Guess Who Won The Pookie Award This Week?
Posted by ListenToLeon on
April 4, 2006
At first, I was not going to write about this, because it hit too close to home. Then, I remembered something: I already tell the world way too much information about me via this blog. Hell, I even told the blog world about the time I accidentally trimmed my ball hair too low and had my boys looking like Mr. Clean and Kojak standing next to each other or something. So if I can tell the world about that, then I can tell the world that I, the world-renoun and locally respected Hustleman, earned the Pookie Award for Crackhead Move of the Week on Saturday night.
Let me break down the scenario…I had this date lined up which I had been looking forward to since earlier in the week. So in preparation, I broke out a few suprises from my “Gentleman of Leisure” arsenal. I prepared the chicken around 9:30 AM and let it marinate all day long before finally cooking it around 5:30 in the evening. I went to the barbershop and got the fresh shape up so I’d be back at around 86% of my sexy instead of the 77% I was at pre-barbershop trip. I whipped up some other stuff for the meal, like couscous, vegetables in butter cream sauce, and prepared some strawberries for dessert. Even cleaned up the areas of the apartment that weren’t as spotless as the rest.
After all this, she arrives in my complex, and starts looking for the building. I got anxious, since I was ready to see how she’d react to all the blood, sweat and pimpery I put into setting up the evening. So I went outside to meet her and show her where my place it. Then all of a sudden I hear the door slam shut on it’s own. I reach in my back pocket, and all feel nothing. I see the interrogation scene from “Menace II Society” playing in my head…
I locked us both out of the damned apartment.
All that work, and now we’re both stuck outside and my roommate is gone to the movies and will not be back until around midnight. So we went to Downtown Silver Spring to try to waste some time, but once we get to that new pool hall out there, I reach in my pocket again, only to realize that not only did I lock my keys in the apartment, but my wallet with my ID as well. I had cash on me luckily, so we were able to chill for awhile outside talking and people watching(and clowning). I’m lucky the lady I was out with was nice. Most of the women I know would be calling me everything short of a child of God for putting them through that mush hassle in one night. She made the night really enjoyable when it could have been a total disaster.
Once the roommate got home, we were able to get in and enjoy the food I made and drink some long island iced teas to wash away the earlier frustrations of the evening. So it ended up being a nice time overall, but it could have been 10 times better had I not been absent minded. Since the fuckups of the night ALL belonged to me, I have no choice but to give myself the Golden Crackhead synonomous with behavior that defies logic and ignorance beyond comparison. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Pookie Award recipient for the week of April 4th, 2006, Leon a.ka. Hustleman!
*approaching stage*
“First of all, I’d like to thank God. Thanks for showing me that I’m good at pimpin’ but bad at romance. There’s a lesson to be learned from this. I want to thank my mom, for whupping my ass with that belt, or the leather flip-flop that bounced back and slapped you twice like ’slapSLAP!’ whenever I acted up. Thanks to the rest of my family and friends. It’s too many to name, because some people are already tired of reading this speech. Thank the academy, and all of the past Crackhead Award winners who voted for me: Marion Barry, Whitney Houston, Darryl Strawberry, Michael Irvin, DMX, Courtney Love, Nick Nolte, Bobby Brown and a host of others. Fuck you very much, God bless you, and goodnight.”
*exits stage*
20 Responses to “Guess Who Won The Pookie Award This Week?”
awwwww…that doesn’t make you a crackhead boo. just a little anxious…so maybe you should rename it the “ginuwine” award? ;)
by the way, just stopping by your blog to say hello. linked to you from sangindiva’s page!
~fallen angel
By fallen angel on Apr 4, 2006
I know it seems entirely too petty to just leave a comment consisting of only ROFLMAO so i just added these other useless words to fill in space but really what you should focus on is that i am indeed ROFLMAO *snickers*
By Tee on Apr 4, 2006
I have been reading your blog for a while but I had to just LMAO at your Pookie Award moment. It’s ok we all have them LOL!
