Back around the time that my parents got divorced, was a somewhat shy, quiet and reserved young man. I used to let fear consume me and dictate how I lived my life. I was constantly afraid. Afraid to fail. Afraid to get embarrased. Afraid to try things without some sort of safety net or security blanket there to sheild me from anything bad.
Then, as I became a teenager, I realized that I could not continue to follow the road I had been traveling. I knew that I would never make it to where I want to be in life if I was afraid to go for what I wanted. As my best friend E often says, a closed mouth don’t get fed. I had to take the initiative and confront everything that stood in my way.
My first fear was getting shot down. I was scared to approach girls for fear that people would tease me forever for liking someone if she did not like me back. Now that I’m grown, I see how silly that logic is. But as a kid, it was enough to make me nervous as a hooker in church anytime a girl I really liked came around. So I confronted my fear one day, got shot down, and came to the realization that “No” isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be, even though it was in front of a lot of people. Had it not been for that one experience, I would not have nearly as many funny stories to tell you all, so thank the woman who shot me down on my first ever attempt to ask someone out.
I was slightly scared of heights, but I conquered this fear by going on every tall roller coaster at Kings Dominion amusement park with my cousins one summer. Now I love roller-coasters, and will get on any one you put in front of me, as long as the waiting line is not halfway down the street.
I also had a fear of deep water, but I did not confront this fear until freshman year in college. Frustrated by the jokes that came from all of my friends who could swim, I signed up for a swimming class at Hampton. I figured that there were lifeguards around who would not let me drown. I also figured that I would have to learn, or it would mess up my GPA. HAd I thought about the fact that there would also be hot women in bathing suits in the class, I may have actually declared that as my major. I’d be typing this from the beach right now, looking like the black David Hasselhoff.
Yet one fear remains…A fear that defies rational logic. A fear that baffles me to the inner depths of my soul. A fear that really should not be a fear because it poses me no harm, yet I still tremble before it. That fear, is Star Jones-Reynolds.
Now I’m not going to totally trash Mrs. Jones-Renyolds. Besides, I know that the folks that comment on here will probably do that for me once they take a gander at that photo I just put up here. I just had to put this fear out in the open because, until tonight, I never knew why I have a feeling of uneasiness whenever I see her image.
Leave it to my friends Resha and Hassan to help me discover the root of my problem. It’s not the fact that she had gastric bypass and is about 1/4 of the size that she used to be. Nor is it her very un-masculine husband, who looks like he practices wrestling holds on Terry McMillian’s ex. I discovered that the reason I fear Star Jones-Reynolds, is because she reminds me of Faye Dunaway’s portrayal of Joan Crawford in the movie “Mommie Dearest”.
Now that I have recognized my fear, I need to go through the necessary steps to get over it. This no doubt will include a nightmare tonight of Star Jones-Reynolds beating the hell out of me with a wire hanger. So if any of you sees me out in DC tomorrow with bags under my eyes, it’s because I had trouble sleeping. Pat me on the back and tell me that everything is going to be alright.
I might even have to actually confront my fear one day and meet Mrs. Jones-Reynolds face-to-face. To conquer the fear of heights, I had to ride that rollercoaster. When I learned how to swim, my breakthrough did not come until I jumped right in the pool.
Now, I refuse to ride Star Jones-Reynolds, or jump in any parts of that woman, but I think the key to getting over this is to one day give her a hug. Preferably during the winter months, so there is the least amount of skin-to-skin contact involved. This may be the only way that I truly move past my fear. Hopefully, Star’s people will see this, because I do not want to have to live in fear for the rest of my natural life. Star, if you’re listening, HEEEEELP!
Isha gives HM Pat on the back… “everything is going to be alright.”
You are too much! I’m thinking you are going to go into some deep heartfelt share blog and I end up ROTFL. Yes it’s quite frightening. I got an e-mail that showed start to finish and WHEW Thank the Lord for Breast lifts. She had those floppy dog ears up there for a minute.
Miracles of modern science: Puff the magic hagon to the wicked stick of the East.
Your fear isn’t at all irrational. She’s rather scarey looking, to say the least. That ET head? the saggy skin. those eyelashes.
Man, she is about 10 years away from officially looking like the Crypt Keeper’s older sister. Mark my words.
Yeah, buddy, be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
You are dead-on with that assessment! I never realized it before now. LOL. No more wire hangers!
Star is scary for a variety of reasons, and I’ve worked with her personally so I know the truth…
Damn L, after posting that picture I am going to have nightmares now. May I suggest NoDoz followed by an expresso chaser.
Ok, so I’m reading something I find to be a serious side of Hustleman, about your fears, insecurities, etc. and you revel your biggest fear to be the newly annointed Scary Spice. Mrs. Jones Reynolds is, indeed, out of control. The woman has talent and intelligence, but has been hynotized by the belief that all women must look like…..this. Another time when I blame the friends. WHY DID HER GIRLS LET HER GET TO THIS LEVEL?!?
She’s definitely a scary looking woman!
We know she puts on the pants when she gets home.
Honestly, I thought she was a drag queen that had a long ass day. She looks a HOT ASS MESS. If anything else sag on her man…….
You know you just posted this cause you hoping word gets back to her so u can try to tap that saggy vagina.
@ nyamavu, I’m laughing at “floppy dog ears” Funny shit
@ The Hostess, thanks for helping me feel a little more normal, despite my phobia
@ Hassan, I am afraid, VERY afraid
@ Geckogirl, I’m traumatized by the thought
@ Asian Mistress, you’re the second person that worked with her to say that to me today.
@ Desert Gigolo, I’m going to drink heavily tonight and hope that gets me to sleep.
@ Double L, you’re right. Someone should have staged an intervention.
@ Jez chill, I’m pretty sure you’re correct about that.
LOL @ Sincere
@ Dirty, I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Besides looking like an Transvestite her weave is fabulous in the picture. I wonder what she’s done with all that extra skin.
you got me crackin up here like a mug…. but I feel you on the fear…. I wasn’t into her b4 the op… and now its 10 x’s worse
“I wonder what she’s done with all that extra skin. “
Now I just threw up in my mouth a little. Blech!!
Ergh…ok…that pic is very frightening and shares a striking resemblance to miss piggy…
I dont get the hype around Star Jones..people defend her relentlessly but I see her as being real ‘diva-ish’ and aggravating
But THIS LINE:
Nor is it her very un-masculine husband, who looks like he practices wrestling holds on Terry McMillian’s ex
….had me CRYING LMAOOOOOOOOOO
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