Random Hump Choices

Around 3AM this morning, after hours of battling with this computer in an attempt to get my free copy of Microsoft Word to work, my television remote somehow ended up leading me to BET Uncut. It’s been awhile since I watched that program, so I forgot just how much T&A could be crammed into 1 hour of television time. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many thongs in one place at one time. It actually got a little redundant. Maybe it was the fact that most of the rappers had wack lyrics and $10 beats accompanying them. Still, I ended up changing the channel to CNN.

Once I got to CNN, I saw that Al-Zarqawi, outspoken TaliBAMMA, got killed in an air strike. As much shit as he’s talked, and as many people as he’s killed over the last couple of years, I am actually glad they fucked him up the way they did. They have him on tape beheading people, so I’m glad he met a fucked-up end, too. I just hope they don’t put his dead guy photos on TV like they did with Saddam’s sons. no one really wants to see that shit. *edit* Too late. Yahoo already has a postmortem image up *edit* So yeah, this war hasn’t given me much to get excited about, but I’m glad the troops laid the smackdown on that dude.

Oh yeah, back to the topic. The CNN anchor at 4AM in the morning is fine as hell! She’s Indian, I believe, with pretty eyes and large breasts like kasaba melons. I don’t really know what kasaba melons look like, but the way Arsensio Hall described breasts that look like them in “Coming To America,” they must be nice.

So yes, I’m ashamed to admit it, but the CNN lady got me more aroused than the almost naked asses on BET Uncut. Is there something wrong with me?

After this confession, I’m sure you all will think that there is something wrong with me. I want to hump old-ass Janice Dickinson from America’s Next Top Model, if for no other reason than because she’s crazy, and I know she’d do some wild things in bed. Plus, for a woman that’s old as hell, she’s not bad(granted the cosmetic surgery and whatever the hell else she’s doing). I wouldn’t go out of my way to get at her, but if she came up to me, got on her knees and pulled out my soul pole, I wouldn’t stop her from doing her thing. I’m kind of mad that I missed her show on the Oprah channel, because I know that it is probably funny. She just says whatever’s on her mind, consequences be damned.

I’d also put the wood to Pam Oliver, the NFL sideline reporter. I think I mentioned this before, but the NFL broadcasts are prejudiced. They show those skinny ass Dallas cheerleaders all the time, but they never show Pam Oliver’s phatty. Trust me, the booty is there. They just never scroll the camera back far enough to show it. NFL viewers want to see black ass, too. I’m not asking you to tell Pam to start shaking her ass while “What’chu gon do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk” blasts over the loudspeakers. I just want you to move the camera back some so we can all bask in the glory of NFL sideline reporter booty. There’s still dignity in that.

I could probably think of more random hump choices, but I’m about to take an early lunch. Hunger outweighs lust, or at least it does today.