By Atiyah on Apr 4, 2006
Yeah…she was nice….to such a Pookie LOL…I mean you was stuck…I might even forgive that…Doubt it…but I mighta…
By DJ Diva on Apr 4, 2006
Mr. Clean…is it ok to say Fuck you very much and God bless?…LMAO
Now iffin’ you been stuck AND had no money…we’da probably had a problem….yea, she was nice. :-)
By Blah Blah Blah on Apr 4, 2006
Mr. Clean…ummma, is it ok to say Fuck you very much and God bless?….LMAO
My girl sent in some stories to Zane…I told her I’d pray that she got published….thought about it and was like…I’m asking God to bless this freak-ass chick…LOL
Same situ….your hilarious.
By Blah Blah Blah on Apr 4, 2006
i agree with tee
ROFLMAO
we all have had those moments
By diva527 on Apr 4, 2006
awww you were as anxious as a puppy is when it sees it’s owner.
Glad it all worked out ok.
By Honest on Apr 4, 2006
It’s that type of stuff I’m paranoid about…which is why my wallet and keys both attach to my pants in some form or fashion…and I still check for them 20 times a day.
By Amadeo on Apr 4, 2006
You’re BURNT for that one!
Downtown Silver Springs, huh? Did you go to Baja Fresh?
BTW, you should move into a smaller apartment complex!!
By Tamara on Apr 4, 2006
awww… anxiety will get ya ass every time!! Been there done that, got the certificate.
But I see Karma is still biting u in your ass!! WTF~!
That new pool hall is the shit! I went there when I was in town for new years!!! Along with the new movie theater too…. All that new shit is nyce!!!
Glad you weren’t stuck with a materialistic, non loving the outdoors, hood rat!
By Miss A on Apr 4, 2006
ROTLMAO…I feel your pain, I can’t stand doors that lock on their own accord…and usually with you on the wrong side. Nice to see how much effort you put into the date and how you tried to salvage the situation. Better luck next time Hustleman. LOL
By B'Write on Apr 4, 2006
Hi, I just read your blog for the first time and you made me laugh my ass off. Just one question though, what the feck is ROFLMAO? xxxx
By OCPD on Apr 4, 2006
Dude that was the guts! Hilarious, nice saves though….you didn’t even hit the “pimp in distress” button!
and for the commenter who asked ROFLMAO means rolling on (the…people ebonically leave that out) floor laughing my ass off….
By The Killa Cal on Apr 4, 2006
@ Fallen Angel, thanks for stopping by :)
@ Tee, THAT SHIT AIN’T FUNNY!!! lol
@ Atiyah, thanks for the encouragement
@ DJ, you’d forgive me too once you tasted that chicken I made that night. It kicked ass.
@ Blah Blah Blah, LOL…I see you stopped calling me “Cool Breeze” now and found something else ;)
@ Diva, I figured someone would be able to relate to this…Or at least I hoped so.
@ Honest, even though you’re comparing me to a dog, I thank you for your nice sentiments :)
@ Amadeo, I might have to get one of those damned wallet chains..LOL
@ Tamara, no Baja Fresh. That’s our special place…lol
@ Miss A, I’m mad you were right near my damn house and didn’t even ask if I wanted to go to the movies…LOL. But yeah, Karma is still biting me like a pesky mosquito in the summertime.
@ B’write, thank you :)
@ OCPD, CThat’s internet geek talk for “Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.” Why do I know that? Well, because I am a card-carrying internet geek…lol
@ Killa Cal, I was about to call somebody for help…My momma, a locksmith, the police, the ghostbusters, Hell…anybody.
By Hustleman on Apr 5, 2006
lmaooo Im in the corner crakin up. lol
By ebonie on Apr 5, 2006
YOur date had u that discombobulated…I thought it was cute..and aint nothing cuter htan a man that can COOK
By NegroPino™ on Apr 5, 2006
I’ll call you whatever you want me to call you, as long as it puts a smile on your face ;-)
By Blah Blah Blah on Apr 5, 2006
If that’s the case, then call me…RIGHT NOW!
(202) 4*3-4**2
Hit me at HustlemanL77@yahoo.com to get the missing numbers…LOL
Hahahahahaha
By Hustleman on Apr 5, 2006