I have seen more strippers over the past week than I have in all of 2005. It just seems like, whenever I spend time with folks, somehow, somebody decides that we should take a trip to see naked women dancing. Business meetings, dates, family reunions…Just does not matter. It must be titty season in the DC metropolitan area or something. Spring fever must have just begun to hit everybody. Personally, I’d much rather be in a lounge or regular club, where I can talk to a woman who will dance without me having to put dollar bills in her garter belt. One whom I can flirt with and not have to worry about a security guard throwing me out on my head because I touched her. I guess that’s just me, though…
The last two clubs that I went to were as different as night and day. Almost literally. On Saturday, I ended up at The Skylark, and yesterday evening I ended up at Camelot. Camelot is one of those clubs that prides itself on being “classy”, whereas The Skylark flat-out just does not give a f*ck. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about the difference in upscale strip clubs and grimy hole-in-the-wall spots, but I shall go over it one more time for those who may have missed it.
Security at Camelot: Men in suits speaking into headsets, walking you over to your table and greeting you at the door. No patdowns.
Security at The Skylark: Some 300 pound guy with no neck who played a year of college football at Virginia State. Will violate your civil liberties while attempting to make sure that you are not bringing any guns, knives or cameras into the place.
Drinks at Camelot: Not cheap. Will give you a decent buzz.
Drinks at The Skylark: Moderately priced, to “Way too much for this nasty-ass sh*t”. VERY strong. Will get you quite f*cked up if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Dancers at Camelot: Look like the women you see on those late night Cinemax movies. Silicone breasts and tan lines as far as the eye can see. Not much in the way of pole tricks or dancing. Mostly white women, but a few black and latinas were mixed in there, too.
Dancers at The Skylark: Less silicone, more ass. Some are sloppy and look like they have been in a few knife or gunfights. Others are cute and look like they have a gym membership somewhere. Will go above and beyond the call if folks are tipping well. Might be one or two token white girls, but the rest are all black.
There you have it. That’s all you need to know when making a strip club decision between an “classy” spot(Camelot), or a “grimy” spot(The Skylark). So I guess you can now make an informed decision, based on what you are in the mood for. Have a nice weekend, and if you’re in Camelot, tell “Peaches” that Leon says hello.
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my boy likes Camelot… that’s my destination the next time I’m up there with him… but there’s another one in the DC area that he loves too, but I can’t think of the name of it… I’m pretty sure it’s a “Gentleman’s Establishment” being that he loves classy women… haha
me… I prefer a strip joint in between the two… give me some classy ladies and some ass shakeage, and I’m good to go! I want my drinks tasteful and reasonably priced.
I’m guessing that even though the grimy spot ain’t all that, the men probably get more for their money, therefore they probably have more customers.
I grew up in NYC and the classy ones there (where the girls look like models) are night and day from the dive ones I’ve seen in the midwest. In NYC they come out in sequinned dresses and have sexy g-stringy stuff underneath. In the dive bar, I shit you not, there was girl who came out in cut-off jean shorts and took her clothes off and had mis-matched bras and panties that looked like they came from wallmart. Oh, and the girls in NYC were mostly tatoo free. Needless to say they didn’t have their kids names tattoo’d to one of their breasts.
I’ve been trying for years to get my friends to take me to a “grimmy” stripclub but so far no success well except that time we were in Tijuana and the stripper stripped by boy down to his skivvies but hey that was Mexico and the stripper looked like she was pregnant. The only places I’ve been to in DC have been Camelot and Archibalds…BORING!
@ Honest, we can go to The Penthouse next week sometime if you want.
@ Miss A, there are a few different places similar to Camelot in that same part of town.
@ Nikki, that’s the appeal of the grimy spots. The other ones get boring faster.
@ Homeimprovement, that’s funny. I know there was a big difference in the amount of tattoos I saw between the two clubs, too. One lady actually had a tattoo that read “Property Of Eric” in large letters right above her ass.
I can not believe you are tryna get a field trip to the Penthouse set up…And nobody e-mailed ME!!!! I’ve only been to one strip club. To Nexxus Cluff or Club 55. One of the ones down by where the new stadium is being built. I was less than impressed. I could have out-danced those broads with a sprained ankle.
What is funny is my brother and I was just having a conversation about whack and old strippers i.e. his wifes cousin who is 40 overweight and has stab wounds. she kind of reminds you of Addelle Givens charachter in Players Club who still prides herself on the fact she can make a bottle dissappear. Anyway I digress, I thought todays post was cool.
Most dudes I know go straight to the grimey spots…It reminds me of the contrast between movies and real life. In movies when you see hookers they look good…in real life (in my city anyway) there are more old mean gettin some from toothless, cracked out dirty…broads. For instance I was driving down 25th st. one day and one of them raised her shirt up…I swore I would go blind and despite the fact that I was moving I covered my eyes.
I can not believe you are tryna get a field trip to the Penthouse set up…And nobody e-mailed ME!!!! I’ve only been to one strip club. To Nexxus Cluff or Club 55. One of the ones down by where the new stadium is being built. I was less than impressed. I could have out-danced those broads with a sprained ankle.
When I first came back to DC from ATL – my cousin had discovered this hole-in-the-wall place called Isle’s on Rhode Island Ave. I had never been to a female strip club before, so the first time walking in I was scared as hell, then the tallest chick I ever seen came and put her boob damn near in my eye, needless to say it was the best night of my life. We went to that club so damn much, we had VIP, where there was none. LMAO. Good times, good times.
he left out the part about the Skylark being overrun by aggressive, man-hating lesbians…. but otherwise a pretty good writeup.
lol, i’ve been to both those spots are you are dead on…..
them girls at the Camelot, just sashay around the stage..(were u upstairs or downstairs)…and did you peep that they are very sanitized, wiping the poles and mirrors off after each set, hillarious…
and the skylark girls, have no trouble climbing and jumping on them poles in a heart beat, lol
How could you write a blog about DC strip clubs without mentioning The Penthouse on GA Ave.? I left DC in ’97 so forgive me if the joint got siezed by the Feds since then for money laundering or on-premisise killings or something. I distinctly remember me and my boys noting the size differential between each stripper’s left and right mammary gland. Fake boobs are usually more evenly sized than real ones, (as I’m sure you’re aware). Then there was the time at the Macombo Lounge when a dancer made an on-stage request for monetary contributions toward that night’s babysitter’s fees. I could go on and on. Aaaaaahhh, the times we had in pre-gentrification DC.