Laundry Day Dilemma
Posted by ListenToLeon on
April 17, 2006
This past Saturday, I let something unacceptible occur: I procrastinated on doing my laundry. I waited until I only had two clean pair of underwear left. The reason these two pair were left is because they are flawed. One pair has a hole in them big enough for my testicles to slide out. The other pair was given to me as a gift. They are made of a kind of thick wool material. The problem is, it is way too hot right now to wear underwear that is the same consistency as a flannel lumberjack shirt. My balls might catch fire in something like that. The friction would kill any hope I have of ever having children. Mess around and shoot out liquid hot magma next time I have sex. That’s NEVER cool.
So I had four options for my laundromat trip. Option 1 was to wear the holey draws and just deal with having to keep adjusting my sack whenever it dangles out of the hole.
Option 2 was to wear the extremly hot wool boxers to the laudromat with the extremely hot dryers, which would cause me to be extremly hot and uncomfortable the entire time there.
Option 3 was to re-wear some dirty, but not-too dirty underwear, since it would only be for a couple of hours. I could not bring myself to do that one, just in case a car hit me on the way back or something. I do not want to die in dirty underwear. That would be folks’ last memory of me. People would be at the funeral talking about “You know he had on filthy, smelly underwear when they found him. Just nasty for no reason at all”
I decided to choose option 4, which was to go Commando and just pretend that I had on underwear. I figured it would be the lesser of 4 evils. I just made sure to focus extra attention while washing my ass that morning in the shower. I figured that the cleaner it was, the less I would care about the fact that I had on no draws.
I know you’re probably wondering what the difference is between doing that, and wearing the underwear with the hole in the front. The difference is, with the “air conditioned” draws, everything would be in it’s proper place, except for my scrotum. Commando allows everything to dangle, which is slightly more comfortable than just one part of that area going off and doing it’s own thing. It’s all about crotch-consistency.
Save for a slight scare with the zipper, my freeballing experience was not that bad. Had it been summertime, I would have never attempted anything like that. Luckily, the 65-70 degree weather kept me from sweating down there. Plus, I wore a long enough shirt that folks couldn’t see me swaying to and fro as I walked through the laundromat. Hopefully, things will never come to this again, but if I ever do have to freeball, I’m ready for the challenge.
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19 Responses to “Laundry Day Dilemma”
ROFLMAO…hot magma? That might be some cool trick! Congrats on your expedition! I must say, I am proud. I rarely every wear undies, but i am a woman so its more sexy than wierd for me.
By diva527 on Apr 17, 2006
You are crazy. Are you trying to make me loose my job? I’m glad you chose to go without because those other options were a mess. Besides it’s easy access. Oh weren’t going now were we?
By Kris on Apr 17, 2006
We must be kindred spirits, I ran out of panties on Saturday except for the big granny ones…Yeah! Granny Draws! Whatever…
What makes it even worse, I have a washer and dryer in my home.
Lukily I found a pair of boxers I wear to bed sometimes, threw those to go to Wal-Mart to buy more…LAZY is the correct term.
Anywho, I do love seeing men freeballing, it lets you see what they are working with, the miniture version! Hehehe! Holla!
By mrs.tj on Apr 17, 2006
You did NOT say hot magma, lmao!!! I’m weak!
By Deah on Apr 17, 2006
LOL…You are too funny
By Tenacious on Apr 17, 2006
THIS is why I keep coming back….
By Blah Blah Blah on Apr 17, 2006
Did I actually just read a personal account of freeballing…and remain thoroughly entertained? Ya good, man. lol
By So...Wise...Sista on Apr 18, 2006
yeah, last time I checked… Magma is hot, not cool.
Glad you went commando. When I started reading Option 3, I was like… “man, pUHleeZE! Please let me read that he went commando!” Thank God I did… or this female would cancel a trip to the northern southern state.
Glad you were careful with the zipper! I want all of Leon Jr. Jr. to be in tact!
*imagining what Leon Jr. Jr looks like swaying to and fro*
Yummi
By Miss A on Apr 18, 2006
Damn dude, I’m glad you chose commando. I would have hated to hear about you getting in a situation by re-wearing shit stained drawls. That would have been TOOOOOOO much.
By Clickums on Apr 18, 2006
LOL @ Diva..That trick would not be cool if you were the woman getting scorched by the liquid hot magma…LOL
@ Kris, try to appear professional while reading the blog.
LOL @ TJ
@ Deah, Yeah…I Said It!
Thanks @ Tenacious
Good @ Blah Blah Blah…I must be doing something right ;)
Thank you @ So…Wise. If you haven’t figured out yet, I can write about almost subject and make it at least mildly entertaining…lol. That’s what us shit-talkers do.
@ Miss A, you’re acting like it’s a given that I’m going to show you my thing whenever it is you visit MD again. Stop assuming, woman! LOL
LOL @ DJ Diva. It’s cool for a lady, but I prefer y’all wear thongs. Especially this time of year with a skirt on…That way I can just pull it to the side when it’s time to get down to the get-down.
@ Clickums, Hampton taught me better than that…lol. Can’t walk around with the doo-doo draws.
By Hustleman on Apr 18, 2006
Oh yeah, Express newspaper people, if you made your way to my blog again, just excuse today’s genital subject matter. I’ll write about something that you can actually put in a family newspaper at some point this week, so keep on checking in…lol
By Hustleman on Apr 18, 2006
@Leon:
that’s why commanda is so much betta…nothing at all to impede the….well you know…
Methinks you just like the string in the booty idea…
By DJ Diva on Apr 18, 2006
I’m with Mrs. TJ, I like when men go commando AND wear sweats!!
“show me whatcha workin with”-Mystikal
Although I have been fooled by huge balls a few times!!! LMAO
SMH @ Miss A!!!
Stop frontin, Leon….I got $100 dollars thats says you’re gonna show her Leon Jr. Jr. the first night she gets in town!!! Bet?
By Tamara on Apr 18, 2006
@ DJ Diva, the string looks nice…lol
@ Tamara, I’m LMAO @ you being fooled by big balls…lol. And I’m NOT betting you. I refuse to let YOU dictate if, when and where I let Miss A find out how my dictate*
*That’s “dick taste” in Buckwheat language, for those who may be wondering.
By Hustleman on Apr 18, 2006
ummm… bruh… my question to you is…
why the hell you still own them draws with the hole big enough for your balls to hang out?
And what anxious ho you been messin with that ripped them there?
Nigga throw them shyts away IMMEDIATELY! We dont want to hear about them being an ‘option’ EVER again… lol
(probably got doodoo stains and e’rythang in them… ilk) lol
By prodigalsun on Apr 20, 2006
LMAOOOO @ Prodigal Sun!
You be clowing the HELL outta me on here sometimes, but I can’t even get mad ’cause it’s always HILARIOUS…lol
You’re right about me needing to get rid of them. Fuck it. They’re getting trashed when I come home from work today. And no, there are no skidmarks LOL.
By Hustleman on Apr 20, 2006
what’s wrong with u?
i feel the “freeballing” as it were
*no panties in jeans, that’s so necessary*
By feels good b n FREE on Apr 22, 2006
Is this supposed to be funny???
By Just browsing on May 5, 2009
Is that response supposed to be witty? Original? Necessary?
By ListenToLeon on May 5, 2009