Who says Fredericksburg, VA is boring? When you have family like my cousin T, it really does not matter where you are. It is just a matter of time before something outrageous happens and you leave with a funny story. This time, it only took 15 minutes in his presence for something wild to go down.
We were in his car, on the way to his apartment, when he decides that he has to go to the gas station to pick up a critical item in his evening routine. When we got to the gas station entrance, we saw a line of about three cars waiting for folks to get out of their parking spots at the front of the station. T looked at the cars, then said “F*ck this.”
What happened next is the perfect example of why you gotta love T, and also why you might not want to have him around at times. The man simply DOES NOT GIVE A F*CK. T drove his car around the line of waiting vehicles, right next to the car pulling out of the parking spot. Once there was enough room, T drove right into the space, stealing it from this pickup truck that was waiting for it.
I looked at T, shook my head and said “That’s f*cked up, man. Why did you steal that spot from all those people that were waiting?”
T’s response: “I want a blunt.”
As soon as T said that, I noticed that the truck that T cut off had pulled up behind us, blocking us in. I also saw a guy in a white tee walking up to the passenger side window, with two other big guys behind him. the white tee guy looked directly at T and said “Motherf*cker you stole my spot!”
I looked at the dude, then I looked at T, who sat there for about a second without moving. I thought to myself “Aww sh*t. This trifling jackass is about to get me in a fight over a parking spot, all because he could not wait to buy his one blunt.”
Then, without warning, the white tee guy leans in closer and smiles. T then starts laughing and shakes hands with him. It turns out that it was some guy who used to work with T. It’s a lucky thing for T, because one of the people with the dude in the white tee was this guy who went to high school with me, nicknamed Inky. Back in high school, Inky was one of those guys who started out each year in regular high school, but by Christmas break, he was attending the alternative school because he’d beaten the hell out of somebody or done some other random act of mayhem. Inky was a big, muscle-bound dude back in high school, but it looked as if he’d put on at least 10 more pounds of solid muscle over the years that I hadn’t seen him around. Dude was wearing a wifebeater, and it looked as if he could use the veins in his arms to choke the life out of someone. Basically, if the parking spot confrontation had turned violent, he would have probably whipped both me and T all by himself.
So when T and the guys from the truck were in line at the register, Inky looked at T and said “Hey man, did you know it was us in the truck when you did that sh*t”
T said “Nope” and shook his head.
Inky then said “You got some balls on you, huh? Don’t do that sh*t, man. You were about to get f*cked up.”
So at this point, T and I made some small talk with everybody and then got back in the car. Once we were on the road, T said “N*gga! I just thought it was one guy in that truck. I was lucky as sh*t! You see how big that motherf*cker was?!
Hopefully, T learned his lesson from this. I told him not to ever do that if he visits me in DC. That’s asking to get shot, stabbed or pistol-whipped by some fool with road rage. I also told him that I’m not getting my ass whipped if he does that again. Next time, I’m going to let him fight, and I’ll stand on the sidlines, yelling “Stop that! STOP IT!” while calling the authorities like an old lady. No sense in BOTH of us getting our asses beat just because he can’t wait 2 minutes for a parking spot.
I was sitting on the edge of my seat trying to figure out what was going to happen next. The odds of him knowing the guy are about as good as Whitney Houston getting a job counseling crackheads at the Betty Ford Center. And then getting Bobby a job as the entertainment during the afternoon snack.
Hilarious. Ahhhhhhhhhhh…you just gotta love the T’s of the world! As long as the shit they do doesn’t affect you anyway.
Hell this reminds me of the time some woman was trying to save a parking space, by standing in it right at the corner of 14th and V NW. I told her politely that she had to move and started backing my car into the space. After she moved I realized maybe I should have just gone and gotten another space. I ended up going back to check on my car half way through dinner just in case she decided to slash my tires or something. It’s not worth the hassle there are always parking spaces even in the middle of a hot saturday night in the U street area.
HAHAHAHA! Damn, Leon, why you never get good ish like this on the video? Damn I woulda LOVED to see ya’ll’s faces when them niggas got out the car!
Back in high school, Inky was one of those guys who started out each year in regular high school, but by Christmas break, he was attending the alternative school because he’d beaten the hell out of somebody or done some other random act of mayhem.
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Thats so trill.
I allways wanted to be DIESEL so I could MUFF A NUCCA UP.
But you’re not going to call the AUTHORITIES are you? – lmao, I swear everytime I hear someone say that ish, I bust out laughin.
Don’t yell “stop it”…act like you’re coaching him. “Get that big nigga offa you!”
Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! He’s back with the real humor!
He sound’s a lot like my boy Shannon. Shannon was a little Puerto Rican lookin’ dude with little man’s syndrome and a hot temper. Our crew would go around town to play hoop against some the best players in the city. You could always count on this dude to get into a fight with the biggest cat on the other team, but instead of going heads up he would always say, “I got my boys on my side to back me up”.
After he got his ass kicked he always asked, “Why didn’t you help me?”
Niggas and flies I do despise
One spreads disease while the other tells lies
The more I see niggas the more I like flies
Yo that is crazy you did this post. Shit happen to me last Tuesday when I went to see the Transfomer movie. Some dude stole my spot, I got out the whip and walked up to the vehicle. My phone vibrated and I reached in my pocket to grab it. Dude pulled out and I got my spot back. He must of got scared because he saw me walking up to his car. (guess he thought I was just going to cuss him out and keep driving) I think he thought I had a gun when I reached for my phone though..lmao
Glad things didnt get violent..very lucky and a very small world. Most def. (no rapper) dont pull a stunt like that in DC. Shit was funny when reading though. A blunt?? He needs to hang out with me..lol. What did the other cars waiting do and did your cuz atleast offered to smoke with Inky and them?
I want a friend named inky.
your family members……….have GREAT GENES. Thats all I’m gonna say.
Gotta love T man!
LOL@ T
You guys are super lucky man!
yeah…um…if I was you, I’d quit hanging out with your cousin. I thought me and my sister was troublemakers but he got us beat…only time I pulling something like that is if I got somebody straight from prison rolling with me…lmao
Very funny story but I would have shat myself at the time. Why are big dudes always the one with hellafied sissy names…Inky?
Love the blog…