I know this one is sure to anger the ladies, but I don’t really care because it needs to be done. Today, I am actually going to live up to the Black Moses label I so greatly bestowed upon myself. Just like Moses rescued the slaves in Egypt, I come before the men reading this today, a man on a great mission from a higher calling. That mission is to liberate my bretheren from the tyranny of vaginal dominance.
The higher calling of which I speak, is from a conversation that I had with my boy E on Saturday. He’s 6’3″ tall, so since he towers over me, our conversation counts as a higher calling. I told him about an old hump buddy of mine who stopped calling me for sex sessions because I got content to just do my thing, and let her go down on me without returning the favor. I explained to her that it was a misunderstanding since I liked going down on her. The thing is, since she seemed to LOVE going down on me more, I would just let her. I mean, who was I to stand in the way? Especially considering the passion and zeal that she brought when she did it. Besides, on her good days, I’d be rendered almost motionless. Yep, she had that “temporary-paralysis” head game.
Basically, the theory that E and I came to was that one of her other FBs was probably kissing her ass and licking her on command whenever she wanted. Which is cool if he was getting enjoyment out of it, but sucks if he was just doing that in the hopes that he’d lock her down as his lady. E and I went on to discuss many different variations of kiss-ass dudes and spineless fellows who are afraid to be honest or stand up for themselves. As a result, I became inspired to create:
The Real Man Underground Railroad
I know, I know…sounds similar to Al Bundy’s “NO MA’AM” organization on Married With Children. In some respects, it is. The difference is, this organization is not here to hate women. The purpose is to emancipate our brothers from the estrogen-scented chains of opression. Do not let them run the same game on you that their mothers ran on their fathers years ago. Times are changing. We as men should adapt. It’s the simple law of the wild. Survival of the fittest.
I’m about to go Sam Jackson right now and raise my voice:
IF THEY SAY SOMETHING STUPID, TELL’EM SO! A SIMPLE “SHUT ‘CHO SIMPLE ASS UP” NEVER KILLED ANYONE!!!
STOP KISSING ASS AND GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL!!! SPENDING BIG MONEY UNNECESSARILY…PRESENTS WHEN YOU FIRST MEET A CHICK…OFFERING TO LICK THE SNATCH UNDER THE PREMISE THAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO LICK THE STICK IN RETURN…WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!?! YOU ARE FUCKING IT UP FOR EVERYONE!!!
STOP MAKING UP RUMORS AND TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOUR FELLOW MAN!!! WHAT PART OF THE GAME IS THAT?!?! IS THAT SHIT COOL WHERE YOU’RE FROM?! IS THAT WHAT’S HOT IN THE STREETS?!?! SAY IT AIN’T SO!!!
STOP GIVING AWAY OUR SECRETS!!! WE ALREADY CAN’T FIGURE OUT WOMEN FOR SHIT. STOP TELLING THEM THE REASONS WHY WE DO THE SHIT WE DO!!! SNITCHES GET STITCHES!!! I WILL COME FIND YOU!!!
I believe that is an internet first! ListenToLeon: The First Man To Actually Yell In Print Form!
But you get my drift. Holler at me on HustlemanL77@yahoo.com if you want to be down with the Underground Railroad. I need 12 loyal Apostles so they can document my teachings and publish the official “Holy Book of Hoe Hate” once some angry woman has assasinated me and made me a martyr. No Judas suckers, either. If I find out that any of my disciples let their little sister or best female friend read our teachings, there will be Hell to pay. I don’t care if your sister is a lesbian. SHE AIN’T GOT NO BUSINESS ON THE REAL MAN UNDERGROUND RAILROAD!!!
Sorry y’all…reverted back to Sam Jackson mode again. I’ll try to keep my voice down next entry.
P.S., I really do love women to death…I just have a very low tolerance for bullshit at this advanced age I’m at now. Being older has brought me patience, but as my patience grew, my bullshit-o-meter became extremely accurate. I can smell it a mile away these days.
