After The Love Is Gone
Posted by ListenToLeon on
July 11, 2006
When I wrote the entry about love at first sight, I did not intend for it to have a second part. That said, many people have been asking me about how things ended and whether or not she is still in my life. Since I kind of left the last one a little open-ended, I will go ahead and tell the story about when things fell apart with us.
Law School Girl and I did the long-distance relationship thing for a minute, going above and beyond the call to keep it interesting. Sending each other suprise presents…calling each other every night…We even talked about me finding a job out there and potentially moving to Los Angeles. That’s how serious things were getting. My nose was wide open. I’m talking KRS-One nostrils. Like James Evans from Good Times when he would get mad. you all get the point.
Then, a month before I was scheduled to fly out to see her, she called me crying, telling me the story of how she hung out with some guy from her church and kissed him. I expressed my dissapointment, but I didn’t cuss her out or anything. We just had a very long talk about the way things were going and where we wanted to take them. Afterwards, we came to the conclusion that we would still try to make things work. That said, it was the beginning of a very bad downward spiral in the relationship.
That phone call bothered me for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, my trust in her was damaged. I couldn’t help but think that her admitting to “kissing” this guy was her really saying she fucked him. The thought alone would just put me in a foul mood.
The other thing that bothered me was the fact that I was getting all kinds of ass thrown at me on a regular basis, yet I found a way to resist the temptation. I’m not talking every now and then. It was constant. I’m talking, Justin Timberlake, celebrity levels of pussy being Hail Mary tossed in my direction. Maybe I’m exaggerating slightly, but it sure seemed that way when I was saying “No thanks” to all of those women. I turned down more ass over the course of those 5 1/2 months than most men get offered in a lifetime. I was Mr. Faithful, Long-Distance Lover Man. At least until the weekend after that phone call.
After the call on a Wednesday night, I ended up fucking this 31 year old lady that Friday night, and a 22 year old with really nice legs that Saturday. Granted, It was fun doing my thing with those two(especially the 31 year old), it did not really make me feel any better. If anything, I felt more screwed up, because I was trying to figure out whether I had done it strictly for revenge, or slightly because I hadn’t had any in damn near 5 months. Either way, I never told Law School Girl about either one of them.
When I finally went to visit her out there, the first two days were cool, but the way she acted on New Years Eve was the straw that broke the Camel’s back. We went to a party where the only folks I knew in the place were Law School Girl, my sister in LA, and her husband at the time. So we’re all in the party mingling and drinking a little bit, and Law School Girl saw a couple of guys she knew. I didn’t pay it any mind since I was talking and joking around with family. That is, until I saw the way they started dancing with each other.
Law School Girl was all over this dude. Trust me, I party a lot, so I know what counts as dancing and what counts as “I’m trying to fuck you tonight” on the dancefloor. It was definitely the latter. At one point, the were grinding, and she got down to the floor and basically had her face in this guy’s crotch. That’s when I turned from “Laid Back Leon”, to “The Hustleman”, then to “The Black Incredible Hulk”, all in the span of about 15 seconds. I got so mad I was literally seeing red. I’d only gotten mad enough to see red one time before, and that was because a dude tried to sucker punch me in a mall parking lot. Even then, I beat the brakes off that fool in front of a crowd of strangers and his girlfriend right there in the lot. This time, I tried my best to stay calm, but that shit was not working.
Folks knew we came to the party together, and just looked at me and shook their heads like “Damn.” I walked over to both of them with a look of pure hate and sheer anger in my eyes. Dude she was dancing with saw this look, so he said “Excuse me” and got away as fast as he could. I grabbed her arm hard as a motherfucker and told Law School Girl to go outside. Once we got out there, I laid into her verbally. I didn’t hit her, but if words were fists, that chick would have been in a full-body cast. She tried to say they were just friends and dancing and drinking, but I wasn’t hearing that shit.
Once we both went back in the party, my sister and her husband checked on me to make sure I didn’t commit any felonies since they saw how I strong-armed her off the dance floor. Once I got through reassuring them that nothing violent occurred, I was told by one of the other partygoers that Law School Girl left somewhere with that guy she was dancing with. When she came back a half-hour later, she had the nerve to get mad at me for sitting next to some other chick on a love seat, even though I wasn’t doing shit but complaining and hoping this woman could find me a good reason why I shouldn’t grab Law School Girl and shake the shit out of her to the point that her grandchildren would be epileptic.
