Before I get started cracking jokes, I’m going to say something serious for a moment. Today is the official album release day for W. Ellington Felton, a local DC musician whose boundless creativity and musical sensibilities pretty much defy genre categorization. Some would call him neo-soul. Some might say hip hop. Others may say spoken word. Whichever you choose, all would agree that he’s talented and extremely versatile. His latest CD, titled “Outrospective: Me then, Me Now” explores all aspects of love, from initial infatuation to uncertainty, passion to heartache, and all things in between. If you’re interested in listening to some of his music or picking up a copy for yourself, check out W. Ellington Felton’s Myspace page.
http://www.myspace.com/wellingtonfelton
Ok, now it’s time to talk about myself. I’m just going to put the first thoughts that come to mind up here, since I am waiting for a crtain cousin of mine addicted to wearing pictures of himself on his clothing to send me some photos from the crazy adventures of Saturday night. Since he’s taking his time sending the one photo which I know you all would love to see(among plenty of hilarous ones), I need to talk some other trash in the meantime.
I was going to wait and drop this bomb on you all at once, but changes are on the way. You all should enjoy the new stuff I will be bringing to the blog. Imagine the craziness that you call ListenToLeon, only on steriods.
No, I’m not on the juice. That was a metaphor, for all you slow people that think I’ve been going to the gym with Jose Canseco and Floyd Landis. I heard steroids cause the wang to shrink. I don’t know about you all, but that’s enough reason for me to never touch the stuff. My johnson is like Thor’s mighty hammer. I need it at full strength to perform feats of wonder and astonishment.
Even thouhg I’m not messing with performance enhancing drugs, I am working out more now than I was before. I’m gonna start going hard like Ravishing Rick pretty soon. I plan on coming to the club with a microphone and telling all the women to get away from their fat, potato-chip eating couch potato men and take a look at what a REAL MAN is supposed to look like, as I open up my shirt, Black Fabio-style. Right now, I’m one of the couch potato people, though. Give me about a month to get it together.
Someone told me yesterday that I don’t look like I can f*ck. This is the curse of having an innocent-looking face. Well, it’s a blessing and a curse, because women get caught off-guard when Mr. Mild-Mannered does things to them that they didn’t even know they liked. This is good, but the whole process consists of way too much trash talk and sexually-charged overconfidence on both sides. Why can’t two people just connect on some beautiful sh*t, without all that extra nonsense? That’s right. Men are from Mars and women are spawns of Satan.
Wait a minute. That came out a little harsh. I meant to say, 82% of all women are devil seeds. If you’re a woman who reads this blog, it’s a good chance you’re in the 18% who were not spit out of Lucifer’s fiery womb. You are the chosen ones. Be proud.
I’m officially down to my last pair of draws. I said I’d never let it get to this point again, but it has. I will be at the laudromat this evening, because I cannot go through what I had to endure a few months back. It’s too breezy outside these days to go Commando. Besides, it’s just not cool.
I am getting ready to call someone and say “Where my money bish?!” but not in those words. Gotta get in my corporate pimp frame of mind.
Was I the only one thoroughly amused by Bill Clinton getting in that Fox News guy’s @ss the other day during that interview? Man, that was funny. Bill refused to be pushed around and basically called out the entire network’s credibility. I wanted to give him a high five after watching that. We all know Bill isn’t perfect, then again no politician is. I do respect the way that he decided to cut through the rhetoric and say what he really feels about the state of the world today and why it is the way that is it.
Ruben Studdard got the Rick Ross thing going on now with that beard. They could be half-brothers. That is, if Sasquatch were roaming through the South in the late 70′s/early 80′s having illegitimate children with black women.
Maybe that was a tad bit mean…ah well.
Was today’s entry random enough for you? Hopefully, like gumbo, all of the various topics will come together to make an enjoyable experience. If not, I’ll go ahead and change the title of today’s entry to “Blog Slop”.
” I meant to say, 82% of all women are devil seeds. If you’re a woman who reads this blog, it’s a good chance you’re in the 18% who were not spit out of Lucifer’s fiery womb. You are the chosen ones. Be proud.”
Lord jesus hunnie was it something i said??? Do you need a hug??
Well i’m happy to be in the 18%. i def didn’t come from lucifer’s fiery womb, and i do read this blog faithfully.
Can’t wait for the pics.
oh yeah….. the ” you have a sweet/childish face” is crap. I get that alot. But i’m still in a drought, so nobody will really know “what’s goin’ down”.
i would like to seccond that to dee-lish…i am also in a drought…and i also look 5 years younger than i really am sometimes…so that could also be why im not getting any…and gettin holla’d at by 15 year olds…so sad :(
I haven’t read the post but figured Id address the music piece first efore I forgot. Dude is entertaining. Did I ever tell you about the time he sang to me at the old Juste Lounge?? So you know it had to be years ago. Think he will ever make it BIG-BIG?
I can’t remember how I ended up here a few weeks ago, but I’m glad I did. You are truly talented.
And I got a new job today! How about it. Have to tell the world.
@ peach…
getting hollered at by a 15 year old is……. good yet bad. you look young enough to get the “holla”, but then it’s like, are only the youngin’s gonna holla? Where are the GROWN MEN, DAMMITT?
the frustration is coming out my pores. Proactive can’t help this.
rick ross and ruben…ha ha…
it’s sad you point that out, but it is so true. lol
@ dee-lish…yes its a blessing and a curse…see i look young…witch will come in handy one day…but if im gettin aproached by 15 year olds who think im in their age range, then what are the older dudes thinkin when they walk up to me? R they tryna get at some highschool stuffin??? hmmm makes me wonder..and yes..its aggrivating
Some mind told me NOT to click on the link to your previous entry. But my curiosity got the best of me and all I can say is I am SOOOO, glad I wasn’t buzzing (puff, puff pass) when I read that. Leon you are a fool! and I mean that in the nicest, sweetest way (smiling, but in the back of my mind saying…he could get it). I started out a while back checking out your entries from when you first started blogging, but because I was at work & buzzing when I was reading them, I couldn’t finish (I was drawing to much attention to myself from laughing so hard & loud…with my office door closed). So when I get off work today, I’m going home and get my buzz and drink on and finish checking out the other entries. Hopefully I won’t be found dead in the morning from lack of oxygen (laughing so hard).
@ Peach, it’s not your fault LOL
@ Dee-Lish, you read regularly, so you’re a good one ;) With a cute little baby face
@ Hostess, I really don’t blame him for singing to you :) I think he could make it big, but I don’t think he’s going to want to compromise his art to do it. If he does, it’ll probably have to be on his terms.
Thanks for the compliment @ Anonymous, and congratulations!
@ Brwn Eyes, I saw him on 106 and Park last week, and that was the first thought that crossed my mind.
@ DigThis, thank you! Write back so that I know you survived your night of drinking and blog reading
Beautiful teen girls
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Sounds crazy. I want to improve my wagging weight Do you want a joke? :) What do you call a monster with no neck? The Lost Neck Monster.