I don’t remember if I’ve told you all the story about when Pay-Pay and the rest of my friends jumped me in 3rd or 4th grade. It’s a good one, so you will enjoy it. I thought about it since one of said ass-whippers left his “Play Lotto” trademark on here in the comments section yesterday. @ Jimmy, Hope you can still make it out this Friday. All of the details are already taken care of, bro.
The friends I made back when I lived in the Mayfield section of Fredericksburg, VA will always be a part of me, whether I’m near or far. This is mainly because we got into so much ignorant foolishness back in the ’80s when I was a youngster. The crew that I ran with consisted of these four individuals: Pay-Pay, the boldest member of the crew; Rodney, the fastest and most impulsive; Jimmy, the enforcer, who was bigger than the rest of us by far, and yours truly, the comic relief.
Our group sort of had a lot in common with the current crop of rappers out now. About every other week, somebody among my friends would have beef with someone else and it would result in a fist fight and war of words. The only difference was we always ended up friends again, instead of going the rap route and recording a diss record or shooting someone. About the closest things we did in comparison to making diss records were cracking mother jokes, or calling someone an African booty-scratcher. Back in the ‘80s, those were fighting words. To this day, I do not know why being an African booty-scratcher was considered worse than being an Italian booty scratcher, or a Puerto-Rican one. I guess that will remain one of life’s mysteries. All I know is, when someone called you that, you had to at least throw a punch or your friends would tease you and say that you went out like a sucker.
Pay-Pay has had a receding hairline since birth. So whenever he would say something negative to someone, the first thing we would do is call him George Jefferson head. One time at school, I got too happy with the George Jefferson jokes, and Pay-Pay threatened to get his gang on me. Little did I know, he told Rodney, Jimmy, and Big Carlos from up the street that I was making fun of each of them too. That evening when I got off the school bus to go home, all four of them were waiting at the bus stop to jump me. My cousin Jamaal was with me, so I pulled him to the side before leaving the bus. I said, “Jamaal, they’re going to try to beat me up. You hit Rodney, then hit Pay-Pay. Rodney will start crying and run away when you hit him because he can’t fight. If you keep Pay-Pay busy, I can focus on Jimmy and Big Carlos since they’re the big ones.”
The plan didn’t exactly go as it was supposed to. I got off the bus, and looked at Jamaal. Then I looked at the four kids waiting to stomp a mudhole in my ass. Then I looked back at where Jamaal was standing, and saw nothing. My cousin hauled ass and left me there to fight four people by myself. About the only part of that plan which went the way it was supposed to was me hitting Rodney and him starting to cry. They KICKED MY ASS out there at that bus stop. The only noteworthy thing I did was break Pay-Pay’s calculator watch. It was a bad move, though, because Pay-Pay took it out on me with extra passion and conviction. It took an old church lady to come by and chastise my attackers for the beating to stop.
By the time I made it back to my grandma’s house, I had a bloody nose and my shirt was pretty torn up from being punched and pulled in every direction. I still had enough left in me to punch Jamaal upside his head for leaving me there. I think the only reason that punch was effective is because Jamaal nearly gave himself an asthma attack running away from the fight the way that he did. My Grandma even said that he tried to warn her about the fight, but could not get the words out.
Apparently, Jamaal ran up to my Grandma and attempted to say “Leon is being attacked two blocks up the street! Get help fast! Hurry!” but it came out more like “LEON!…FIGHT!…STREE!” between panting and gasping for air.
To this day, he denies that this series of events ever happened. So just take my word for it. He left me to get my ass whipped. He could have at least thrown his inhaler at someone’s head to create a diversion or something. Instead, he left me fend off the savages. Not that I’m bitter in 2006 over a childhood fight. It’s just a funny story to me. Even funnier because Jamaal still denies that it happened all these years later.
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awww poor funny man leon!! When i was in middle school I picked this other boy up and tried dropping him on his head…he accidentally kicked me in the nose and i ran home bleeding and crying. I guess it kinda backfired lol. Keep hittin the jim hunnie…jokes wont save your ass LOL
omg i did NOT spell gym like that…wow
Hapy Birthday Sexy!!!!!!!Too bad i wont be tehre to celebrate but have a Mojito on me Muah
What the hell is up with pissy ass little boys and fighting…damn!
‘He could have at least thrown his inhaler at someone’s head to create a diversion or something.’
