Just playing. Larry Craig has never tried to solicit gay sex from me. I was just stuck searching for a title to describe an entry about my first ever trip inside the US Capitol building. So now that I have established that no members of Congress kicked my shoe underneath the bathroom stall, lets get on with today’s blog post.
Yesterday, NPR held it’s Influential Voices: African Americans In Politics and Media roundtable discussion. I figured that it would be a great networking opportunity, as well as my first chance to actually see the inside of the US Capitol. Only problem is, I found out about it on short notice, so I had to rearrage a few things that I had planned.
Due to the hustle and bustle of getting prepared for the event, I got on the train headed for the Captiol and realized halfway through my trip that I left my wallet at home on the dresser. I had cash on me, but no form of ID other than an insurance card that recently expired. My first thought was “Aww man, I’m going to make it to the door, and security won’t let me in!”
Then, I thought to myself: I am Leon! They don’t call me “Hustleman” for nothing! To hell with a “Department of damned Homeland Security.” They can’t stop me! I’ll outsmart those “I don’t want to chase real criminals, so I’ll make life hard for people at the front door” Capitol Police officers!
Amazingly, they didn’t even ask to see my ID. They ran me though the metal detectors like pretty much all government buildings do, but that was it. It might have helped that I asked them for directions to the event, so they knew I wasn’t there to hijack a voting session with a pair of nun-chucks and a stick of dynamite taped to my ass crease. So yeah, Leon: 1, Homeland Security: 0
The discussion was very inspiring, to say the least. The first panel consisted of Charles Rangel (D – NY), chair of the Ways and Means comittee; Bennie Thompson (D – MS), chair of the Department of Homeland Security(sorry for pulling a fast one on your boys at the door, Bennie); Keith Ellison (D – MN), the first person of color from Minnesota and first Muslim elected to Congress; Mel Watt (D – NC), former chair of the Congressional Black Caucus and currently serving on the Financial Services Committee and the Judiciary Committee; Carolyn Kirkpatrick (D – MI), chair of the Congressional Black Caucus and currently serving on the House Appropriations Committee; and last but not least, Eleanor Holmes Norton (D – DC) longtime champion for DC voting rights.
I was taken aback once I realized just how much power and influence was on that stage. I don’t think I can ever remember a time in our government’s history where there were so many African-Americans chairing this many powerful committees. Quite frankly, I was witnessing history.
It was great to hear the members of Congress speak, but personally, I got more out of hearing the black hosts and correspondents of NPR’s shows talking about the reasons why they chose public radio, and the responsiblity that comes with being a journalist. While I am mainly a comedic writer and I only occasionally write about politics, I definitely feel a responsibility to make sure my facts are correct and to practice journalistic integrity. If I feel that a story deserves more press than it’s getting, or if I know that I can help give a voice to people who might otherwise be ignored, it’s all about using this platform to increase awareness and spread the word.
After the discussion, I got to meet Farai Chideya, host of “News and Notes” in person. She is just as cool in real life as she is when hosting her show. Farai, I am holding you to your promise of bringing me back on the show! I also got to meet Juan Williams, which is cool because I just started reading the biography he wrote about Thurgood Marshall.
I also fell in love lust like. Her name is Michele Norris, host of All Things Considered on NPR. That is one gorgeous older woman right there!
She looks even better in person! I tried to approach her after the show and run some of my handy-dandy Leon game, but folks kept crowding around her to talk and take pictures. The closest I got was right after she posed for a photo with some people. I was going to slide in and say “I’m ready for my photo op now! Keep that pretty smile on your face!” Alas, the hordes of business suited groupies *cough* I mean journalists, kept me from getting any one-on-one time to attempt to charm that woman away from her husband and kids. Ah well. Michele, if you ever do become single, keep me in mind. My swagger is incredible, and the wang is of the formidable variety. Maybe that last sentence was a little crass for a woman of your worldly stature, but trust me, I would make an excellent trophy husband.
In closing, I would like to thank NPR for inviting me. I would also like to thank the guy working at the mini bar who asked me if I was 21 when he passed me the first of my three free beers. I’m about to cross the old-school line in December, so that question made me smile. Also thanks for taking my word for it since I had no ID on me. I also want to thank Larry Craig for not soliciting gay butt sex from me. I am quite grateful that my first trip to the Capitol was a good one.
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she is a fine woman
Lovely woman. I can understand your attraction to her. A black man going through security without being held up? Now THAT’S what I call history in the making!
P.S. Someone is stealing our content!
I have to agree that watching politicos in action can be inspiring. I’ve never been an active participant in government- just straight never cared. But this year, because of work, I had to cover Bloomberg’s PLANYC announcement, as well as the Large Cities Climate Summit, and I have to say- I can totally see why Mike (and Bill Clinton, who spoke at the Climate Summit) got elected and had such high approval ratings. Talk about swagger!
I mean, nothing like yours, of course, but swagger nonetheless. They made me pay attention. And care.
@ Leon, THANK YOU for exposing ANOTHER content thief!
To all my readers, you all know what to do! Go over to http://amooti.wordpress.com/ and rip that fool a new asshole since he or she is stealing my entries!
@ Rawdowgbuffalo, that she is! I dreamed about her last night, but it wasn’t even a nasty dream! It was a “holding hands while her soft lips touch mine ever so gently” kind of punk assed dream! I got it bad, my friend!
@ TQB, that’s exactly how I felt just from being in their presence. It almost made me want a job on Capitol Hill…ALMOST.
i just went to that wack ass website. for some reason i can’t post comments on his blog.
I wish these were the people our children saw on a daily basis instead of the endless barage of athletes, rappers and entertainers that they look up to. Not that idol worship is all bad, just that our kids could use some new idols in real positions of power.
And yes “the wang is of the formidable variety” is very crass. But it would make an excellent t-shirt.
Great post! Keep up the good work bruh! I’m proud of you.
Mel Watt is from my neck of the woods. He is a really cool dude.
Wow, I’ll do my best in ripping that guy a new asshole.
I don’t think I can ever remember a time in our government’s history where there were so many African-Americans chairing this many powerful committees.
I also want to thank Larry Craig for not soliciting gay butt sex from me.
I could only find these two sentences in the same entry on this blog. Nowhere else lol!! You are nuggin futs.
Hey ..can we use your material for a compilation of blogs. you will be duly acknowledged!
“I also want to thank Larry Craig for not soliciting gay butt sex from me” – I am so very mad at you for making me pee on myself a little, just a little bit, but it was pee nonetheless.
@ Anon, no problem. As long as you acknowledge the site (preferrably, with a link), feel free to use whatever you want.
@ Passion, I’m flattered, and disgusted at the same time!
@ Mahogany Brown, you’ll never find that anywhere else! Except maybe on that plagarist’s site!
@ Bre, thank you. Rip away!
@ Jabari, I didn’t get to speak with him one on one, but I’m sure he is.
@ Silva, thanks man. I hear Love is doing a Halloween night this Friday. I might see if I can get you to get me in. The only catch is, I’ll be dressed like Eazy-E(or Jheri Curl Ice Cube, depending on who you ask)
@ Nubian Temptress, true. Those are the REAL role models!
@ Diva527, the fool has been deleting comments, but I reported the site to WordPress with examples of the plagarism, so hopefully he’ll be shut down soon.