The last couple of days in LA with her were pretty awkward. We would either argue, not speak, or end up fucking just because it didn’t require us to talk. She tried to be friendly, but I couldn’t help but be distant at that point. The only reason I was even civil to her after that night was because her apartment was closer to everything in the city and I didn’t want to have to inconvenience my sister and family by crashing at her place for my last two days out there. It was so bad, that the night before my flight back, she decided that the only movie she was in the mood to watch was “Final Destination.” You know it’s bad when you go from being lovey-dovey a few days before, to wishing someone a fiery death in a plane crash.
Once I got back to Maryland, I just went on about my business and stopped calling her. She didn’t call me either, so I just let it go. Then, one fateful night about 6 months later, my stepbrother James talked me into drunk-dialing her. He took the phone away from me and started talking to her first, but she asked to speak to me. She then got mad at me for never calling her until that moment. Then she got even more mad when she realized I was shit-faced drunk. Ah well…That’s what she gets for wishing me hot airplane death. I haven’t heard from her since, but my stepfather saw her in Detroit about a year ago. He says she’s achived her goal of becoming a lawyer, but she gained a bunch of weight and barely even looks like the same person. It’s weird, because despite all the bullshit, I don’t really get any pleasure in knowing that she fell off physically. I would have rather she had stayed hot, so when folks see her, they’d look at me and be like “you were hitting THAT?! GOOD SHIT!!!” Alas, I’ll just have to live with the memories and digital photos.
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24 Responses to “After The Love Is Gone”
Man, that staying-in-the-room-after-a-fight shit is the worst. I met this girl when I was travelling in europe and we almost fcuked. We kept in touch by phone and I flew out to Philly to see her. We weren’t getting along the whole weekend and I couldn’t fly out ’till sunday night so I was stuck there. I couldn’t even tell her what a bitch I thought she was ’till sunday ‘cuz I didn’t want to sleep in the park.
Lesson learned: always have a Plan B for long distance hookups.
By HomeImprovementNinja on Jul 11, 2006
I think the real moral of the story is that long distance relationships (LDRs)often suck. 90% of them. They end badly with trust issues or just someone can’t take the “make up to break up” feel of seeing your significant other for a weekend and then going without them for a month.
Another 5% end with a bad local relationship because long distance relationships never mirror local ones. That includes those who marry stupidly after dating long distance.
The other 5% are some lucky SOBs.
God help those crazy LDR folks.
By Hassan on Jul 11, 2006
I avoid LD’s like the Black Death…Seeing someone you used to be biblical with who fell off is only good when you’re still kinda pissed at them…especially if you’re out and you look great.
By Amadeo on Jul 11, 2006
The fact that she was mad at you for not calling for so long shows that she was thinking of your more than you were of her. Had you not been drunk you probably wouldnt have called her anyway so you got over her pretty quickly.
You have to tell that whole parking lot beatdown story its own post and dont spare any details. I have a feeling it’s gonna be another Leon classic.
By Greg on Jul 11, 2006
wow… i just realized how LITTLE dating experience I have… was with the loser for my entire adult life 17-26 and only been single about 4 months… is this the bs I have to look forward too? uhg.
By jirzygurl on Jul 11, 2006
@ Homeimprovementninja, truer words were never spoken!
@ Greg, I wrote that story before. Check it out here
http://listentoleon.blogspot.com/2005/05/why-i-hate-being-wingman.html
@ Jirzygirl, NJ and DC really aren’t all that far apart if you think about it…Heh heh heh ;)
@ Hassan, God bless every one of ‘em, bro
You’re right @ Amadeo
By Hustleman on Jul 11, 2006
long distant relationships suck. point blank. if you aren’t willing to move pronto to where the other person is, then forget about. also law school girl definetly didn’t just “kiss” dude, but i’m sure you know that casue if she did, she wouldn’t have told you. It always seems that that once you are in a relationship, that is when all the guys/girls come out the woodwork throwing the goods at cha. I never understood why that was.
By starlicious dee on Jul 11, 2006
“…and shake the shit out of her to the point that her grandchildren would be epileptic.”
Leon, that line KILLED me. I think I love you! LOL!
Be happy you ended things with Law School Freak. Is there any chance of you getting in touch with Angela again? LOL
By Miss Rei on Jul 11, 2006
Honestly, I am a woman and some of the shit we do derserves some “shakin” to lol hhahah I dont know how I get away with shit I do to my own man lol Love this post Leon!!
By SAILOR MOON on Jul 12, 2006
Wow. Leon, that was a great entry. I really enjoyed it. It really shed some light on things…
By Anonymous on Jul 12, 2006
I thought I was one of the only ones who ever experienced a relationship ending with each other just really not calling.
