Creepy Kids Are Not Creepy
Posted by ListenToLeon on
April 25, 2006
This is a message to all of the people that write horror movies:
ENOUGH WITH THE CREEPY KIDS!
There are too many horror movies that rely on using a wierd or creepy kid to move the story along. I’m sorry, but creepy kids do not scare me. I would kick the crap out of a creepy movie kid if he or she was coming after me. Only bad thing is that I’d have to find a way to prove the child was possessed by demons or under Satan’s control in order to justify leaving a size 11 Timberland print on the his or her forehead.
I wish a creepy movie child would come in here talking that “I see dead people” mess. That kid’s next words would be “I see Leon, and he’s taking off his belt!” I’d whup the evil spirits out of him. Whup a “Ring II” all around the room. Whup the “Monkey Shine” sh*t outta him. Whup him ’till he stops talking in whispers.
Don’t get me wrong. I do not advocate child abuse. That said, if it comes down to me or Damian the Devil-Child, Devil-Child is getting his ass whipped on some grown-man shit.
20 Responses to “Creepy Kids Are Not Creepy”
you stupid! but no joke – possessed child = ass whooppin’
By NubianTemptres43 on Apr 25, 2006
There’s only been two Creepy Kid movies that are scary.
1) The Omen. But then, it’s got the demon exception to your rule.
2) Ju-On (the Grudge).
By HomeImprovementNinja on Apr 25, 2006
i dont fuck with kids period. and i REALLY dont fuck with scary movies, so you KNOW i am a part of the “beat the hell out of a possessed kid” crew!
By diva527 on Apr 25, 2006
When did that creepy kid shit start? I remeber the first “creepy” baby I’d ever seen and that was in Rosemary’s Baby. How in the hell do you scare the bejeesus out of folks by usuing an unborn fetus and then an infant? That was pure genious.
Poltergeist started all of that whispering, soft toned, scary little innocent kid crap. “They’re heeeere”…I was a child when that movie came out. Even though I was a kid myself, after viewing it I became afraid of kids; especially blonde ones.
Funny post.
By Sarah on Apr 25, 2006
I believe we have a God given right to defend ourselves even if the mothafucka is 4 feet tall. Do not try to spook an average size adult and not thibk you will catch a silver bullet in yo ass!
Love the blog!
By Temp Whore on Apr 25, 2006
Hmmm, I woulda thought you were at least a size 13….:-)
HILARIOUS…”getting his ass whipped on some grown-man shit” You have the best one-liners…
By Blah Blah Blah on Apr 25, 2006
I have never understood the scary kid phenomenon. The only time you will ever see me running from a kid or just scared shitless is if the kid showed up screaming, “YOU’RE MY DADDY!”
AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!
By Clickums on Apr 25, 2006
This is hilarious. The only child that really scared me was that little chica at the beggining of the England remake of Dawn of the Dead. She showed up out of no where in her pj’s biting people and such. Thats some BS for your a$$.
Enjoyes your post. It’s my first time here.
By Ms. Pretty Green Eyes on Apr 25, 2006
For real. What is up with that possessed child shit? Have you noticed that it’s ALWAYS… I REPEAT…ALWAYS little white kids?(or white adults) What’s up with that? The devil don’t come to minority children/ people? Damn, even the DEVIL discriminating now?!? (lol)
By Anonymous on Apr 25, 2006
why didn’t i think of that??
a good whupping…straighten them right out…lol
whup the DEVIL outta them.
lol
By feels good b n FREE on Apr 25, 2006
The creepy kid thing is kinda played out. I tell you what, if your child asks me if I would like to play a game…and then tells me that they are already in the middle of playing a game (ala Hide and Seek with DeNiro and Dakota)…you will be able to come claim your child at the nearest police station cause he won’t be staying in my house.
@homeimprovementninja- that Ju-on child was on some other ish. Japanese horror is crazy.
@Leon- you know, every time I hear Three6Mafia’s “Poppin My Collar” I think of this crazy blog. Just finished poppin my collar all the way back from a great job interview. B.S. Degree is finally paying off. Thanks for the soundtrack moment!
