It was a really nice day yesterday. The weather was nothing short of beautiful outside. For that reason, my windows have been open, letting in the fresh air from a nice breeze. The bad news is, something else managed to slip through the screen and enter my bedroom window.
Sometime in the morning, I was checking my e-mail and I saw a mosquito fly by. First, I swatted at it, thinking that I probably took it out. My mistake was not looking for a body to verify my kill. Thanks to this momentary lapse in killer instinct, the mosquito bit me on my elbow while I was typing. Immediately regretting my earlier assumption, I went on a mosquito hunt, making numerous attempts to chase it down, but the thing kept eluding me and cheating death. After awhile, I just gave up and figured that it is probably laying low since it’s probably full from tearing up my elbow.
This was a tactical error on my part. I fell asleep thanks in part to being awakened in the middle of the night by the sounds of the police chasing a suspect through the alley behind my house. Of course, I had to be nosy and watch this live episode of Cops play out from the window instead of just going back to sleep…Thus, my body decided to give up on the mosquito chase and take a nap.
While I was asleep, that mosquito treated my body like a buffet table. I woke up because my hand was itching like crazy. Next, I realized that my forehead was also itching. Then, the ultimate insult: I hear loud buzzing next to my ear.
That little greedy bastard was still flying around my body, looking for new places to bite! I promptly slapped that mosquito to the ground, just enough to render it motionless. Once I was able to view the body, I immediately looked at the part where blood is stored. I could see that the bug’s abdomen was more than 3/4 of the way full. That must have been the reason why it made the mistake of flying by my ear. The swagger that is present in my blood must have been too much for his simple mosquito mind to comprehend. That would explain why that bug had the balls to keep on flying around, mocking me, thinking that it was unstoppable.
Well, this time, I got a paper towel, picked up the body, and permanently stopped his punk ass. Let this be a lesson to you: Abuse of swagger can lead to your downfall. I overestimated the influence of my swagger on Saturday morning, but you will have to come back tomorrow to read about the events of that day. It’s still a sore spot, so I have to make sure that I don’t write anything that might burn too many bridges or cause me to seek legal counsel!
Oh yeah, let me also take the time out to say hello to the local bloggers that I met on Friday night. I’m definitely going to add more sites to the blogroll now that I have found some new interesting local blog to read. I told you all that I my blog is about everything and nothing at the same time! I just wrote an entry about an arrogant mosquito attack! Damn it, I can even make insects entertaining!
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Man. You really hunted that mosquito down, didn’t you? Guess it got too much of your mojo. That would be pretty pointless in a tropical country like Jamaica.
P.S. Female mosquitoes suck blood. Males don’t.
…So that means Leon’s swagg is irrestable to females of all species.
dude you are THE MAN! i would never have thought a story about a mosquito attack could be so entertaining….lol@chloe’s comment…..
pamoja!!!
so is it safe to say that leon engages in beastiality? even females from other species can’t resist!!!
leon is a woman-mosquito beater-LMAO
sooo…a skeeter was speedballing your swagger… and basically… you HAD make an example o fhim.. otherwise… all of skeeterdom prob would have been doomed…
it was a mercy killing
xoxo
funny shit… but you haven’t been to war until you fight a texas mosquito. these fuckers are as big as bats & they chase YOU.
true story.
Actually the same thing happened to me the other day. The mosquito bit me until there was no skin left then sat in a chair, crossed her legs and sipped a martini. It was cute yet disturbing.
LOL!!! RIP Mosquito
LOL!
Leon, you’re a nut. I know that you’ve heard that before.
OT: Why oh, WHY was I opening my bday gift to myself (an Ipod stereo/charger) the other day (not even thinking about you at that moment, I might add) and the ad in the box for free music or something had a picture on it of a dude who I SWEAR was the spitting image of you?! I’m telling you, it distracted me from my gift opening momentum! I’ll have to get a copy of that pic over to you because I KEPT it, it was so trippy. You’ve GOT to see this.
This post made me itch… lol
LMAO! Damn…the damn biter had swagger, comedy son. That shit would make a dope sitcom episode.
Leon, the fact that you made this blog about your battle with a mosquito is pure genius, lol. Keep it goin… ;p