I would like to start this off by thanking everyone who voted for me in the 2006 Black Weblog Awards. Thanks to your votes, I now hold the “Best Humor Blog 2006″ title!
Now, on to the thank yous…Killa Cal for starting me off blogging. My parents, for having sex and not using a rubber…God, of course…My friends and family for the love and support, and last but not least, all of the folks like you who come back to read the foolishness that I put on here. I greatly appreciate it.
I’ll be back witrh some labor day weekend and high school class reunion jokes later this week. I just wanted to let you all know that the votes were not in vain.
Oh yeah, I need you all to submit your best/worst pickup lines on here. I will keep my word and video myself using them on area women and then put the video on here. Just leave the pickup lines in the comments section. I look forward to seeing what you all leave for me to use.
I knew you were gonna win i voted for you a bunch of time congrad and keep making us laugh
congrats man u earned it..now for the pick up line
hey dou have any african in you?[upon reply which is usally no] you reply ‘would you like to’.
Hahah Everyone knew you’d win! Anyways, I have a pick up line that worked on me because I was underage and was ain desperate need of cigerettes:
My then supervisor at the time (boyfriend currently now for 5 yrs)
noticed that I smoked, I was 17 at the time and one day he had the courage to speak to me and asked me if I smoked (when i was smoking a cig!) I scoffed and said OBVIOUSLY,,,he walked away with hands in pockets … then later that week I ran outta my teenager-phased “Bitches n Hoes” Benson and Hedges Ultra Lights long…soo I walked up to him and said “Sgt ______, have a cig on hand that I can have?”
His answer : ” Yes, but ONLY IF I CAN HAVE ONE WITH YOU”….yeap…thats it… I must say it worked only because this opened up the casual smoking partner theme that progressed further once I turned 18 and he finally asked me out… SOoo in conclusion…become a smoker and if the girl you like smokes —chain smoke with each other and you will find yourself having interesting conversations about everything and can eventually lead up to a hook up. In my case it took 3 months until I turned 18 to be asked out appropriately to avoid incarceration lol..think about it. lol
kikimia
Congrats!
congrats?
as for the pick-up line: I don’t feel like retyping it, so if you want this, you’re gonna have to work for it: I wrote about one of my all-time favorite pick-up lines here…
I don’t know how tall you are, ’cause I think that one only has potential if you are a tall man… then again I guess I might be even funnier if you’re short…
Congratulations! Well deserved. I think you should put that award logo on a T Shirt. I’m sure it will get you free lap dances at the house. :-).
Congrats on your win! You deserve it…I have my 2 best friends hooked on this blog.
AWFUL pick-up lines (all used – to no avail – on me)
1. Asking me to help find his car(kinda creepy)
2. Taking the phrase on my shirt and using it against me (Example: using my shirt that says “I already forgot your name” to tell me “let me write down my name and number so you won’t forget again”)
3. Trying to take advantage of my kindness/pity by pretending to have (or actually having) limited use of the English language (on several occasions, both Hispanic and African men)
4. Asking why my boyfriend isn’t helping me during random tasks (Examples: taking out the trash, moving objects, carrying groceries) to find out if I have one
5. Telling me that he is going to Iraq in a month and wants to spend his last weeks at home with a beautiful lady (I cracked up at that one)
6. Trying to offer his services in things he knows little about (in this case, choosing a shampoo that adds body and shine lol)
7. First trying to convince me to buy his homemade CD, then telling me that I can get it free in exchange for my number (er, no…lol)
8. Telling me that he needs my cell phone number for a survey that he’s doing of local residents
And those are just some the ones I have experienced since I moved to DC…so good luck w/ your pick-up line video. These DC guys are so persistent, I think the local girls might be immune lol.
Well, since this is s’posed to be as embarrasing as possible, cop these on camera:
1. Ask the bartender for some ice, place it on the counter besides the chick and smash it wit your fist, then go: ”Now that we’ve broken the ice, what’s your bra size?” (Please note, I figure this could work just as well outside of a bar environment if you walked around wit some ice in your pants.)
2. This is a potential harrasment suit in the making and a very possible beatdown if she’s got backup. However, that would liven up the vid too so, what heck. Walk up to a girl and start massaging her leg, then look up at her and say ”girl, you must be tired coz u’ve been runnin through my mind all day.”
3. Give her a quarter and ask her to call her moms coz she won’t be comin home tonight
4. ”Girl you’re wearing that outfit; but it would look even better on my bedroom floor.”
5. Say this real fast: ”Iwannafuckyouwannafuck?”
6. Lissen here dimer, If you let me break it off up in ya, I’ll do a post about you on my Award winning Blog. I can make you famous!
Congrats on the Win… I knew you would.. I voted so many times…
Congrats on winning…
here are some pick up lines…
(Classic)
1.Girl your feet must be tired cause you been running through my mind all day.
2.Your name must be Angel cause u look so Heavenly
3.If I could rearrange the letters in the alphabet I’d put U and I together.
4.Girl your daddy must be a drug deal, cause you are dope
5. Guy says: You dropped something…
Girl says: What?
Guy says: Our conversation so lets pick it up right here
6.Do you have a quarter, so i can call my mama and tell her I found the woman of my dreams.
7.(This one may be a little corny) Walk up to the girl and show her a rose then say “I just wanted to show my Rose how beautiful you are.”
8.(I lied and told a guy I’m three months pregnant..which I’M NOT…Anyways this is what he said) Girl says: I’m three months pregnant I can’t give u my number
Guy says: Oh forreal you plan on keepin it cause if not we can hook up later on.
