Crocs Are The Ugliest Shoes On Earth

Yeah. I said it.

I would not be caught dead in a pair of Crocs. If I should happen to die tomorrow, and the mortician tries to slide a pair of those ugly, foamy, gummy, bright swiss cheese shoes on my feet, my corpse will rise up and slap the bejeesus out of him. My hatred runs that deep.

crocs.jpg

Nothing says “I really don’t care how I look anymore” like a pair of these bad boys on your feet. I’m sure that they are very comfortable…I mean, why else would anyone wear them? I’m all for comfort, but I draw the line at wearing a pair of Crocs.

There are plenty of tacky, yet very comfortable alternatives on the market that are slightly less hideous than Crocs. Birkenstocks with tube socks if you’re a hippie stoner. House shoes and church socks if you’re ghetto. All-black walking shoes  if you’re an old man. The list goes on and on…Yet, every choice, as unfashionable as it is, beats the hell out of being seen in a pair of Crocs.

I know that I have probably offended a few of you readers out there who spent your hard-earned money on a pair of the 21st century version of jellies. Even worse, some of you even had the nerve to buy pairs for your kids! What did they ever do to you?! That’s borderline abuse, you know! If you want your feet to look like a pack of Now n Laters, that’s your business. Just please, don’t do it to the kids.

Actually, there is one exception  whein it comes to children. You can put your kids in Crocs if your children are the type that just can’t keep a pair of shoes clean, or finds ways of destroying all the new ones that you buy him or her. In that case, it is acceptible. Don’t let your son mess up his Jordans. Let him dog a pair of crappy Crocs on the playground, and save the Jordans for school.

I will be glad when this trend goes away. The fall and winter are coming, so hopefully the cold weather will cause Crocs to die out like the dinosaurs and the wooly mammoth in prehistoric times. I usually don’t look forward to the winter, but if it means there will be no more Crocs, then I say, bring on the cold weather!

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Crocs Are The Ugliest Shoes On Earth

34 Responses to “Crocs Are The Ugliest Shoes On Earth”

  1. Lady A 20. Sep, 2007 at 3:53 pm #

    THANK YOU LEON!! Those damn “shoes” ARE the ugliest things ever! I see people all over nyc in those damn things. I don’t understand them-I too am all for comfort but I refuse to wear those. and get this, people actually see them as a fashion statement. I believe they started out as an alternative for people who had recent foot surgery and then someone made themin colors and dummies started buying them for everyday usage after they were on Oprah. All I can say is that crocs get a big UGH! from me…Holla!

  2. anon 20. Sep, 2007 at 4:02 pm #

    Crocs are hideous. Unfortunately they’ve figured out a way to torture us year-round…Crocs with fur! http://tinyurl.com/2zdsj6

  3. taylor2nd 20. Sep, 2007 at 4:09 pm #

    OMFG I REALLY HATE THOSE AS WELL. what makes it worse is they’re kidn of popular.. a friend of mine.. his uncle bought him some when he last came to jamaica.. i’m like what are those? flotation devices? lol.. guy said they were the in thing in.. :s.. i dont get it. they’re really hidious

  4. Jelani 20. Sep, 2007 at 4:14 pm #

    Im bitch slappin any, and everyone like Bernie Mac in ” Head of State”, with Chris Rock!

    Friggin Crocs!

  5. Wonderlove 20. Sep, 2007 at 4:17 pm #

    Awwww, Leon! I was getting you some crocs for Christmas….you know, you are a hard person to shop for! :)

  6. Wonderlove 20. Sep, 2007 at 4:18 pm #

    I like the sour apple ones.

  7. danchrism 20. Sep, 2007 at 4:20 pm #

    These things are horrid… have you ever noticed that they always look like 3 sizes too big on kids and small women?

  8. TQB 20. Sep, 2007 at 4:59 pm #

    These damn shoes are like the freakin’ Park Slope uniform! Every other fool and their fool ass kids are wearing them. I actually met a guy for drinks once after his shift, a chef, and he had the nerve to wear these damn shoes. needless to say I ordered three shots of Patron and never called him again. That’ll show him!

  9. Arjewtino 20. Sep, 2007 at 5:01 pm #

    At least they’re not Heelys.

  10. TQB 20. Sep, 2007 at 5:02 pm #

    OMG…I just saw the furry crocs…I think I’m gonna hurl…

  11. courtney 20. Sep, 2007 at 5:12 pm #

    MAN. I was wondering what the hell was the fascination with these. They have these damn “Croc Shops” in the airports e’erywhere. I un get it.

  12. Lady A 20. Sep, 2007 at 5:23 pm #

    Oh hell to tha naw! I just saw the fur crocs-someone HAS to stop the madness!!

  13. leoninatl 20. Sep, 2007 at 7:29 pm #

    **small voice**

    I own a pair of crocs. Black ones with yellow straps. They are comfortable as hell, but I try to just wear them around the house. If I do wear them in public, I make damn sure I try not to wear shorts. And NEVER wear them on dates either.

    **makes plans to buy Leon a pair of pink and orange crocs for his birthday present**

  14. Jabari Talib 20. Sep, 2007 at 8:58 pm #

    My co-worker bought me a pair of Carolina Panther Crocs. I didn’t know the Croc’s company had an NFL license! They are not comfortable at all. I wore them once to go buy some cereal at like 1 AM. I can’t see myself wearing them again.

