Ladies and Gentlemen,
As the current cold front sweeps across the nation, I would like to ask you all one question: What did you do to get yourself ready to leave the house this morning? That is, assuming you got up for work. I’m sure a lot of people called in and used sick days.
Personally, I woke up and cut on the news, hoping that the federal government was closed today. When they don’t work, we generally don’t work, so that would haev been a blessing. Alas, I had no such luck.
I then tried to get up from my warm covers, but they tried to seduce me into staying in bed. Reports that it was going to be the coldest day in DC in 10 years did not help matters much. I had to resort to desparate measures: I turned on the theme from “Rocky” to get me going.
Usually, that works to get me ready for my workouts. Yes, I know it’s corny as hell, but I get hyped listening to “Eye of the Tiger” before I embark on my grueling workout. One day, I’m going to let someone follow me with a camera so I can make my own training montage like in all the 80′s movies of that sort.
The Rocky music didn’t work today though. I felt like a random bad guy in a Chuck Norris movie. If your character’s name is “Bad Guy in Sunglasses #3″, you know Chuck is about to whup your ass at some point in the film. That’s how I felt as I stared down the inevitable cold.
I had to resort to playing fight music to get me ready. DMX…Lil’ Jon…Three 6 Mafia…anything to get me ready to lay the smackdown on Mother Nature. I walked down to the front door, feeling like 1986 Mike Tyson. I had on five layers up top, three layers on my legs, three pair of socks, a skully and a scarf on. As a result, I whupped the cold like it stole something from me!
Then I got to work, and realized that I had a legitimate excuse to stay home since I have been coughing and sniffling all day. My sinuses are hitting me with all kinds of right hooks and uppercuts. I now feel like 2006 Mike Tyson, all broken-down and defeated. I may have won the early rounds, but the cold weather is coming back strong. Another fight, things ain’t right. I’m losin’ again. Takes a fool to lose twice, and start all over again. That’s why I think I better let it go. Looks like a cold-weather T.K.O.!
So yeah, if I catch the whooping cough and die, let me put my last will and testament on here for the world to see. I’m leaving the legal rights to all the stuff I’ve written to my mom and sister. They can reap the untold fortunes from my illustrious genius which alluded me in life. I’ll allow you, the fans to fight over the rights to my $237.42 fortune. Like seriously, fight over it. I have set up a UFC-style octagon for whoever thinks they’re the baddest(and is really pressed enough to whup someone’s @ss for $232.42) to go in there and show the world what you’re made of!
I’m taking cold medicine so it won’t come to that, but if it does, there should be no confusion from now on. None of that James Brown sh*t after I’m gone!
Tweet
Hope you feel better!!!
Why was the pot reduced by $5 in less than a few seconds?
lol…you know I didn’t even notice it went down by five…lol
I don’t think I’d fight for the fortune, but I would watch whoever is willing to fight for it…
I happy to say in colorado we finally got some sun…I dared to walk out the house in a not so heavy coat. 50 degree weather is nice, I hope you stay warm.
I feel your pain!! Yesterday it was -16 with a windchill of -30 today it was only -6 Milwaukee is no joke
Alright, Leon, straight to the ground you go. Yup, bypass the Apollo…
LOL!
Dude, take some Epicor. It’s a natural supplement to boost the immune system. Trust me, from someone who can catch a cold way too easy. You can get it from an alternative doctor or natural supplement store. It’s about $45 for month’s supply…I haven’t caught a cold/flu this season…hooray!!!
oh, by the way…Dr. Pressman (in nyc) is the man!!!!!
@ Peach, thank you. Cute profile photo. Is that your son?
@ Anonymous, I forgot that I have to get some shirts out the cleaners this evening!
@ Januari, glad it’s getting better in Colorado
@ Raven, I figured someone would feel my pain. It’s too cold in too many parts of the US right now!
@ Anonymous 2, I’ll definitely look into some Epicor and that Dr. you mentioned. Thanks
yeup thats my son…if you can see it, there is a vickie secret manican in the background. he litterally has that look of awe in his face. he was trying to take the panties off all the manicans LMAO
Yeah man.. I don’t know how cold it is DC, but Chicago is hell on
Earth right now. Just like the guy in Milwaukee, the temps down here have been averaging -25. Oddly enough, the crackheads and hoes have still been active. I would have thought that in the past week they would have called a time out. Then again, most of us downtown went to work so I guess everybody does what they have to do for their grind. Calling in sick wouldn’t do for me man, I cut the heat down low during the day to save some money at my house, so I push on with the grind.
Today is my first day back to work since last Tuesday, due to a cold/stomach issue. Let me tell you, that first blast of icy air in my lungs made me start coughing all over again! I didnt wear as many clothes as you did, cause Im taking cabs all day. I do hope you feel better soon.
Sheeit, “Eye of the Tiger” is the jam! Hell, I sing that song to myself sometimes. lol
L
Aww, feel better. It is 80 degress in LA right now. I’m not bragging! Cause that didn’t stop me from getting that real deal Ebola cold/flu something awful last week. You expect to catch a cold when it’s cold, but what happened to me was some bull**it!! I’ll pray for you Leon!
Back off!! That money will be better spent at The Common Share Tavern. See you at the bar Leon.
The money is mine. I’ll whoop all of yous guys. LOL!!!! Just ask Leon and do as you all do ever day and ‘Listen to Leon’.
Oh and Leon don’t worry I will use every cent of the dough to buy chicks drinks at the club. LOL!!!
Hi, my name is Chelsea and I work with a brand-new greeting card company called Uncooked. I’m posting a comment because we are very excited about these sweet, yet sarcastic greeting cards and would love to get the word out!
What started as a part-time passion with a baker’s dozen of original designs has burst into a full-blown business that keeps the Uncooked folks constantly on the lookout for new designs. Founded by two oddballs, Uncooked is the brainchild of two warped and twisted minds meshed together. So unusual and hilarious, after only one year in the business, the design duo were called in by the head of MTV to create a series of 11 animated spots currently running on the channel both nationally and internationally! This current Uncooked/MTV collaboration has been nominated for prestigious awards across the country (doesn’t that sound fancy?). Not bad for two people who constantly say how disappointed people are when they meet them and find out they don’t do drugs…
And, the best part of their job? They get to be weird all day, write weird things, draw weird things, and then laugh about how weird those weird things are. To get in on the joke, check out Uncooked’s newly redesigned website featuring hilarious short stories and complete listing of products at http://www.uncookedland.com.
Stop your whining and take it like a man..here in Boston its colder than that..and u know what..the white ppl will tell ya that they are HOT!!!!!WTF……
Awww..I hope you feel better!
you know i was thinking the same thing this morning when i woke up… at least a delay… a delay! but alas, i dragged my feet in this morning… 6am in the morning.
today was a good day today. it’s about 60 degrees now.
and i am not a morning person. if i could get to work about 9 every day, i would be in heaven.
“I felt like a random bad guy in a Chuck Norris movie. If your character’s name is “Bad Guy in Sunglasses #3″, you know Chuck is about to whup your ass at some point in the film.”
CLASSIC. Just the name “Chuck Norris” is funny. I challenge EVERYONE. The next time you are in a stuffy, serious situation and no one knows what to do to break the ice, just utter the name Chuck Norris. See, you’re laughing already.
Chuck Norris can hit 3 people with one kick. He doesn’t use any medicine. When I’m cold I just watch movies with Chuck fucking Norris :D
Spot on with this write-up, I truly think this website wants much more consideration. I’ll most likely be once more to learn way more, thanks for that info.