…AND PAY YOUR DAMNED WRITERS!
The Writer’s Guild of America strike has entered day 2, with no sign of ending anytime soon. I’m voicing my opinion because had things worked out the way I planned earlier this year, I would be starting out my television writing career not at a television studio, but on a picket line.
Back in February or March, I applied for the Nickelodeon Writing Fellowship in order to get my foot in the door writing for television. Yeah…I said it. Nickelodeon. The Hustleman, a.k.a. Mr. Mother F*cker himself, applied for a job at the world’s most famous children’s network. I’m pretty sure once they read some of the content on this site, they probably burned my application, then sprayed the ashes with Holy Water.
I guess writing for Spongebob Squarepants was not meant to be. It’s probably for the best. I would have tried to get away with something totally out of line, like a Very Special Episode where Squidward experiences growing pains as he guides himself through the changes that happen to that one tentacle in particular that all males have around age 11 or 12. The same way that Nickelodeon’s decison has spared me from being on the front lines, it also spared your children from witnessing squid puberty on national television.
With all of the changes going on in media today, I really don’t blame the writers for trying to get a piece of that money. If you’re going to treat anybody right, it should be the writers. I’m not just saying that because I write. I’m saying that because I know the difference between good television and crap. Plus, I have a fear that we’re about to get Reality TV-ed to death now that the writers are gone.
Then again, those are scripted, too. Here’s a rundown for pretty much any reality search for “love”: One person lives in a big mansion with a bunch of other people willing to sacrifice all their dignity to be on national television. People stab each other in the back. The one person who everyone hates stays on the show way longer than he or she should, to keep things interesting. There is some kind of twist near the end, or a character from the last season is brought back. Finally, there’s a reunion show which is mainly an excuse for arguments and the promise of some sort of sequel or spinoff.
Now that I’ve ruined the finale of “I Love New York”, “One Shot At Love” or whatever reality dating show you watch, I guess you all have no choice but to hope that the writers get their money so they can get back to work. Sorry that I had to strong-arm your TV viewing like theTaliban in Afghanistan, but I needed you all to see my point. Good writing and originality is NECESSARY.
P.S., if you think about it, Spongebob is full of sexual/genital innuendo. Living in Bikini Bottom! A sponge! The Crusty Crab! You do the math!
Tweet
OMG…I need to make sure my bladder is empty next time I read your blog!!!
1. P.S., if you think about it, Spongebob is full of sexual/genital innuendo. Living in Bikini Bottom! A sponge! The Crusty Crab! You do the math!
Now how can I, in good conscience, let my kids watch this porn anymore?!?!
2. I’m pretty sure once they read some of the content on this site, they probably burned my application, then sprayed the ashes with Holy Water.
I think the same thing happened when I applied for that job at The Catholic League…
But on a serious note, YES, good writing is necessary, and should be compensated in much more than just comp tickets, swag, the promise of a byline, or Metrocards…I just sayin…
Yea, SpongeBob Squarepants is definitely full of sexual innuendos! I swear that’s what me and my friends watched all during college lol! I definitely need the writers to get off strike (of course after fair negotiations) so I don’t have to continue watching re-runs of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien.
Okay, Leon, I know you’re big time and all now, but you’ve been tagged. Details are on my blog! Whether or not you choose to participate is on you!
i love watching spongebob but i really do think that they are homosexuals. i think sandy is a lesbian too. her and that whale bitch be gettin it poppin lol the only straight one on that show is mr crabs. he loves the money and we all know that once you got money you got bitches, mr crabs theme song should be…..i get money! could you imagine? lmao and i love little shop of horrors and annie. but my all time favorite is grease hands down.
