*Theme music plays in the background as I walk onstage in a Nat King Cole-style smoking jacket, singing*
“Christmas-time is heeeeeere,
Lots of fun and cheeeeeeeer,
Cousins drinking beeeeeer,
That sweater looks real queeer,
Late shoppers who fiiiiiight,
Jesus was not whiiiiiiiite,
N*ggas stole my biiiiiiiike,
Come check out my siiiiiite”
Welcome, one and all, to the ListenToLeon Christmas Special. This is the time of year to spread goodwill and love to all mankind. Even the people who stink. I even extend my love to you filthy scumbuckets. Just don’t expect a hug from me.
Even my neighbors in Washington, DC are spreading holiday cheer. Check out the front door of my neighbors down the hall.
What kind of trifiling jackass actually hangs up a Christmas bow and keeps the cardboard package on it? The only reason I can think of for someone doing that is so they can try to return it the day after Christmas. That is beyond cheap. Especially since the bow looks like it came from the Dollar Store.
I hope everybody gets what they want for Christmas. I want to become friends with the former Miss Nevada, Katie Rees. She and her people look like they have a ball when they go out. Well, a ball, and hot lesbian action, which I have no problem with. In case you missed the news story, I’ll put a link to the photos which got her in trouble. Warning: These are NOT safe for work. Click here. I would like to see if she and the other Miss USA chick that’s been exposed recently are interested in hanging out this New Year’s Eve.
As far as Christmas gifts that I actuall have a snowball’s chance in Hell of actually getting, I want to remind you all that you can still order me stuff from my Amazon.com wishlist. I know everyone’s broke from Christmas shopping, but if you’re feeling generous, it would definitely make me smile. Once again, thanks to the folks who sent me things for my birthday.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2M6V8TIQDGFG1
*Theme music begins to play*
Ok, they’re doing that “Academy Awards” thing to me where the music come on mid-speech. I guess that means I am out of time. Merry Christmas everyone. Be safe.
Tweet
“Jesus was not whiiiiiiiite,
N*ggas stole my biiiiiiiike,”
*dead*
Yeah that Miss Nevada is something else. I swear that must be that white girl shit, cause I have never been drunk enough (or high enough for that matter) to have somenody take pictures of me doing some dumb shit like that.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night….at “The Share”.
Yes, we are not above shameless self promotion. Luv Ya Leon.
Love and Kisses to all
Chris an Ray
that little “theme song” fuckin killed me
I agree with Candace. I have never, EVER done that kind of crap especially in front of a camera. I have also never let myself get so drunk as to do something like that. I don’t think that’s a black thing at all.
Yo, Leon, let me borrow that Nat King Cole sweater, OK?
Wow….the dollar store Christmas bow with the tag still on it…..whew, I am crying over that one.
Happy Holidays to ya Leon! Thanks for a year of laughs.
OH MY GOD! Those are some graphic pictures! Yeah, shes a beauty queen, lol.
two things:
1. it’s a proven fact that white girls get drunk and turn gay. there’s just no disputing it.
2. if you actually want someone to buy you something from your wishlist, you need to add your shipping address to your profile. dork.
That song had me DYING, LMBAO!!!
Love the site. It’s my first visit, but trust I will be back for more!
Is it just me, or are peeps in DC just vehemently opposed to decorating their houses for the holidays? I’m sayin, back in Pittsburgh, I could just sit in the house at night and let the lights from the decorations around the neighborhood spill in. It provided…ambience. I guess.
Oh, and yeah, I’m late. I know. But it’s my first time stopping through, so I have an excuse.