end up being like some of the people I clown on here…

That said, let me tell you all why I titled this entry what I did. I titled it “Did you really just say that?” because I was in the presence of a couple of people that made ignorant statements while drinking around me. The first was Friday night. I stopped by Ozio in DC to meet up with my old mentor Killer and my friend Randy. I ended up seeing some of my friends from Hampton there and a few other folks that I am cool with, as well. When some friends and I left Ozio to go to a salsa spot up the street, this one tall fellow with dreads came along. The guy was complaining about the way these women at the bar kind of carried him when he came over to talk to them. So when my boy gave him his advice on the situation, I told him that he probably should have approached them a little different since they were getting that same shit from a bunch of dudes all night. Apparently, that extra from “Cool Runnings” took offense to my efforts to help him. He said “Oh, ok. I guess you know so much ‘cause you get soooo many women” in a really condescending tone.

I responded like “I’m no expert, but I’ve done alright…especially since I never really had to try.” I really wanted to say “Pretty women don’t like you ‘cause you look like The Predator…Ol’ big head Klingon-looking nigga.” I couldn’t believe the nerve of this dude doubting my ability to have pretty people like me. I think he’s mad cause he’s on the outside looking in as far as the looks thing goes. Not that I’m the shit(ok, some days, I am…but that’s not the point), but I have a thing about people not respecting my gangsta. He tried to carry me before around those same folks, trying to say something smart assed about short people after one of the ladies paid me a compliment. That time, I responded like “Sheeeeit…I’m more than willing to show her that I’m tall enough where it counts. She’ll never fuck with any of y’all tall lanky bastards again after dealing with me.” I had to out-arrogance that bamma like the black Derek Zoolander. I actually felt bad after talking all that shit that first night…but the gloves are off now. I’m clowning the fuck out of that man if he lets any more slick comments come out of his mouth.

The second verbal incident occurred at the Halloween party I went to Saturday. First of all, I had the world’s shittiest costume EVER. I was Kool Moe Dee, but I broke the sunglasses earlier that day, so all I had was the leather pillbox hat. Folks thought I was some kind of angry prison Muslim when I put that thing on. Plus, I really should have spent a few days in the tanning booth if I were going to try to pull off the Moe Dee look.

While at the party, I was sitting on one big couch with three other black folks, and my cousins were sitting at the other with these two white folks, the man dressed as Malibu’s Most Wanted(I hope that shit was a costume), the lady dressed as Twiggy(she got mad when I couldn’t guess her shit. I thought she was Cyndi Lauper. Whothahell is Twiggy any damn way?). Well, Twiggy was describing being at Mardi Gras this past year, and made a comment referring to the locals of New Orleans as “fucking peasants.” I just had a look on my face that said “Awww shit…this is about to get ugly QUICK”
Pretty much everyone else on my couch ripped her a new asshole. I could tell that she was drunk, so I didn’t waste my breath telling her how messed up that comment was. I just wanted to get away. Far, far, away. Luckily, it didn’t escalate much further than a little brief argument and mean looks from one couch to another. I’m just glad I was able to walk away from that couch without witnessing any actual acts of violence. I guess I can sum this up the same way I have a lot of my posts lately…Ah well…f*ck it.