Happy Holidays, folks!
Since I was M.I.A. most of last week, let me go ahead and share some of the stories of this year’s Christmas. I will break them up in chronological order for you all. One story will be omitted, since it is so disturbing that it warrants it’s own separate entry. Be on the lookout for that one later this week.
December 23, 2005
I got off work early, so I decide to finish up the last of my Christmas shopping so that I could relax on Christmas Eve. At least that was the plan…I got MOST of my gifts, but forgot to get the one for Grandma and her husband Lesse. The reason I forgot about my own flesh and blood that evening is because I saw one of the 3 most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life in line at the card store. I mean, she was one of those women that make you do ignorant Hollywood movie stuff like run across a busy intersection just to catch up to her and whatnot. Like she’s really going to want you after that cab knocks you 10 feet in the air and breaks both of your legs…Well, I resisted the urge to chase after her through the mall since she was 4 people in front of me in line and left before I even made it near the register. I did see her as I was leaving, getting in a brand new Mercedes SL convertible. All I know is, if I ever run into the woman on the street again, it’s Pimp or Die. I don’t care if she’s leaving a funeral dressed in black on a rainy day. I’m still hollering.
After losing the beautiful stranger, I went with some friends to my boy Mr. Sunday’s house for a holiday get together. After forgetting that the punch at his parties has so much alcohol that it’s pretty much only legal in Mexico and a few assorted third world countries, I got drunk and talked my usual shit. Once I got home to my bed, I was comatose until around noon the next day.
December 24, 2005
That afternoon, I went to Red Lobster to get my Grandma and Lesse a gift certificate since they love that place for some reason. Once there, I ended up ordering some chicken fingers and chillin with the bartender watching the Redskins whup up on the Giants. After the game, I took a bus into DC and visited my sister to give her the Christmas gift I had for her. She was cooking with her boyfriend’s mom, so I ended up eating again, but the food was good so I didn’t mind stuffing myself a little.
The trip back from her place was quite memorable. While I was waiting for the bus at a corner, this Chevy Caprice pulls up to the red light, but stops a little short, directly across from where I am. The guy driving it looked at me and had this big grin on his face. So I looked back at him like “What the hell are you smiling at?!” and turned my head for a quick second. It was on the second glance that I saw a ass with a skirt hiked up and a thong on in the passenger seat, upper body moving up and down quite rapidly. That’s when I realized why this dude was smiling so hard. I looked back at him ans started laughing. He then nodded and pulled off once the light changed. It warmed my heart to see that someone was having a very Merry Christmas. It made me feel even warmer to know that he wanted to share that gift with the world, so he paraded the thonged out cocksucker in his car all the way up Georgia Avenue on Christmas Eve. Joy to the world!
That evening, I did two things that I had never done before: Go to the club on Christmas Eve, and go to the club with a woman who was not my girlfriend/wifey/main chick/whatever you want to call it. I felt kind of wierd about it, but we were both bored, so we headed on up to H20 since I knew we’d get in free since she’s a regular there. It was somewhat of a swordfight, but as the night went on, more and more ladies came through. I felt bad, because even though the woman I came with said it wasn’t a date, I knew she liked me, so I didn;t feel comfortable asking other women to dance in front of her. She knew about 20 guys in there, so dudes were coming over to dance with her all night. It got to the point where I just felt left out standing there, so I would slip away and flirt with other women or get a drink from the bar when her friends would come over…It was too much work. That’s why I never bring sand to the beach. I didn’t really enjoy myself. Plus, the fact that she kept on saying “I’m really not a club whore” made me start to wonder…Not that I had any thoughts like that before, but the fact that she kept on throwing out the denial without me questioning anything at all…It was like she was trying cover something up that I never even suspected in the first place.
Christmas Day
Spent time with friends, family and loved ones in Fredericksburg, VA. Even forgave Gerald the Waterboy for pissing me off a few weeks ago. It was a great day, and I even got to beat my cousin Jeff’s ass repeatedly at the little Soul Caliber video game that he practices on daily, but I only play once every three months at his house. It’s funny to hear him talk a bunch of shit, then watch him sit there all mad and quite because I beat the brakes off him at his own video game. He hasn’t figured out that fighing games are the only ones I’m good at. If he throws in Madden or one of those shooter games, I’m screwed.
December 26, 2005
Went back to MD and took Grandma with us for the week. That same day, my cell pone’s screen stopped working altogether. This was a blessing in disguise, because I was able to get an upgrade at the T-Mobile store. I now have one of those razr phones and I got it for $50(well, $50 once those bitches send me back my rebate). You know what that means, right?
MORE PHOTOJOURNALISM NOW THAT I HAVE A CAMERA PHONE AGAIN!!!!!11
If you all thought the toupee guy and the drunkard on the streets of Adams Morgan was bad, just wait…I plan on taking things to new higs(or lows) in 2006.
Merry HanuChristmaKwanzaakah!
Glad to hear you had a good holiday.
Good to see that your Christmas went well. Enjoy your Razr. I’ve been enjoying the hell outta mine.
Merry Christmas to you!
Ahhhh Shnookie!
It’s always good to know that peeplez iz in a great mood when I KNOW I’m heading up there in a few dayz!!!!
Glad you had a decent holiday and that you got “some azz”! heehee
And I’m glad the holidays are over. I’m tired of hearing Christmas music and I’m sick of seeing that stupid Happy Kwanchrishanwateva shit. LOL UGH!
Looking forward to living vicariously through you and your Razr!!!!
Smooches!
Well it’s great you had a Merry Xmas leaving. Good luck in 2006
Somebody had a Heady Heady Christmas.
Happy Holidays!
Merry HanuChristmaKwanzaakah!
:) yeah after being a loyal t-mobile fan of 4 years they hooked me up wit the razr too,i absolutely adore my new phone
Tee
sounds like u had fun….
that’s wssup. have a blessed new year!
oH lEON hOW I MISSED u……I got my 1st camera phone too so Im just waiting for hte perfect moment to use it. :) I know its on on New Years…so i guess that means u didn’t get any ass this holiday?
@ Nicky, Dizyaboy, Raven, Edwige and Diamonds, thank you.
@ Nikki and Tee, I LOVE this phone. I can’t stop playing with the damn thing :)
@ Miss A, e-mail me, woman!
@ Marquis, that sight was hilarious. I only wish somebody had been there with me to see it too.
@ Missy, I missed you too. So are you trying to help me with my no-ass-getting self? LOL
merry belated xmas. and oh, don’t sleep on Red Lobster’s cheese biscuits. your grandma has the right idea!
verification word: hohhrem.
HO-Hharem, haha!
*still waiting on the Atl trip… and wondering who I was when we went to the club formerly known as Dream*
Glad your Christmas was great and that you’re feeling better!!!
@ The Kid, I actually liked being with you at the club…despite the fact that I was on good behavior ;)
LOL @ VP’s verification word