What the hell is mumbo sauce?
No, really. What the hell is it? I know that it’s that almost florescent red-colored stuff that they give you at the carry out resturant to put on chicken and french fries. What I really NEED to know is, what’s in it? What ingredients come together to create the goodness that we call mumbo sauce(or mambo sauce, however you choose to say it).
I’m not particularly concerned for health purposes. I just want to make my own, so I can create Leon’s Special Blend and become a billionaire selling it. My theory is that mambo sauce is one part ketchup, two parts hot sauce, a pinch of sugar and a sprinkle of Smurf dust.
Oh yeah. Smurfs do exist. They’re magical! How else can you explain the way that mumbo sauce makes those raggedy carryout chicken wings and soggy, crinkled french fries taste so good? If you pick a Smurf up and shake it hard enough, the little blue srpinkles that float in the air…That’s Smurf dust. Until one of you tells me EXACTLY what goes into mumbo sauce, I’m just going to assume that Smurf dust is, in fact, the secret ingredient.
For real, I know you probably don’t believe me, but it’s true. You have to shake the Smurf until you hear the sound of chimes. That’s when the dust will appear. Be careful though…Sniffing uncut Smurf dust can cause temporary paralysis and in some cases, instant death.
Readers out there, I beg you to please tell me what goes into mambo sauce. Don’t make me walk around looking for Smurfs to shake. If you know the answer to my question, please leave it in the comments section.