Swine! Glorious Swine!
I love it, but I know at some point I’m going to have to leave it alone. You can’t just eat swine forever. It’s just like anything else that brings pleasure: If you overindulge in it, you will end up paying the price at some point. I don’t want to be a fat slob, so I know my Quizno’s double bacon BLT sandwich eating days are numbered. I just try to lead an active lifestyle in the meantime, before I begin to gradually back away from that plate of smothered pork chops.
The biggest reason that I want to start limiting it in my diet is because I don’t want to be an old man worrying about my blood pressure. That’s one of the worst fates in the world. Especially if you’re married. Your wife and kids are sitting down at the table eating barbecue ribs, while you’re sitting there eating a salad, using fat free dressing, and cursing them out under your breath.
That’s enough to make a man feel like a prisoner in his own home. Imagine being in that situation: A 50 year old man coming home, sneaking a barbecue pork sandwich in his coat pocket, trying to hide it like it was lesbian midget porn or something. Then, once he realizes that no one is home, he has to eat it all fast, then worry about hiding the smell like he just got through smoking weed in his dorm room or something. Lighting incense and scented candles. Brushing his teeth and going through half the bottle of mouthwash. Spraying febreeze on furniture and clearing the area of any evidence. It’s just sad any way that you look at it. I don’t ever want to be that guy, so I’m going to begin cutting back on my swine intake.
Speaking of love/hate relationships with swine, Miss Piggy apparently did quite a number on Kermit the Frog. Someone put this video of Kermit singing about his very own personal Hell. I guess he was telling the truth when he said “it ain’t easy being green.” I feel bad for laughing at this, since I know Jim Henson is probably rolling over in his grave thanks to whoever created this clip.
Sad Kermit – Hurt
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I was with you on the swine, but Kermit?! You. Ain’t. Right.
A. Love
True…The Kermit impression is bad, but when he started sucking Rolf’s d*ck, I had to laugh LOL. Someone is going to hell for making that video
Hustleman, the dog’s name is Ralph.
Yeah, cut back from the swine…you’ll end up like Cliff Huxtable…sneaking hoagies and shit. LMAO!
Is it just me or does Kermit look like he has some sort of “skin” condition…yuck!
I hurt myself…today…damn, that’s going to take awhile to get out my head.
I’m excited about your blog- my new blog supplier just put me on to you lol.
I am deeply disturbed by that video! I feel a bit sick to my stomach- and I agree with you that whoever created that video is going straight to hell. I don’t think I’ll ever look at kermit the same way again. Why couldn’t they just leave it at “It’s not easy being green?”…
I have an issue with coffee. I love it but I cant drink it cuz it gives me the bubbles and makes me snappy. I drink it anyway though hehehe.
Gotdamit Leon…You, and whoever made that video…need yo asses beat!!! LMFAO! If I was @ work, today woulda been my LAST day! I’ma force feed you pork chops, ham sandwiches, pig feet, and even bacon bits to atone for that ignorant ass shit…maybe we’ll have adjoining rooms in hell…the good rooms are going fast-George Bush, and Dick Cheney’s punk asses already took the rooms I originally had picked out…You better act fast…LOL.
omg….that was so so twisted!!LOL i usually lurk, but i had 2 post…lol…poor kermit….
leon i love love ur blog…its one of my addictions!! keep it up, now im goin back into lurkin….
DAMN KERMIT DAMN!
Leon you are a nut.
I stopped eating the swine (and red meat) back in November. It hasn’t been easy but I don’t miss it at all anymore. Strictly chicken and seafood. I have to admit I do feel better. Good luck on giving up the bacon!
Awww poor Kermie!!!you know you wrong!
LMAO @ “50 year old man coming home, sneaking a barbecue pork sandwich in his coat pocket, trying to hide it like it was lesbian midget porn”…. Gawt damn u Leon… only you!
First to correct the corrector….Rolf’s name is indeed Rolf….all true muppet fans know that…
Anyway, I’ve been trying to cut pork out of my diet for about 7 years now….I just realized there are SO many things I like that sneak pork in on you….my favorite pizza is sausage pizza….I love eggs benedict, what’s a key ingredient? Canadian BACON. Not to mention the Black man’s weakness….Ribs….
I guess the key is moderation….
Now back to Kermit’s version of Nine Inch Nails/Johnny Cash’s Hurt….it pretty much ruined one of my favorite depression time songs….I listen to that song to sooth my depression now I’ll be laughing, which doesn’t help me any!
correction to my correction because I just looked it up…it’s RoWLf….so we were both wrong…and I’m fine with that! Cuz I’m still right!!! HAHA!!!!!!!!!!
“Wocka Wocka Wocka.” I’m going straight to hell along with the person who made it. This shit is Hillaaarious!!!!!
You slay me.