My sister called me today to tell me that my mom is upset with me. Apparently, she finally got around to reading this blog, despite the fact that she’s been saying that she was going to read it for over a year now. I won’t get into the fact that other people had to start showing this site attention before she actually brought herself to look at it. I’ll move on to the reason why she’s mad and just act like she has been a supporter my writing all of this time.
Of all the things that she chose to be mad at(and trust me, there is plenty of stuff to make a mother angry on here), my mother is upset because I made fun of random family members. Like 70 year olds are really going to read this stuff and get upset. Most of my family over the age of 60 is computer illiterate, anyway. If they get mad, I’ll know who told them and I’ll know who needs to get confronted at the next family reunion. Besides, if any of the people I wrote about get upset with what they see here, then thay shouldn’t have been talking trash or doing what they did. That’s the bottom line, because the fact that all the craziest stuff is true is probably what bothers my mom the most.
Anything I’ve put up here, I’m more than willing to say to anybody. I try to be diplomatic around the family because, well, they’re older, and I don’t want to have to hear anybody giving me a speech for talking back. That’s the ONLY reason I let some stuff slide. Besides, they talk about me like a dog when I’m not around and a lot of it gets back to me. At least my stories are funny. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
Well, now that I’ve just assured myself a summer without family cookouts and get-togethers, I guess my work here is done. I need to hire an agent and make some real money off of this writing now, since it’s caused me to become a social leper among the family. If I make it big, maybe folks will get over everything. That, or kiss my ass and pretend that they like me because I’m rich. Either way, I ask that all of my readers who are normal, clean and sane, find it in your heart to invite me to as many cookouts as possible this summer, since I’m pretty sure all the family invites will get “lost in the mail” or something after this. I’ll bring a bottle or a 12 pack and contribute to the cause, just for good measure.
Sincerely,
Hustleman, The Black Sheep of the Family
First off…I am so mad at you for that stupid ass picture…LMAO
Your more than welcome to come on up to NYC for a weekend…cookout not so sure but I am sure I can find something for you to eat….
Damn…you did say your mama is reading now…I shoulda been a little less BLATANT!
*sorry cool breeze’s mom*
lol, Leon… I’m sorry. It really looks like that sheep is getting the business :-( The smile on your face isn’t helping, lol. I need to give my brain a bath.
**goes back to lurkerdom, hoping your mom doesn’t read this comment**
lmfao!
“u can get with this or u can get with that”
“engine engine no. 9 …… pick it up pick it up pick it up”
Ummm… sorri… seems like someone fell off the family track!
HAHAHAA!!! PARENTS ARE SO FUNNY!
what about all the talk about cocks, and hoes?! LOL. guess u could talk about that all u want but dont eva eva eva eva eva talk bad bout the fam. :)
Awww, sorry your mommy is mad at you, babycakes! You’ve said some really crazy stuff (has she MET you?!)….you should have directed her to your greatest hits. Lots of stuff for her to be mad about there. You would’ve been out of the family faster than Ben Affleck bringing home J Lo. I’ve got lots of cookouts you can come to, although not of the family type. I’ve been on the outs since I was in the 10th grade and my brother told me to go to hell and I said “no you go”. (Damn, but what about what he said!??!) Family!
Dog you went super old school with the black sheep joint! Leon you CRAZY!!!
I SAID LATER MAN!
I CAN DIG IT!
Peace!
Dude … that photo is hilarious. LOLOL
LMAO @ that picture. I would never tell my family about my blog so I can be free to talk about them all I want.
I’ll be taking you up on your offer from your last post. We’ve got a long w/e coming up yippee!
Hey Hustlman, It’s too late to change the sheep-pic. I’m fwd it to PETA. ASAP. Now you know people don’t like their dirty laundry out in the street, but I agree with you on that if they do something to you then you have every right to tell the world. It’s sad though when your own fam don’t beleive in you but just make sure you use that hateraide for gasoline!!!
You lookin’ just like Al B. Sure with that haircut. Y’all some kin? He might be a long lost cousin that’ll invite you to a cookout or two :)
*sending u an evite*
We “clean and sane”…lol
@ Blah Blah Blah, you need to stop faking and start having some sensual IM convos with me like the one you had with your boy last week ;)
@ Deah, yeah, that photo is unintentionally gay and cruel to animals. Didn’t mean for it to end up that way
@ Miss A, if they’re real family, they’ll forgive me one day
@ Sylva, once again, you are right my wise friend
@ Will, I was hoping folks would find it as funny as I did. Thanks.
@ Honest, e-mail me at HustlemanL77@yahoo.com so we can discuss details.
@ Content, that’s exactly what I am going to do. Thanks.
@ Original Sindee, I got a lot of phone numbers thanks to girls coming up to me and telling me I look like him in trhe 90′s…I need to invite him to some cookouts out of sheer grattitude
WHERE MY DAMN E-VITE @ DIAMONDS!!! :)
@ Double L, I’d love to hang out with you at a couple of those cookouts you mentioned. I’m sure we’d keep each other laughing since we both say exactly what’s on our minds.
@ Naro, I took it back to middle school with that one!
Sorry to hear that your moms “finally” got around to visiting the blog….look even though she’s pretty pissed and miffed she has got to give you props for ‘literary creativity’ so basically you’re just ‘bonin’ up on ya writing skills…a mother has to love that…continuing education…LOL!