Before you all get worried that I’m going to pull an Owen Wilson, rest assured, I love myself way too much to do anything self-destructive. Today’s entry is not some kind of cry for help. Then again, if you were thinking about giving me money, or pity pu**y, I guess I’ll let you call it whatever you want.
The reason that I feel like I am my own worst enemy sometimes is because I have a bad habit of messing up my follow-through when it comes time to capitalize on opportunities. At first, I used to take it for granted that things would always just work out for me in the end. After being pimp slapped by fate a few times too many, I realized that I have to get out and make things happen, instead of just sliding by on my charm, talent and luck.
You would think that learning this lesson would be a good thing, but I took it to extremes. I am now somewhat of a dysfunctional perfectionist. I tend to pick apart my work, striving for perfection, but never feeling that it’s quite there. That’s a big reason why I haven’t finished a large-scale painting in years, and why this site, while very humorous, does not have the right look to truly fit the funny content that I put on here.
Actually, that dysfunctional perfectionist thing has even messed me up with women before, too. I was doing research(for free) a few months back at this bookstore, and while I was taking notes from a book that I had no intention of buying, this FINE lady in a sundress walked past, smiled and said hello. I responded in kind, but I was so caught up in what I was doing, that I let her keep walking. After I finished jotting down the last part, I decided “What the Hell? Why not go make a new sexy friend?”
I went out to the parking lot, and all I saw was her pulling off in an $80,000 Mercedes convertible. I thought to myself “Dammit Leon! You just let the perfect Sugar Momma experience drive away! Some so-called Black Gigolo you are!”
I’m really trying to fight this dysfuntional perfectionist inside me right now, because I am working on rewrites to the book I mentioned on here a long time ago. If any of you have tips on how to move past self-inflicted road blocks, please share them. That, or recommend what books I should be reading.
I you all can’t help me, then maybe I’ll just watch Dr. Phil today. Seeing him yell at people might just inspire me to greatness. That, or I can do what I always do when I am in need of a motivational lift: play music from the “Rocky” movies. Then, with the music playing, I can imagine a training montage of me hitting the heavy bag in between typing sessions. I’ll bench-press reference books in the library, then drink some raw eggs, take a breath mint, and run down the street at 5:00 PM to go holler at women leaving their jobs on their way to happy hour. Yeah…I said it.
“Risin’ up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the cream of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watchin’ us all in the eye of the tiger!”
Suddenly, I feel like doing some motherf*ckin’ push ups! I’ll get back to y’all later.
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find someone doing shitier that you! Who cant feel better after observing someone else’s misfortune!
Uhh, maybe that not the best advice, but hell Im from the “Seinfeld school of thought”, so think selfish and you should always at least get what YOU want?
Seriously, take your time grasshopper!
Aww Leon !! :heart:
All kidding aside, if you want something to inspire you to greatness, read some stuff by Ari Kiev, MD. He’s a psychiatrist who works with Olympic Athletes and top Wall Street traders to get them to perform at peak levels.
http://www.amazon.com/strategy-success-Ari-Kiev/dp/B000716BU0/ref=sr_oe_9_1/102-0370687-3080959?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189105271&sr=1-9
He looks kinda like “Mick” from the Rocky movies too. Well, like a fatter, happier Mick.
First off, be careful with all the revising. I’ve learned that in writing, once you have read something over and over again, your brain starts to make things seem like they are unnecessary, when in fact they tie ideas together. But since this is now the 110th time you’ve read it, it seems redundant. Thus, make sure you have a friend help you edit this shit before your deadline. Second, a deadline is what you need. You need to just set a date that you stop revising and be done with it. Finito!
I’m in the same boat as you. Only thing I can think to do is impose some “radio silence” on myself: I won’t update my blog, I won’t reply to emails, I won’t watch any movies on my computer and I won’t answer my phone. It forces me to focus and gives me someting to look forward to after I reach my goal. It’s how I finally finished my thesis, anyway. Good luck, man.
I thought it was “the thrill of the fight”, not the “cream”.
What’s a cream of a fight in that case?
yea, it is “thrill of the fight”, what the hell is “cream of the fight”?! prime example of black folks not knowing the words to a song and making up their own!!
If you lack inspiration try a change of enviroment and/or people you normally hang out with or talk to.
Awh… small frye.. :) LOL.. JU CAN DO IT HOLMES!
I’m sorry that you didn’t reclaim your title with the Black Blog Awards…this reminds me of how Bush got into office…twice…
Secondly, your day is coming! And I’m happy the lady drove off because it showed that you stayed focus on your craft…and who knows, that probably wasn’t even her car. Heck, she could have lived in a section 8 housing unit…
Third, lose the perfectionist attitude…we’re all fuck ups…and flukes sometimes leads to rewards we’d never imagine.
Honestly, aside from the tea baggin’ hoes and comments about your wang, I am inspired by your writing…it has given me the balls to talk shit in Hallmark cards and message boards…heck, even when the bill collectors call, I turn to WWLD (what would leon do). You respond to your readers, which I think is truly the mark of a classy artist….and I can’t tell you how often your writing has me splitin’ stitches!
Recommended books: The Alchemist and The Four Agreements
As the Groove Theory song goes, “Lift your head to the sky and keep tryin’”
Best,
WL
And how many young folks do we know made it into a textbook?
***crickets***
I thought so! =)
@ Wonderlove, I didn’t even know that I lost until you typed that! Sons of bitches! I’m about to go on a Kanye West-like rant, when I finish my motherfuckin coffee!
@ BKLYN, where were you the other weekend? I went to Raysa’s house, and you were nowhere to be found!
@ Belinda, good idea!
@ Alexia and Caroline, I copied and pasted the lyrics from some website. I didn’t even check them!
Thanks @ TQB
@ Natalie, trust me, it needed the revising!
@ HomeImprovementNinja, I’ll check that out
@ Krazy34th, <3
@ Jelani, I’m going to go step on a drunk right now to make myself feel better!
Focus, Hustleman, Focus. Breathe. Channel the inner Chi…..lmao!
But what about my positive advice?! Dang! I went all “After School Special” on ya! Brothas! pfff.
Its feels good to be back posting on your blog. Anyway, I feel you 100%. I struggle with trying to perfect everything as well. I actually got to a point where I rarely liked anything I did because I felt it wasn’t good enough. This may sound crazy, but the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that there are hundreds of less talented people who have “made it”. If they can make it, I can make it, YOU can make it. Its all about timing out here. If you persist and stay true to your craft, things will eventually work out. At least thats what I tell myself…
I’ll click some ads to make up for lost time!
“@ Alexia and Caroline, I copied and pasted the lyrics from some website. I didn’t even check them!”
Haha, and you say you’re a perfectionist! *sniggles*
A perfectionist like myself I see. I guess were share more than a first name. And don’t beat yourself up too much about the hot rich chick. A woman like that was probably taken anyway. Now gimme 50 push ups soldier!
We got hosed Leon….we got hosed!