LMAO! Classic…
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I did it!
“Beat him down…..Beat you down” (Classic line from Debo. Reference Friday the movie LOL!!!)
I think back to those days like damn we had a lot of pined up anger. LOL!!!
All in all, you and I ended up good friends after all that bullshit.
So if you ever got beef you got the number I’ll be more than happy to cook it for you.
How bout I buy you some drinks Friday to make up for the beat down(s) LOL!!!
That’s my dog…That’s my dog…That’s my dog (another Friday reference)
Plat Lotto!!!!!!!
My grandma probably would’ve been like “Let ‘em fight! Let ‘em fight!” (Making the Band ref)
“African-Booty-Scratcher” were fighting words when I was growing up in Cali too. I wasn’t much of a fighter growing up, but I knew how to throw various objects at people’s head.
PS–I was in DC & Murdaland last week celebrating Thanksgiving at my people’s house. I swear I saw you in Silver Spring on Friday night over by the movie theater and Borders in downtown. I didn’t want to say anything in case there was a misunderstanding. I guess we have twins everywhere.
shame jamaal doesnt even have a blog where he could defenfd himself.. or does he?
As an honorary patron of The Common Share Tavern, we would first like to wish you Birthday Felicitations. The owners (Chris and Ray) after much perusal of your wish list, have decided on the following items:
1. “The Complete Idiots Guide to Bartending.”
Keeping with our bar theme and…you know….We get it. Get ‘em drunk, get ‘em laid” Right?
2. “The Donny Hathaway Collection”
“Get ‘em drunk, get ‘em laid but, keep it sexy.’
I encourage everyone to give with all their hearts. Y’all better burry before all the items under $20 are gone.
We expect delivery in a few days. We’ll email you when they arrive.
We luv ya babee!!
Come by for your Christmas Party invite. You know you’re on the guest list. This year, What happens at The Share Christmas Party, stays at The Share Christmas Party”.
no you didn’t hit em with african booty scratcher! loves it. happy birthday to ya…be sure to kick it hard!
Oh, I am sooo hating that the Share loves you that much! A sister did get her picture on the wall, and Kelisa is the homey, but the bouncers started to be kinda mean to me after the time I punched a gentleman in the face. Wasn’t my fault. If I run in to you there, you gotta act like we friends so I can get some of that love, ok?
Question: Did/does Pay Pay introduce himself to people as Pay Pay? Or did he offer his real name until someone said “Quit lying! Negro,yo’ name is Pay Pay” I always wondered how people reffered to themselves with extra ghetto nicknames. Is he availible for an interview?
LMAO…..its safe to laugh aobut this now right, LMAO
Funny as usual! You should have your package by Monday at the latest. Don’t say the fine readers of ListentoLeon never sent you anything ;)
doc,
did i miss something, or did you say where the bday spot was this weekend? i’ve been thinking about that venture some more, that’s a real cash cow we missing out on.
esmoore
That’s funny @ Peach. I won’t even make fun of the way you spelled “gym” because of the pain and suffering you endured in your story
Thanks @ NegroPino. I definitely plan on it.
@ Anonymous, it’s a rite of passage with most boys…I don’t know
@ Synsational, thanks :)
@ “Play Lotto”, that works. You know, going through all that probably made us better friends. You gotta respect someone you’ve been thought THAT much sh*t with
@ Leon, I do go to that Borders a lot to work on my other writing projects, but I was in VA from Thurdsay until Saturday evening on Thanksgivig weekend. It must have been someone else.
@ Anonymous, I don’t think he does, but I could be wrong. He grew up to be a real cool guy. He probably wouldn’t run away and leave me hanging now.
@ The Common Share, I’m actually stopping by this evening around 6 or so with my little sister. I’ll definitely be at the Christmas Party, too. Thank you in advance for the presents. That’s really nice of you.
Thanks @ T.R.B.
@ Sister Toldja, I’ve been going there for YEARS. My brothr and I used to be the only black guys in the place back in those days…lol. I’ve been there through countless bartenders and a few diffrent owners. Chris and Ray are by far the best, because it’s definitely a better experience drinking there now than I used to be. Oh yeah, and Pay-Pay’s real name is Pedro.
@ KnowOne, it’s safe to laugh. That’s why I shared the story
@ B’Write, thank you :)
@ esmoore, I am about to address that in my next entry. Yeah, that idea is definitely a great one. We should make that happen for real.