What up b*tches!
I been drankin. Just thought I’d let you know. I feel like talking some sh*t right now, so I’m gonna talk it. Just so you know…I’m that dude. I really hope that you remember that, because if you should ever question it in my presence, I may have to bitch slap you to hell and back, then have a threesome with your girlfriend and Macy Gray. Well, more like me and your girlfriend bumpin’ uglies, while Macy Gray holds the camera and serenades us with her raspy cartoon character voice. “I try to say good bye and I choke, try to walk away but I stumble…TEAR THAT @SS UP YOU NASTY MUTHERF*CKA!”
Where the hell am I going with this? Oh yeah…Alcohol abuse is bad. Learn from my mistakes.
I’m really dissapinted to see that it’s a bunch of cats in DC walking around looking like T-Pain. I almost expect these bammas to talk with a voicebox like some kind of throat cancer patient. No offense to T-Pain, because I stay putting “I’m So Hood” on repeat on the MP3 player. That dude is catchy…With his black Animal from The Muppet Show-looking self.
I have decided that if I ever get with a woman taller than me, that woman is going to be Kimora Lee Simmons. If she can produce two cute little babies with Russell Simmons’ hobo-looking ass, we’d DEFINITELY make a beautiful bastard child! I mean, good-looking, we’re both funny…she’s tall, I’m athletically inclined with a big ole’ wang…the child would be destined for greatness! Kimora, if you’re reading this, get at me! Let’s have unprotected sex!
What more can I say? It took me over an hour to type out this short mini-post. Typing and Miller Genuine Draft do not mix. Ah well. Read this and smile gotdammit. God is good, n*gga.
Leon
Alcoholism isn’t so bad. It makes for hilarious posts (although a bit twisted). And there’s one thing Russell has that you don’t, something that all these hotties like Kimora are looking for…MONEY!
Umm, wow…even your tipsy swagger off the meter.
oh good idea!!..lets populate the world with kimora’s beautiful babies….i agree she should have more kids..as a public service…
xoxo
Minus the hotdog neck.
I thinkwe should have a drunken blog contest…get a bunch of the DC Bloggers together, let the parton and chasers flow, and see who can post the most coherent recap.
1-2-3 GO!
Wow! You actually told someone you have a big wang. I hadn’t heard that since the Long Duck Dong days. Funny posts but like you said, alcohol makes for very funny posts.
Im 5’5 so with me saying if I was to talk to a chick taller than me is kinda like saying if any drink got me drink it would be….
Drunk on Sundays are the best by the way.
yeah i love getting drunk and even more so on sundays! i even have a post on my blog about sober sundays…which is how i refer to them coz i am never sober…..
pamoja!!!
OMG! Unprotected sex? With Kimora? I hope it happens for you. You are so funny Leon!