@homeimprovementninja – PLAN B best summarizes lots of situations in life. It should be the name of a book and a movie
By HowardHoney on Jul 12, 2006
Great. Now I’ll have Earth Wind and Fire stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
By Hassan on Jul 12, 2006
great blog, you bought your a-game leon.keep it up
By big_ace on Jul 12, 2006
I can’t help but think that you are responsible for the weight gain. Its funny how in relationships, we beg our mates to be honest with us, but when we are “things fall apart”. Its like, “I only told you that your breath stinks, you’re breaking up with me for that”….
By eclecticspace on Jul 13, 2006
@ jirzygurl: YUP!
leon. this shit was both sad and funny at the same time. i’m starting to realize what my friends mean about my telling a serious story but it somehow ends up humorous
By Furious on Jul 13, 2006
well that ending was sad, but yeah the long distance thing isn’t that great and its really silly when you think about it, you miss out on a lot of relationship perks.
By brwn_eyes_brwngirl on Jul 13, 2006
Damn – That is some triflin’ shit… my boyfriend would do the same thing but I would never disrespect him like that in the first place.
Leon just scaring the shit out of folks…
…but I ain’t scared. :P
By Erica on Jul 13, 2006
Anyone who’s stupid enough to dance like that in front of someone they’re supposed to be dating, deserves to have the shit shaken out of them. period. Nothing against you Leon but if she was gonna run that game, why wait till you’re standing in front of her to do it? She must have done that on purpose.
I find it totally satisfying when someone falls off physically.. I’ve worked really hard to look good, so it’s sweet revenge to see them.
By Ms. Adventures on Jul 13, 2006
@ Starlicious Dee, someone told me that when you’re taken, your demeanor changes and the opposite sex can usually tell. Or at least that’s what I was told
@ Miss Rei, I haven’t seen Angela in years, and the last time I did see her, she was pregnant. I’m not feeling to optimistic about that one, my friend
@ Kikimia, thanks, and I’m glad you see the value of a good shaking :)
@ Anonymous, glad you liked it ;)
@ Big Ace, Thanks
@ Hassan, that’s what IPods are for, my friend
@ Howard Honey, you are not alone! And that Plan B stuff is TRUE
@ Eclecticspace, I didn’t shovel food down her throat these past few years, so it’s not my fault! One of her Cali friends should have staged an intervention.
@ Cos, yeah, I couldn’t make it just sad, because there were funny parts to the story. Not funny AT THE TIME, but funny now :)
True @ Brwn_Eyes_Brwngirl
@ Erica, you better be, dammit! :)
@ MsAdventures, she claimed she was drunk…and to be honest, she was a lightweight as far as drinking, but still. If two drinks is all it takes to get this girl’s face is random people’s crotches on dancefloors, then I made the right decision kicking her to the curb, sheeeeeit.
By Hustleman on Jul 13, 2006
It would’ve been nice to hear you comment on the drama that spew forth from Cali….dang..
By Jenny on Jul 13, 2006
oh you totally made the right decision! I think the drunk excuse is lame unless you’re on the border of passing out or something, otherwise most people still know what they’re doing… so whatever. And yea if all it takes is two drinks, she should seriously think about not drinking at all.
By Ms. Adventures on Jul 14, 2006
wow first of all i can connect with how angry you were at the dancing. I was done the same way at a club my ex took me to on my birthday! MY BIRTHDAY…like damn he couldnt control him self for at least one night! I took the liberty of trying to get back at him in the worst way by sleeping with his best friend. I WAS 19! young and stupid..im not a whole lot older but i have learned that revenge sex gets you no where. It only makes you look as bad as they do and no one can walk away from the situation looking any better than the other. as karma would have it his friend ended up having a girlfriend and i felt dumb as hell. hate to say it but when u got with them two chicks…karma smacked u in the lip with the dancing incident. thats why to this day i will never justify cheating. even if someone cleary screwed around on me i keep my composure so one day when that fool tries to get back with me and i say “you cheated on me” he will never have the satisfaction of saying “you did it too”
By Peach on Aug 16, 2006
damn son, that’s a moving story, but further convinces me of the futility of long-distance relationships, especially coast-to-coast. yeah, i would prefer she stays hot, that way you still reap benefits years down the road.
By Philo KIng on Nov 13, 2007
Thanks Philo King. I appreciate you checking out some of the writing in the Greatest Hits section. Long Distance relationships are extremely hard to maintain.
By Hustleman on Nov 14, 2007