The fuck am I going to do without 30 Rock! This is crazy I tell you, CRAZY
But if you really think about it, you could do a lot of networking in those picket lines… I think you should just take the train to NY, get in line, grab a sign and make some new friends. I’d be out there marching right behind Tina Faye…
And re the reality TV shows, all the contestants are aspiring actors, singers, models and so forth. So of course they’re going to put 10’s on whatever dramas happening, to get noticed; even if it is as the villain. That’s part of the reason why I don’t watch those dating shows. But I do catch the recaps on the Soup; that’s my show. My boyfriend gets about at least one email a month regarding these shows. I kindly reach over that keyboard and hit the delete button for him…
Good post homie. Speaking of I Love New York. Am I the only one on here that is fuckin’ pissed that Midget Mack was eliminated last night??
*blank stare*
Nah, Big Homie- I’m with you. Midget Mack was ROBBED!
i think it is a damn shame however that midget mac was kept on the show for that long for the sheer amusement of his disability. i think that is very distasteful and i do not think that since his fiance died four months prior to the show starting he should have been there. he should have been at home with his kids and dealing with the loss of his other half and the mother of his children but whatever thats just my opinion. i love the show nevertheless
Most people do not realize the value of good writing. When I was in college, people always praised the people who majored in the natural sciences and architecture. I think that praise was justified. However, when I told people that I majored in journalism/public relations, they asked me why I chose an easy major. People don’t understand that writing a good screenplay, script, or newspaper article is truly a gift. Anyone can write something, but most people can’t write anything that will captivate an audience on a consistent basis.
@ TQB, please don’t piss yourself reading my blog. I’m glad you agree with me on both the writer thing, and the Spongebob point, too.
@ Caroline, I’m not big time. Just busy half the time, and A.D.D.-stricken the other half! I’ll stop by and see what that tag is about.
@ Mrs Sarkastic, I think Plankton is a struggling pimp. That’s why he keeps trying to steal the recipie to Krabby Patties!
@ Virgile Kent, I agree. 30 Rock is that shit. I hope they can find a way to settle this thing.
@ Marleaux, I should take a trip up there and blog from the front lines! That would be the shit! I don’t blame you for keeping your man off those shows, either!
@ Big Homie, I didn’t know he was gone. My sister got me watching it last weekend when that one dude almost got his ass whipped TWICE on national television. Never before have I seen a grown man display such spineless cowardice! If this were Old-School Japan, they’d have made that dude stab himself in the stomach with a samuri sword!
@ TQB, I can’t even lie, the few times I caught part of that train wreck of a show, I actually liked Midget Mack!
@ Mrs Sarkastic, the exploitation of Little People has been going on for as long as show business has. On one hand, I feel bad for them since they already have a bunch of challenges in life. On the other, it’s giving some little people legitimate jobs that probably pay more than what most folks make, and if they’re having fun, why not?
On a much wilder note, an internet shit-talk pioneer, Tucker Max, wrote a funny story about his experience having sex with a midget. Here’s the link: http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_midget_story.phtml
True @ Jabari Talib. People are quick to discredit writing and visual art. When I was a graphic design major, I used to always hear people dismissively say “So what, you go to class and draw all day?” like I chose a Kindergarden major or something.
Hey Hustleman,
I think your talents could be used with the “Adult Swim” Folks here in the ATL. If Robot Chicken can make it, You have a great future.
Robot Chicken is actually pretty funny sometimes. I didn’t realize they were located in Atlanta, but then again, Ted Turner owns the station, right?
I hate Spongebob, a little more than I hate Jennifer Lopez. I think whoever idiot thought up that cartoon should parish. >:|
please do not hate on spongebob….. j – hoe you may hate. she has no purpose in life. her ass got her further than her singing “talents” but please do not discriminate against the yellow sponge we’ve all come to love and appreciate. he is hilarious and i wish that i could live in bikini bottom at times. boy if i could get my hands on one of those crabby patties! ….and about the midget thing….i guess its all good if they’re having “fun” and making money but they sort of…..creep me out….no offense to the little people in the world. midget mac moves way too fast and those sudden movements make me nervous. he looks like he can do some serious damage if you take your eyes off of him for one second.