First and foremost, let me just say this: Painkillers are pretty damn nice. I see why so many celebrities get hooked on these things. I’m floating around in my chair right now, high as gas prices.
Oh yeah, let me go ahead and get the disclaimer out of the way: Drugs are BAD. They will fuck up your life. And make you die. Then fuck up your death, because folks will remember you as a stankin’ ass trifling drug addict. Then they’ll piss on your grave and hit on your wife before your body even gets a chance to turn cold. Next thing you know, relatives you didn’t even know you had are at the funeral fist-fighing over your iPod and your comic book collection. So please, leave the drugs alone.
The reason I am high is because I hurt myself this weekend. I think someone is sitting in another state with a voodoo doll that looks like me sticking pins in that bitch, because last Saturday was my third hospital trip in a little less than a month. Luckily, things appear to be getting better…Which is why the painkillers the doctor prescribed me for muscle discomfort have me feeling like I am gliding through the air like Superman. I’m just glad I didn’t take more than the prescribed dose, or else I might be outside attempting to leap fat bitches in a single bound, or trying to catch a speeding bullet with my nipple.
You can tell I work with cool folks, though. They knew about my misfortune, but they have been really understanding. I took the pain medicine yesterday right in front of the owner of my company, then sat next to her during a staff meeting. Any other time, I would have at least tried to act alert and aware. Since I had the excuse of being under the influence, I was knocked the fuck out. It was like a DEEP sleep. Mouth open…drool on my shirt, Ariel Sharon-medically-induced-coma type of sleep. For real, I woke up from that nap with a 5 o’clock shadow circa George Michael back when he was singing “Well I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body, I know not everybody, has got a body like you…BAAAAAYYBAY!”
Now I KNOW I’m high. I’m singing “Faith” under my breath here in the office.
Painkillers are great :)
The’re also bad :(
Not as bad as crack :)
but worse than weed :(
Then again, you can’t smell them in your clothes like weed :)
But they can kill you faster and don’t go as well with alcohol :(
Just say no.
Good day, folks.
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I made the mistake of having some wine after I had took some perscription drugs one time…Let’s just say I don’t take perscription drugs anymore and I’m glad people weren’t around.
ok… you and the smileys… stop it please… lol. yes we can see you’re behind is higher than a mofo in half baked..
Dude…..you wakin up singing Faith is the funniest thing ever right this second!
Painkillers are indeed great….but don’t end up like Michael Jackson/Eminem/Brett Favre!!
Be careful!
Damn! I am sorry you keep getting hurt. It is starting to sound like voodoo. At least the drugs (or the accidents) are not inhibiting your sense of humor. :D
Glad you’re feeling better dude but you’re right those painkillers are no joke.
I am so sorry that you keep getting hurt. You may want to invest in a chauffer-driven tank or a full body cast to protect you from the impeding dangers that may happen until you figure out who the the voodoo priest/priestess is. I hope you feel better those painkillers are the bomb so keep taking them.
Drugs are bad…no they are good…no, all bad bad bad….but they feel good…but they are bad for you…in a good kinda way! LMAO
It’s like CoolBreeze is having a debate with himself on whether he should feel good with the drugs or be in pain without them…hmmm, me? I’mma take everything in the cabinet to take away whatever pain I have. Tolerance for bullshit…AND PAIN are L.O.W.
lol
WHich ones they got you on .cuz i got like 30+ VIcodins and they aint do shat for me:) …
Jesus, Leon…The award for most mishaps in a month goes to YOUR ass! Keep your ass at home! Lock your doors, too! *lol*
Hope you feel better soon. And don’t take any more of those pain killers that you don’t have to. The last thing you need to become is a damn crackhead. But I guess if you’re constantly high, you won’t be in pain, right? *lol* Kidding…
Ok let me start off by saying. There is nothing wrong with painkillers as long as you dont starting swinging inside big ass undies like Pee WEE Herman ctfu
Hope you feel better
ooh…that was inspiring.
lol
*come check me out…
smooches!
WOW LOL
Oh goodness! I’m going to pray for you!!! I wish I had read this yesterday. I wouldna called so late. I really thought I was going to get the voicemail though. I hope you’re feeling much better!!!
hey pa,
i hope you get better soon…
and i enjoyed this post…you had me laughing out loud here in the office….
lemme get some of those!!!!
i dislike painkillers because they put me to sleep and i hate feeling like i missed shit.
vicoden + 110lb chick = zzz = evil
P.S. stop fucking hurting yourself. what will i do with you come august if you’re in a body cast?!