Last weekend, I ate Thai food for the first time in years. I had been avoiding it because my last Thai food experience was not a good one. Last time, I ate some kind of overpriced chicken meal that left an aftertaste in my mouth reminicsent of Scope mouthwash, Wint-O-Green Lifesavers and Halls throat drops. The combination of strong, sinus-clearing flavors was too much for me to handle at once. Sunday, I decided to give Thai food another shot to redeem itself in my eyes.
I must say, this Thai experience was way better than the last. The food was great! Each appetizer was incredible, and the entree put that minty, menthol-liptus flavored chicken from the last time to shame. I was on cloud nine…Or so I thought.
During the course of my dining, I noticed the spices in the containers on the side for the food. I tried the first three, and everything was cool. The fourth one was another story altogether. I put a bunch of it on a piece of the chicken with some fried rice, and then took a bite. It was very colorful, so I should have known better. Even on the National Geographic channel, it shows that wild animals avoid messing with other creatures with bright colors, because they know they’re poisonous or at the very least pack one hell of a punch. Nonetheless, I let my guard down since the first three spices were good to me.
At first, everything was fine as I sat there listening to my friend on the other side of the table speaking. Then, my mouth started tingling. Shortly after the first sign of trouble, that tingle turned into a raging inferno. Next, my nose started running. I sniffled and then tried to play it off to avoid showing any signs of weakness. After awhile, I began shaking like I had Parkinson’s while I pretended to listen to her talk. Suddenly, I felt my left eye start to water. Once I realized that I was a hair away from possibly crying, I had to admit that I could no longer take the heat and drink as much water as I could get my hands on. It took at least 4 minutes and three glasses of water before I was back to normal. Whatever that coloful spicy stuff was, a little bit of it went a very long way.
When my taste buds returned to normal, I went back to eating the rest of my food. I left that hot seasoning stuff alone, though. I’ll eat Thai food again sometime soon, but next time, I’m sampling the spices in very small portions before applying them.
I’m crackin’ up! It reminded me of when my daughters father ate too much wasabi, a green very hot mustard, on his sushi, he claims to be a sushi expert, always constantly try’na get me to try the stuff, he gave me a long @$$ lecture on wasabi cause I didn’t know what the hell it was, then for effect…just to show off he puts a mound of it on top of his sushi, he sat there for a minute try’na play tuff, but I had seen enough comedy shows to know about wasabi, so I patiently waited…then all of a sudden FIRE roared out of his mouth and ears like something on the cartoons, he turned beet red and then his forehead was soaking wet…but unlike you he shedded a few tears…he said that the wasabi cleared his sinuses and when his sinuses are being cleared that his eyes tend to run…but my eyes were running too…from laughing at his retarded @$$…
You poor man.
Dayum. That sounds like my kid with the Suicide Wings. I thought she would’ve taken the hint when I told her that my nose hairs got singed by the stench of the bright orange wings, but noooOOOoo!
At least you didn’t start rocking back and forth like you were fresh out of ritalin.
Man, this is hilarious. I left Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and most things Asian cuisine alone a long time ago. I don’t like how every meat has the same consistency. Beef should not look and feel the exact same as chicken, or shrimp. I too love spicy foods, and I never want to admit something is too hot for me, but there was the one time at Hooter’s. I tried the hottest wings to prove that I could handle them with no incident. I was wrong. I took one bite of my boneless wings and instantaneously the direct center of my head just started itching. Then before I knew it, I was sweating like Michael Richards on stage at the Apollo. I lost. I hate conceding defeat. EVERYTHING is a competetion with me. Great post yo, as always.
I’m dying laughing!!!!!!!
Sounds like my experience at a Mexican restaurant and the hottest sauce in the world, habinjero (however the hell you spell it). I’ve learned after that to ask about the additives that are sitting on the table when they are saying “eat me”….lol
Will
Damn you’re in The Post AGAIN!!! Can you tell I’m jelous?
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/rawfisher/
Leon, this post made me cry!!! You are going to get my fired! I think you should just call it quits with the Thai food, homie. It doesn’t seem to be working for you..lol
that was funny as hell, damn leon!
LMAO did the girl notice that you were in agony??? thats crazy lol. Remember that movie along came polly when he ate that foreign shit and started sweating all over and damn near shit himself…im praying for you leon
Even on the NAtional Geographic channel, it shows that wild animals avoid messing with other creatures with bright colors, because they know they’re poisonous or at the very least pack one hell of a punch. Nonetheless, I let my guard down since the first three spices were good to me.
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Its tight that you even went to bat, a second time Leon.
Leon you are AWFUL!! That’s all I can say. (Laughing entirely too hard).
yes….
myspace is crack
that is why it is called mywaste
that said
I am a myspace whore
careful with those spices
and definitely keep Thai food in your list of options
Reminds me of the time the waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings brought me the damn near Blazin’ Wings instead of the Honey Bbq I ordered.
My lips just melted when that sauce touched them. ha ha My friend thought I was having a stroke, lol.
Glad I found your blog. You are hilarious.
I’ve had a couple experiences with Thai food, and to be frank, I’m done with it.
Gave me way too much indigestion. :( I’m getting sick thinking about it now.
How are you with Ethiopian food?
OK, I had to laugh at this one because I’m half Thai and I hated Thai food growing up (compliments of my mama) and much preferred the Soul food from my Daddy. I do however like Thai food now. But yes, they should warn you at the Thai restaurants. Thai spices and pepper is 10x hotter than any Mexican “hot” food and people have actually been known to die from it. I think it raises the blood pressure because everyone in my family who has high blood pressure eats a LOT of hot food. I like spicy but if something smells hot, it’s prolly too hot for me. Three time’s a charm so try the panang next time (my favorite).