For years, I have joked about releasing my debut album “Dry Humpin On Yo Momma’s Couch.” I even put some of the tracks on here back in 2004, but alas, those classic audio clips were lost when the site where they were hosted was taken down. Now, in 2007, the music industry has shown me that now is the time for me to release a new CD. I mean, everyone else seems to be doing it these days!
Take Laurie-Ann Gibson for instance. Most of you know her as the former choreographer from”Making The Band 4.” When last we saw Miss Gibson, she was in the middle of a very heated debate with Diddy. She was very feisty and angry…and it turned me on!
Don’t act like I’m the only person who wants to hump Laurie Ann Gibson! She’s pretty…Plus, that mean streak tells makes me think that she’s probably wild in bed. I don’t know why, but women who are the quickest to fly off the handle emotionally, are usually the ones with that snappy nappy copappy!
That’s why it pains me to know that she’ll probably never ever give me the time of day after she reads what I write about her new single. Click on the doctored image below of her and I(well, my head pasted over Mario’s) to hear a snippet of her new song.
We’d make a cute couple, right? It can still happen, as long as Laurie does not try to sing to me. I never thought I’d say this ever, but this song makes “My Humps, My Lovely Lady Lumps” sound like a Motown classic. I literally felt the individual brain cells dying one by one in my head as I listened to the lyrics. The crazy thing is, in today’s era of the “Let’s just make some sh*t that drunk people n the club will shake their asses to” mentality in the music industry, the song could potentially be a hit. That, or Jack Bauer could use it to torture a terrorist’s eardrums on an episode of 24 next season. Either way, I’d easily forgive Laurie Ann for subjecting me to that if she takes me out on a date. Laurie, have your people call my people.
There is an even more glaring example of someone who could have used Laurie Ann Gibson’s services, and that is Deelishis from Flavor of Love 2. She has a song out called Rumpshaker, which I guess makes sense when your claim to fame is having an outstanding backside. I’m not a fan of this song, either, but the video is where Laurie Ann could have helped. Somewhere along the way, Deelishis apparently forgot that BET Uncut is no longer on the air. Her video consists of greasy booty shaking in a warehouse, with a low-budget fake ass Lil Wayne stand-in rhyming near the end. I, for one, like to see asses shaking, especially nice, round, shapely ones like the one on Deelishis. Still, Laurie Ann should have been hired to choreograph the video and help make it somewhat tasteful or stylish.
The link to that video is on the way, but do not click on it if you think you might get in some kind of trouble for looking at a bunch of black behinds shaking up and down on your computer screen. You’ve been warned.
After you all get a chance to see/hear the madness, come back and comment on it. Oh yeah, CLICK ON THE ADS! Thanks :)