I’m feeling good.
No…I’m feeling GRRRRRRREAT!
Since it’s another day where my swag is on a level that mere mortals such as yourself cannot begin to comprehend, I’m going to take the day off from blogging and let my ego speak for me once again. It’s been awhile since the last time I put the uncut thoughts from my ego in print form. I’ve been letting conscience and logic act as a filter, instead of just saying the first thoughts that come to mind, not giving a damn whether or not they are socially acceptable.
It’s Friday. I’m looking good. I’m smelling good. I have on clean underwear. I’ve already gotten my caffiene fix. Life is good, got damn it. I shall now get out of the way and let my ego speak:
Leon’s Unfiltered Ego
It’s one hell of a morning! Probably because I woke up and graced it with my presence. I think the sun waited on me to sh*t, shower and shave before deciding to show it’s face. It was a good decision, because had it started to rise before I gave it the O.K., I’d have to hitch a ride on the space shuttle and slap the sh*t out of it.
Yes, I’m capable of pimp-slapping the sun, so don’t test me. On that note, to the parts of the world that experienced a solar eclipse this morning, I offer my apologies. I had morning wood, and when I stood up to stretch, it got dark in Thailand. Ah well…Phuket.
Serena Williams’ ass has been looking pretty nice since she’s had this successful run in the Australian Open. She needs to let me hit that. Serena, if you’re reading this, I think I’m up for the challenge! I’ll take this racket of mine and serve up a few aces on your court. Then I’ll let you buy me something nice in return for all the pleasurable pleasures I gave you. We can do it like that scene from “A History of Violence.” Argue, then take our frustrations over to the staircase and f*ck it out!
*sniff sniff*
Something smells really good!
Oh, that’s just me. I’m walking around the office smelling like a French whore. I might have to go out tonight and let the rest of the city see what they’re missing! Then again, maybe I’ll just stay home, watch some NBA basketball and marinate in my own greatness, only to unleash it on the unsuspecting public tomorrow. I’ll just see how I feel later. Yeah…Let the world wait until I make up my mind!
I just thought about something. Some French whores don’t smell good. I was not referring to them. I was talking about the high-priced ones who bathe and use au de parfums and sh*t like that. Not the ones who have yet to discover the joys of deodorant.
That’s enough random shit talk for today. I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom: If you’re the type to actually say “F*ck Leon. He thinks he’s better than me”, then I probably am. Life ain’t fair. Get over it.
Have a nice weekend, and remember to check out “Fine Sh*terature” over on www.King-Mag.com
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Got damn homie! You had me dying over here with that talk.
“Pimp-slapping the sun”….LMAO!!!
Uh…yeah…it’s nice to pretend. :P We all know you wear Charlie from CVS and you shower, shave and shit in that exact order. LOL! That eclipse…Thailand didn’t pay their light bill…LOL!
From one Sage to another…get on wit your clean smellin’ balls…:)
It’s one hell of a morning! Probably because I woke up and graced it with my presence…… Now you have said a lot of shit before but that has to be the all time best right there.
I bow in front of you and kiss the pinky ring of the Don. LOL!!!!!!!
Real talk though I may have to steal that one!!!! LOL!!
Play Lotto!!
LMAO…You are too much! No really. You ARE too much!
I like your unfiltered alter ego…he’s sexy ;)
I’m laughing my ass off at this. Man you’re sooooooooo stoopid. Pimp slap the sun, huh??
baby, you are out of control *wink*