9. You wanna make a trade…a piece of me for a piece of you.
10. I seemed to have lost my phone number…can I have yours.
Congratulations sexy U had my vote!!!!Keep up the good work hope to see ya in 2007
Congrats, Leon! Now don’t let that already abnormally large head get any larger.
LMAO at some of these lines!!! ahhahaaaa
congrats bruh.. I knew u could do it :)
Hmm I can’t remember I need to go through my blog to find that pickup line I heard on the subway…
definitely if its a girl not from the area.. tell her she a beast.. ;) the guy that told me that got punched in da jaw but I later apologized and bought him a drink when I found out it was a compliment LOL
Dude I am proud of you like it was my OWN site…that’s real…
It makes me want to do something with my old ghosttown of a website!
Anyway here is my line that I heard Raj tell the one med school chick at SNMA 2000….
this MUST be whispered loudly into her ear…
“I’d like to take you home and fuck the dog shit out of you right now….”
If that doesn’t work, anything from Anchorman like,
“you have an absolutely breathtaking heiney..I mean that thing is good” (don’t say heiney though…say ass….)
“I wanna be on you”
“let’s go out for a little chicken, a nice movie, maybe a little sex”
you get the drift!
Congrats again and thanks for the shout out!
Congrats, like I said this weekend your time is coming and this may be the break you have been waiting for. Stay focused and LET’S GET IT!
Pick up line: “Excuse me, your name must be Wine or China cause you sure are fine”
Congrats…
Cheesy pick up line:
Give her your number and say someone told you she loves cunning linguists.
I guess you’d have to use that on someone educated.
Finally, the person I voted for actually WON!!! Congratulations Leon…you’ve inspired me to think deeply about actually posting my own work on my blog LOL
On to the pickup lines: (the worst, cause they’re the funniest)
1.”Ay girl, you finer than a MF. Feel like havin’ my kids?” (heard on a college campus…be prepared to maintain your sexy)
2.Guy asks me “What are you attracted to in a man?” I respond “Intelligence.” His response “Well, you know, E=MCsquared” (may be difficult to execute but still funny, gotta make a serious face with the response)
3. This one could catch someone a case. “You sure are beautiful. Can I call you sometime? I’m almost 18 but my momma don’t care.” See who takes you up on it…then turn them nasty molesters into Oprah for a reward.
4. my favorite…from a woman… “You don’t really like d@ck do you? Let me help you change your mind.” (ofcourse you’re gonna have to change that up in order to effectively swaggerjack a lesbian.)
Finally, the person I voted for actually WON!!! Congratulations Leon…you’ve inspired me to think deeply about actually posting my own work on my blog LOL
On to the pickup lines: (the worst, cause they’re the funniest)
1.”Ay girl, you finer than a MF. Feel like havin’ my kids?” (heard on a college campus…be prepared to maintain your sexy)
2.Guy asks me “What are you attracted to in a man?” I respond “Intelligence.” His response “Well, you know, E=MCsquared” (may be difficult to execute but still funny, gotta make a serious face with the response)
3. This one could catch someone a case. “You sure are beautiful. Can I call you sometime? I’m almost 18 but my momma don’t care.” See who takes you up on it…then turn them nasty molesters into Oprah for a reward.
4. my favorite…from a woman… “You don’t really like d@ck do you? Let me help you change your mind.” (ofcourse you’re gonna have to change that up in order to effectively swaggerjack a lesbian.)
congrats. I voted
PICK UP LINES…..
Girl that must be jam cause jelly dont shake like that.
Girl, you have a pretty smile come with me and let me give you something to grin about.
Girl,let me get inside that skirt and see, just how big that but is.
lol
Pick up lines…
How bout.. “Damn, Tatertits you so fine! I bet your nipples taste like apples!”
If you can pull this one off you are the MAN.
Hassan
congrats…. i definitely voted for you a couple of times… i can’t wait to see this video. i’m over here dying just from reading some of these pick up lines…
Congrats!!
As for pick up lines?? I don’t have any. But on Saint Patrick’s Day, I had a lobbyist roll up to me with his hand out-stretched and say, “I don’t think you’ve ad a chance to meet me yet.”
Congrats yo. I’m not too big on the pick up lines, but I am sure you can make this one work.
Walk up to her as you admire her from head to toe, and tell her, “Girl, you are finer than frog hair split four ways.”
Happy to see you win because I can’t wait for the pick up lines as I know your way to brazen to not use them…lol
anyways, my favorite goes;…. “Do you have a mirror in your pocket, cause I can see myself in your pants”…it gets better if you tell the girl “no, really what size are those, I’ll know I look good in those” (nothing makes me happier than seeing someone think your hitting on them with a bad pick up line only to later find out, your just making jokes about their fashion sense..but your not gay so…I don’t expect you to perform that one)… but funny thing I once did do a post on pick up lines… check out a few…
I lost my phone number can I have yours?
Here’s one so bad, it’s well, bad.
“Damn, can I call you phonics ’cause I’m sure hooked on you”.
*sigh* I warned you didn’t I? Vive le Hustleman, vraiment, I’m glad you won. Congratulations.
What’s Good Leon!!! Just stoppin’ by to give you HUGE Congrats on your Victory! (I knew You’d win!)
-Mikah!
Okay Great pick up line…Let’s see…
***I got money in the bank, Shawty what you drank!***
Yes I know it’s a song…but hey it works!!!
damn i’m late! congrats man :)