  15. Hypmommy 20. Sep, 2007 at 10:15 pm #

    Now Leon, you know people in DC will just wear their Crocs with about 2 or 3 pairs of wool socks this winter. As ugly as they are, I think they look a whole lot better than Birkenstocks did in the mid 90′s. I hated those shoes with a passion even though they fit in with the whole plaid flannel shirt with jeans/lumberjack look girls were expected to wear (wtf?).

    What I really can’t stand is when people are dressed normally in business or going-out-casual attire then have a pair of Crocs on their feet. It’s like it took so much effort to get the rest of their outfit ready they just gave up and said, “fk it no one’s looking at my feet anyway!”

  16. Bronze Trinity 20. Sep, 2007 at 10:22 pm #

    I was tempted to buy some for a minute because everyone was wearing them and I think I am cursed with always buying painful shoes. I wanted something comfortable. But then I decided they looked too much like something a duck would wear. I saw the furry crocs…why would you want to wear them? I think regular clogs are cuter, but probably not as comfortable.

  17. Jimmy 21. Sep, 2007 at 6:58 am #

    He said crappy Crocs.

  18. neoauteur 21. Sep, 2007 at 2:23 pm #

    The thing is that I actually like them.

  19. BayBB 21. Sep, 2007 at 10:33 pm #

    You tell em Leon! Just when I thought footwear couldn’t get any uglier than Uggs, Crocs came along. If you’ve offended someone..GOOD!…..people that like that mess need an intervention. Friends don’t let friends wear Crocs. You’re performing a public service!

  20. Leon 22. Sep, 2007 at 3:08 am #

    So these are the infamous Crocs huh? They’re not fashionable, but not all that bad looking. I don’t see why you hate them so much.

  21. Thalie 22. Sep, 2007 at 11:43 pm #

    These “shoes” are not meant to be warn in public. The only time that i can imagine them as acceptable is if an old lady is wearing them while gardening or playing horseshoe or some other elderly activity. Otherwise, these monstrocities need to be banned. I am with you on this one Leon 100% you are a trip!

  22. lola gets 23. Sep, 2007 at 8:48 am #

    When I used to decorate cakes, I wore Crocs. They were comfortable, and cheaper than the Dansko clogs I prefer ($30 vs $110). But on the whole, they arent that attractive, lol.
    L

  23. Cali Girl 24. Sep, 2007 at 12:08 pm #

    A grown man at a pool party hit on me wearing crocs. I was so not turned on! How your big 200 pound NFL looking behind gone be in some crocs…shameful!

  24. KraZy34th 25. Sep, 2007 at 1:08 pm #

    If a guy had the balls to holla at me wearing crocs, I would laugh in his face. Really. Those things are so ugly, and nasty looking. I dont even know how chicks could wear jellies! Dont you realize how nasty that shit looks nasty when your feet sweat and dirt gets between the holes and mixes in with it? Then you literally got MUCK all over your toes and shit, like thats cute. EW!

  25. LionPearl 27. Sep, 2007 at 12:37 pm #

    I don’t know if this is true, but People magazine said that the CEO of Crocs is a major Republican fundraiser! Who knew!!!?

  26. jamsprint 29. Sep, 2007 at 4:25 pm #

    Half of the football team at school has those hideous things. Some people in administrative office wear them to work as well…w
    Can’t see myself spending money on those, sorry.

  27. CocaColaCutie 30. Sep, 2007 at 6:54 pm #

    Yes, lawd! I’m glad someone shares my disdain for these fugly shoes.

  28. Not In MY Ass! 28. Dec, 2007 at 10:53 pm #

    Baybb, say that line again, “Just when I thought footwear couldn’t get any uglier than Uggs, Crocs came along.” I can’t stand those plastic- bubblegum looking- clown shoes.

    I don’t know which really IS worse,…….Uggs or crocs.

  29. Jenn&juice 09. Jun, 2008 at 11:49 am #

    ewwwww crocs… my cousin has some and i always make fun of her until she stoped wearing them. I hate those ugly things i thought i was the only one cuz evey one at school has some they arnt cute at all

  30. Katie 04. Dec, 2008 at 12:33 pm #

    alright who seriously makes a website and tells how much they hate crocs? do you seriously have nothing better to do with your life then make a website over shoes? Get a life ! and who gives a shit if you dont lyk them, you dont have to wear them! Yeah they are ugly but do you really need to make a big deal out of it? Get a fucken life you bunch of idiots.

  31. ListenToLeon 07. Dec, 2008 at 11:30 pm #

    @ Katie, why are you so passionate about this? Do you own stock in “Crocs” or something? Oh yeah, learn how to spell while you’re at it.

  32. Dojan5 14. Apr, 2009 at 12:07 pm #

    Those are NOT comfortable. They are REALLY uncomfortable. I hate them! I hate their colours, their material, their,a fSRHJ!
    I HATE CROCS!

  33. Dojan5 14. Apr, 2009 at 12:07 pm #

    Those are NOT comfortable. They are REALLY uncomfortable. I hate them! I hate their colours, their material, their,a fSRHJ!
    I HATE CROCS!

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