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Rofl you are a asshole. “Holy Book Of Hoe Hate”. jsdfhjkdklasdl;a lmao!
too damn funny…btw….im a female and im not offended…just amused.
leon, what about a dude who doesnt go down on you ever, and he has never taken you out on a date, i mean never, but he aks you if your fucking another guy, feels mad if you are fucking another guy, and the dude and girl have been going this way for 4 years. can you please break that down.
LOL!!!!! You are one funny guy. I have to remember to stop reading this at work. Good luck rallying the fellas.
Hahaha…you are so funny! I must say too much “head” can spoil a man. Had she rationed it out maybe you’d be more inclined to go down on her because you’d want her to return the favor.
Women are screwing the game all up. Brown nosing niggas and shit. Trying to get a Vanessa Del Rio/Janet Jack Me title for ego purposes? Bitches: stop sucking like your life depends on it, particularly if you can’t even get the favor returned, let alone a decent “date night”. Slobbing knobs because you “like” it? Come on. Shit, I love shrimp fettuccine alfredo and oxtail but I’ll be damned if I eat it every day…only because I understand the “law of diminishing returns”. I’d like to school your “sex buddy”.
It’s a sad day when a woman has to long for cunnilingus…damn. “Stop the hate chile!!!”
You’re hilarious dude, fucking hilarious.
I don’t feel sorry for you or your FB, demands in a purely sexual relationship?! At our age? fuck that. If she wanted reciprocity/feelings/emotion/general affection and desire she needs to drop this FB relationship and build a real one.
my 2 cents.
LOL
See, I see it like this… it’s not so much against women as it is against spineless men. Men who don’t go after what they want and stand up for themselves. Once explained like that what woman would be against it?
Hey you know I’m down. Let me know.
I’ve heard stories about that type of head that makes brotha turn into Christopher Reeve but I thought the person who told me about it was exaggerating. If Hustleman confirms it then it must be true. I have to see what this is all about first-hand.
PREACH!!! it’s high time these women know the deal……
sign me up
This shit is so funny on so many levels, that I don’t even know where to begin. The Sam Jackson voice was killin me. But I feel you on this though…I really do. If you still recruitin’, hit a brotha up!!!
Absolute laziness on your part. You should be puttin in work too, you lazy bastard.
Those men that give away ya’ll secrets are suckas, and I treat them as such. If you’re just going to give the head up for free, I’m gonna take advantage of that and use you for it. I can smell a pansy ass sucka a mile away and thats extremely unattractive to me. They usually lack self confidence so I end up using them for what they have to offer and tossing them aside like bitches when a real man comes along. I’m probably doomed to the depths of hell for that, but its not like I really give a shit anyway.
Ahhhhh. Shaddup! (old school retort)
You know I am game! I agree niggas need to stop. YOU CAN NOT SAVE THEM!!! As you can see no one listen to the prophets before Len. Snoop made it cut and dry “I don’t love them ho’s”, “I treat a bitch like 7up, I never have, I never will” I don’t know, I think we are doomed. I leave you with the words of the GREAT John Witherspoon “Don’t be pussy whipped, you got to whoop that pussy”
Oh Leon.
I have to say this- you are lightweight misleading your flock! Don’t go out here telling men to stop offering us pussy licks with nothing in return! That shit is great!
I began a relationship this way and trust me, the man I’m involved with did not regret his decision to perform a little cunnilingus on me! It turned out quite well for him in the end so don’t knock it!
:-)
Leon,
You didn’t really like going down on her, did you?
I used to date a dude who wore my legs like earmuffs. It made me want to live in his lap. *shrug*
I agree with shakeitsenorita…just like guys cant be fucking it up for other guys, women: chill on that sucking dick at the drop of a hat stuff. You dont have to ration it like its WWII but damn, you cant run off blessing guys with the your treats all the damn time.
You know what would really teach that heffa a lesson?
If you gave us the number of this paralyzing head-giver.