By B'Write on Apr 25, 2006
The only creepy kid I like was in the first Pet Cemetary…and he got served to. I tell regular kids that I’ll serve them. I don’t care how short they are.
By Amadeo on Apr 25, 2006
LOL…I wish I would be scared of a little kid. But that little girl in Dawn of the Dead did scare the hell out me…After she finished chomping on my husband though I woulda beat the HELL outta her ass..You don’t go around biting folks f*ck wrong with you?!
**takes off belt and go trolling for bad ass kids**
By Tenacious on Apr 25, 2006
My mom keeps kids. They try to come in creepy, but short of child abuse, she takes care of that. Eventually they learn to fear Ms. Freeman and she don’t leave no marks.
Your next subject should be “creepy child caregivers is all they need…” LMAO!!!!
By Milleniagirl on Apr 25, 2006
lmao @ b’write!
but those “children of the corn” mothereffers are the creepiest!
By VP of Dior on Apr 25, 2006
If you notice…The Devil only bothers White kids. To be a creepy kid you gotta talk back to adults, ignore adult instructions, tear up stuff inthe house and be brave enough to hit, spit on, or kick your parent. Lil’ Darryl ain’t that stupid!!!
I’m sure Satan tried once to mess up Ray-Ray and got the azz whompin’ of his life. Dang, even Satan knows not to mess wit’ a black mama when she mad!
By Isha on Apr 25, 2006
@ Nubian, I know right!
@ Homeimprovement, I’ve always been meaning to see Ju-On
@ Diva527, I figured as much from you…lol
Thank you @ Temp. Stop back by sometime ;)
@ Blah Blah Blah, Nope, just 11…But don’t let that scare you away. Also, thanks for the compliment.
@ Sarah, the one tha messed me up was the girl in The Exorcist. THAT chick was evil…lol
@ Clickums, that’s my biggest fear! They should make a horror film about THAT! Dudes would be terrified all over the country!
@ Ms Pretty Green Eyes, that was the only part of that movie that actually made me jump. Her lack of a lower lip is what got me. Plus she bit the hell out that dude. Be sure to come back sometime, with those pretty eyes of yours ;)
@ Anonymous, The Devil is a LIAR! and apparently, a bigot too.
LOL @ Diamonds. My grandma used to say “Im’ll whup the devil outta you” when I would do something bad.
Congratulations @ B’write. Hope you get the job and they show you the money :)
LOL @ amadeo
@ Tenacious, don’t catch a child abouse case thanks to this blog!
@ Millenia, people like your mom is the reason that I’m not scared of bad kids. They know how to handle them.
@ VP, I still haven;t seen Childern onf th Corn, either.
@ Isha, that’s true. Nobody gets possessed in the ghetto. Stuff gets REpossessed, but not possessed.
By Hustleman on Apr 25, 2006
Too funny! not only do I hate creepy kids, I hate smart ass kids, especially those brats from sit coms! The only creepy kid that really creeped me out was Damien from the Omen. The kid creeps the f*ck out of me, even now! The others I just want to drown. And I’m so glad to hear y’all say you’d beat a creepy kid down and no one thinking we’re talking about child abuse. There is a difference. I got beat down as a kid, and I’m a better adult for it.
LMAO @ Isha’s comment: damn, even Satan is racist!
Hey Leon, you’re kinda hot, too bad you’re so young…..
By double L on Apr 26, 2006
LMAO.. not on some grown man shyt LMAO
By Bklyn Diva on Apr 26, 2006
LL, that creepy kid from the Omen gave me nightmares as a kid too. I watched a lot of horror films but only 3 ever gave me bad dreams.
1) The Omen
2) Salem’s Lot (a vampire who’s not afraid of crosses? How Fcuked up is that!).
3) Trilogy of Terror (last one was freaky Chucky-like doll that tried to kill the girl with a butcher knife).
Hustleman, Move Ju-On up your list on Netflix. That film is the shit!
By HomeImprovementNinja on Apr 26, 2006