Mr Clean
Posted by ListenToLeon on
January 29, 2007
To all of you out there in Internetland, answer this question for me: What is Mr. Clean’s ethnicity?
I have wondered about that almost my entire life. That bald-headed, Harry Belafonte-looking fellow on the front of the household products has always had that racially ambiguous look about him. He’s light, but darker than the average white man. He could very well be a high-yellow black man. Or maybe some sort of hairless Middle Eastern. He’s not Asian, and he does not look to be Latino. Maybe he is white, but one of those Florida white guys who stay out in the sun so much that they start to look orange, like Hulk Hogan.
I know, I know…There are more pressing concerns for me to think about, but I have always wanted to know the answer to this. Mr. Clean is like the Vin Diesel of scrubbing products. He’s achieved mainstream popularity, yet his genetic makeup is a mystery. Sure, Vin Diesel could probably kick my ass faster than a make-believe, fake ass Tony Danza from “Whos The Boss” bamma like Mr. Clean. Still, Vin is no match for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. They can clean ANYTHING. I saw a priest perform an exorcisim once, and he used Mr. Clean Magic Erasers to sop up the demons that were devouring a young girl’s soul. Then he used the same Magic Eraser to clean off his Jordans.
Some might even say Mr. Clean is a greater ladies’ man than Mr. Belafonte and Mr. Diesel as well. You’ve seen the commercials. Mr. Clean pops up in the kitchen and rescues the lonely, overworked housewives. They swoon as the admire him scrubbing the floor in his pirate hoop earring and extra-shmedium t-shirt. There’s only one way for these horny, soap-opera watching women to pay good ol’ Mr. Clean back once the commercial goes off…and that’s to break him off something terrible!
So Mr. Clean, whatever your race is, keep on pimpin’.
22 Responses to “Mr Clean”
You can further the debate by looking at John Locke from LOST:
(I was going to post a pic, but you have HTML disabled… I certainly understand!) All he needs is an earring and a little extra eyebrow fuzz, and he’s a shoe-in.
By Tasha on Jan 29, 2007
It’s the bald head chicks did the baldie.
Play Lotto….
By Anonymous on Jan 29, 2007
Dude, Mr. Clean is white, he has blue eyes. I agree his skin does have slight orange tint to it, but I think it’s just a bad tan, or bronzer.
By Candace on Jan 29, 2007
Naw Candace,
Some black guys have blue eyes too. Its a mystery.
By teetbit8 on Jan 29, 2007
Now we all know that Mr. Clean is the result of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jy-zVlB4mvA
OT: Hustleman, I saw Norfolk State play here in the A at Battle of the Bands on Saturday. They might be giving HU a run for their money…
(ducks and dodges and runs off to Crunk & Disorderly before all the Pirates try to drop kick my ass).
By Leon on Jan 29, 2007
And another thing Leon, you are so right about the white folks in Florida being orange as hell. When I lived in Sunshine state, it seemed like almost all the old white people down there had skin like beef jerky. Not a good look at all.
By Leon on Jan 29, 2007
lol @ mr clean pimpin.
leon how often will your blog be updated on kings website?
By des on Jan 29, 2007
…Magic Eraser to clean his Jordans! *LMAO* If I were a priest, I’d probably rock a pair of J’s too.
By Silva on Jan 29, 2007
They purposely make his race difficult to determine. This way, he can easily appeal to even the racists.
By Hostess on Jan 29, 2007
My mama was a faithful Mr. Clean user. I always thought he was the cartoon version of Yul Brynner and that he was Thai (from Thailand like my mama) because he Brynner was so famous for his role in The King and I on film and on stage. Check out http://www.biography.com/search/article.do?id=9542628. He always had this silent yet strong demeaner – like he could kill germs with a stare. I found out later that Brynner is Russian.
BTW, Hope you don’t mind that i added you to my fav blogs.
By UAintNevaLied on Jan 29, 2007
OMG!!!!! That is freaking hilarious!!! LOLOL!!! Regardless…bald heads are HOT!! I’m mad MR. Clean is kinda hot?!?! IS that possible? LOL!
~Chevon~
By Anonymous on Jan 29, 2007
I have thought about it long and hard (homosexual pun most definitely not intended) and the only thing I could come up with is. Mr Clean is Italian. His real name is Guido, and he was raised in Venice, Italy. That would explain the blue eyes and darker skin. He’s actually in the mafia as well, he takes care of the clean up after the murders….. ahem… I mean, stern conversations that lead to suicides. I don’t want Tony and nem to come looking for me, so, I won’t go into any more detail. I may have already said too much. If none of you hear anything from me within the next 48 to 72 hours, I’ve gone to a better place…… Canada.
By J-Bigg on Jan 29, 2007
Everyone knows that Mr. Clean is Choctaw. Duh, lol….
By Economista on Jan 29, 2007
dude….I’m over here dying! How do you keep up the funny for so long??!?!
By The Killa Cal on Jan 29, 2007
I saw a priest perform an exorcisim once, and he used Mr. Clean Magic Erasers to sop up the demons that were devouring a young girl’s soul. Then he used the same Magic Eraser to clean off his Jordans.
lmao…you know your a fool…but I so love this laugh today. I always thought mr. clean was getting paid in booty dollars too, we know housewives don’t have cash for cleaning unless they get if from husband.
By brwn_eyes_brwngirl on Jan 30, 2007
I cant believe you really wrote about this. I forgot that we were talking about it the other day..lol
By Leigh on Jan 30, 2007
LOL@ —I saw a priest perform an exorcisim once, and he used Mr. Clean Magic Erasers to sop up the demons that were devouring a young girl’s soul. Then he used the same Magic Eraser to clean off his Jordans.
By Poetical Madness on Jan 30, 2007
i always thought he was a bald native american mix with something…shyt i dont know..but he doesnt look too white to me lol
By Peach on Jan 30, 2007
I dont give a shit what he is… Vin Diesel is just fucking hot!
By Lola Gets on Jan 30, 2007
funny!
http://thumbsnap.com/v/o8MnrS1O.jpg
kc
By Anonymous on Jan 31, 2007
I am an Italian mix and I have blue eyes and the dark skin. Me and Mr. Clean could be related! :O ;p
By Vaunda on Aug 12, 2009
@ Vaunda, send pictures to leon@listentoleon.net ;)
LOL
By ListenToLeon on Aug 13, 2009