My email address is psun@prodigalsun.com… lol
(I keeed, I keeeed… lol)
Preach it brotha! Don’t mind the chicks, they have their own version. It’s called feminism. Hey, you’re named Leon too. Nice!
WOW, you have reached the promised land with this post Hustleman “L”. Count me in as an Apostle, or should I say a Knight of the “Mound” table. I pledge my allegiance…
I’m a queen and I deserve to be treated as such…
Giving and receiving makes shit work… whether it’s a FB or someone you’re truly interested in getting serious with… I’ve dropped men cuz they stopped giving and only wanted head… fuck ya’ll…
Stop complaining and get ya game together! haha
NOTE TO SELF:
women have always been A HEAD of the game
Seriously!
Cool Breeze you fucking up my joint yo!
Stop whispering that bullshit in my man’s ear….
I got him where he needs to be…
Your gonna start a damn rebellion…THEN who’s gonna pay my rent? You? Don’t make me come to VA and bite that ass yo!
LMAO
U a straight fool.
Yup.
LMAO, ..first off the comments, male & female got me rolling …second the post period is just sick, really funny…
also one question, why does a guy think that just because you quit callin him that some other guy is doing his job, maybe she is just the type of girl that agrees with shakeitsenorita like me,…you can’t just give head freely…those chicks ruin it for all…
Boy, you know dat’s some bullshit and don’t you say it anyone else or I’ma find you and fuck your forehead up with another spoon. LOL!!!!
Tell, it Shakeitsenorita. Hoes need to stop fucking it up for the rest of us by giving away their shit like coupons. I’m down with “you do me first”. Then I know what’s what. Y’all are some tricky bastards. You’ll wait until she does you to tell her you don’t go down on women.
I don’t know what that’s all about, but it’s stupid. You only get back what you invest in, my bruthas. A “banging my back” out don’t always get it.
omg! this is hilarious! first off, one of your boys turned me onto your blogs.. you throw out some funny sshhhtt.. this one I just couldn’t resist…had to post up…
but i’m all for the “do unto others as you want them to do unto you” or simply “karma” heh heh..
LMFAO … “the higher calling” and all cuz he’s 6’3″ ahahaha… rolling…
Peace! ;-)
Frisco-Pina….
<-------standing ovation. As the self proclaimed "Single Man's Champion" I applaud you...I also demand that all single working men should be fed and massaged. Those men with no income do not concern us. I will stand by you Leon.
haha… “anonymous” aka “frisco-pina” or wateva.. lol… no offense…. pinned your bad luck series!
Karma has really bitten you in your ass lately!
Maybe you should eat more pussy! hahahahahaahahahahahaaha
I’m just saying..
LEon stikes again..U never cease to amaze me….Hey CUtie
I will follow you!!! This was hilarious and highly accurate!!!
Dayum, Leon! What got you all fired up to testify like this at 1:06am?
hey miss a, none taken…
hahahaah….i guess you would think that, but nope, that’s just how i live…
and oh yeah, about that carpet munching thing… i don’t swing that way, but sure sounds its making you one happy azzz….hahhaahhhahhaah
Hey, if bitches wanna be stoopid, let them be treated like their stoopid. I say! Keep using her for her head game and when she finally decides to grow balls and ask/demand for some pussy play, tell her punk bitch ass your tired!
All this “WOMAN POWER!” crap is balant bullshit. I know 100% of the female population as played the role of a dumb ass once or twice in her life, and when they realized they were dumb asses, they man’ed up and did what they had to do to get some respect! Thats the only way any woman should be in power! When they fucking earn it! Not because they deserve it! YUH!
Dawg All I’m sayin’ is why do brothers give away timetested secrets of the male brotherhood after sex?!?!? I’ve run into women that knew everything from why men wiggle their legs back in forth in the presence of women to the Kappa and Que grips?!?!?
Please brothers stop the senseless jibber jabber after unloading your million men!!! Do what the rest of your self-respecting brethren do after mind-numbing sex….GO TO SLEEP!!!
I’m Gone.