My News And Notes Appearance

Apparently, my reputation precedes me. I was sort of thrown off when it came time for me to speak on NPR this afternoon. Right after they announced my name and website, a producer got on my headphones and made it a point to say “Remember, DON’T CURSE.” Apparently, someone at NPR took a look at some of my more explicit content on the site, and felt the need to re-iterate that this is public radio and not Def Comedy Jam. Then again, I don’t really blame them.

The lissle warning/reminder made me laugh, so I wasn’t ready when the host, Farai Chideya, greeted us. Other than that, the show went pretty smoothly. I hope they invite me back, because I enjoyed myself. It was also cool getting a chance to meet Casey Latargue of caseylartigue.blogspot.com. I did not get to personally meet Jehmu Greene of jehmugreene.typepad.com, but it was great being on the panel with both of them, discussing issues such as John Edwards’ recent comments on the future of black men, and Morehouse’s new president considering a dress code, among others.

The only dissapointment was that I thought we were going to talk about the Isiah Thomas sexual harassment case. I wrote a few jokes to say on-air, but I did not get a chance to use them since we didn’t talk about it. It’s probably a good thing, because I might have offended some overly-sensitive NPR listener had I used them. That said, I know readers over here have a sense of humor, so it’s no use letting my Isiah observations go to waste.

I now present, Leon’s Thoughts on the Isiah Thomas Sexual Harassment Story:

This isn’t the first time Isiah’s mouth and attitude have gotten him into trouble. Back in the ’80s, he made a famous remark about Larry Bird being overrated because he is white. Fast-forward about an decade and a half later…Isiah is the head coach of the Indiana Pacers. Who gets hired as team president? You guessed it: Larry Bird. Now, guess who got fired by that so-called “overrated” white guy and replaced with Rick Carlisle? Karma came back and bit Isiah something terrible! He should have learned about burning bridges from that situation alone.

I was kind of dissapointed when I saw what the victim looks like, too. I’m not going to go too hard on her, because she is someone’s wife and mother…Still. She looks kind of masculine. I wouldn’t go so far as to call her a mud-duck or a nightcrawler, but she’s not exactly easy on the eyes in my humble opinion. She has angry, pissed off muscle man features. I’d actually put money on her whupping Isiah in a one-on-one fistfight. Isiah was a great point guard with a lot of heart, but he always looked a little dainty. Had the victim chose to settle this the old-fashioned way, bare-knuckled in the Madison Square Garden parking lot, Isiah would have been in a world of trouble. That woman looks like she eats lightning and craps thunderbolts.

You think Isiah Thomas would have been able to get some easy ass just off the strength of being an NBA hall of famer and a highly paid executive. All he really had to do was go outside in New York, stand in the street and yell out “I’m rich, and I run an NBA team! Who wants to have sex with me?” He would have found his share of groupie love, and avoided costing his team and it’s owner $11.6 million. Now, the Knicks have no choice but to kick ass and take names in the Eastern Conference this year, or else Isiah is gone! Since that probably won’t happen (even though their roster is better this year, on-paper), Isiah may as well start working on his resume.

Lastly, a bit of advice to all of you office workers: Sexual harassment is only sexual harassment when it’s obnoxious, creepy, or coming from an ugly person. Think about what you are saying, before you say it. I mean, let’s be real: if you know tha you are ugly as sin, do not flirt with anyone, or ask them out. Ugly people automatically cause folks to cringe, so the minute an ugly person tries to come on to someone, it becomes “an uncomfortable work enviornment.” If you’re not sure about your ugly status, use this barometer as a gauge: if the person that you want to flirt with at the office has not already complimented you on your looks at some point, chances are, he or she does not find you attractive. Hope that helped, you cock-eyed, club-footed, pot-bellied Grimace-with-a-goatee looking folks out there in Corporate America.

Ok. Maybe those thoughts actually were slightly inappropriate for a news show. I guess it doesn’t matter at this point. I just hope that you all enjoy them.

*UPDATE*

 Here is the link to the show. Check it out while it’s up here!