Last week, I was walking back from lunch with a friend of mine in Silver Spring, when a guy walked up to me and said “That is a really nice tie that you’re wearing.” It sounded like an innocent enough comment, especially since I had a lady with me, and I was wearing a tie that complemented my suit rather well. Initially, I did not think anything of it.
I said “Thank you” and started to walk away, but the man started talking about some suit he has at home with a color that would look good with a tie like that. The more he talked, the more I realized that he wasn’t just complementing me, he was testing me to see if I was gay. I know, I know…sounds paranoid, right? The reason I could tell, was because as he kept throwing more and more outfit praise my way, he kept inching closer and closer towards me, until he was easily in violation of my personal space.
At one point, he got started talking that mess about my tie color again, and he reached out and tried to touch the tie. I saw that fool’s finger approachng, then looked him dead in the eye with a look that said “B*TCH ARE YOU TRYING TO TOUCH MY CHEST?!” He knew he was about to cross the line and risk getting embarassed in a public place, so he stopped just short of my tie and pulled his hand back in the most dainty fashion, like he had just touched a hot stove or something.
After my friend and walked away, I felt good that I didn’t say anything mean to the guy. It was obvious to everyone that this fool was trying me, despite the fact that I was out with a lady already. That was pretty damned bold and disrespectful if you think about it. As soon as that guy opened his mouth, I had a feeling that he was gay, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and not overreact. Had he at least been a little bit slick, he might have fooled me into thinking it was just a compliment. The line was drawn when that he got in my space and tried to make physical contact. I mean, what normal man is cool with letting another man touch his chest?
To all of my gay readers, please don’t ever do that sh*t to a stranger. The older, less-patient Leon would have cursed him out in front of the entire shopping center for trying to touch me, and possibly knocked him out if the situation escalated. Luckily, I’m older, wiser, and allergic to jail time, so I try to avoid those type of situations. That said, it’s a lot of angry people walking around who aren’t as patient as I am…So consider this a Public Service Annoucement. Never violate a man’s personal space!
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LMAO!
Gay or straight, some men are just too damn inappropriate. They try to invade personal space without getting to know a person.
I feel for you, man. It’s the “gay version” of what I deal with when it comes to men on the streets.
ROFLMYAO!! I’ve seen that happen so many times.
Yeah, ole boy needs to give dudes in the Fox Hills mall a few lessons. Usually the first few words out of their mouths have something to do with my T&A or money they supposedly have… *rolling eyes* And dudes will stand to the side and wait for one dude to walk away, so that they could step up and ask for the number.
But yeah, this is mild compared to some gay dudes I know. Especially the ones that think every man is gay… But keep that temper in check. Hitting a gay dude is considered a hate crime, at least here in Cali, and the sentence is almost worst than killing a Black man.
I feel you though. And I appreciate dudes who don’t gay bash. The others always seem a little questionable to me. And the bashing isn’t even warranted; just out of the blue, with no gay dudes around.
Well hell, Leon, have you seen the yumminess that is your myspace photo? Who couldn’t resist touching your tie! Yes, I want to touch your tie, OK!
But yes, I do agree one should never invade someone’s personal space.
***walks away with head down but cheesin’ all the live long day!****
that was nice?!?! oh the hilarity. allergic to jail time is a good look!
Hm. Interesting.
Maybe he was gettin’ a vibe from you Leon. Settin’ off his gaydar and such. I’m just sayin’.
That said, gay or straight, you’re right: one should be cautious about the personal space of others.
Yea, gay dudes and white people never seem to have any real respect for personal space; so they’ll invade it like a motherfucker and then wonder why they get stole on or cussed out.
I will say though white people don’t really know, whereas I find that some gay people just like making folks antsy for shits and giggles. And gay folks are always trying to bring out the “dormant homosexual” in everyone–kinda like Dr. Kinsey who had the theory that everyone is gay it’s just like on a scale of 1-10 (most people are above 5, going towards homo)—OOO dropped that knowledge on you! LOL (you should check out Kinsey the movie though, good stuff).
So, Leon, in celebration of that man’s wonderful gayness I invite you to check out this video youtube, it’ll have you in stitches!!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SQyWSqgJGZM
I have this thing about personal space too, and the city I live in has a lot of gay people, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. Luckily, I’m kind of large and brolic looking, so I don’t really get approached like that. But one of my homeboys gets it really bad because he’s a short guy, and they be on him like flies to shit. I wrote a story on my blog a week or two ago about how someone tried to put their arm around him.
And let the record show that I don’t like for ANYONE to be all up in my personal space when they know better.
@ Bre, I knew you’d like this
@ Golden Silence, you’re right
@ Teefah, glad someone knows what I’m talking about
@ Marleaux, people who gay bash usually do tend to have sexuality issues or some kind of messed up insecurities. Especially when the comments come from out of the blue and are excessive
@ Wonderlove, thanks :)
@ Jameill, it was nice because I didn’t say anything mean. I let a look say it all!
@ DC Rush Hour, I just think it’s because I looked clean and well-dressed…I might have been too well-groomed for my own good!
@ Caroline, I’ll have to watch the clip later on.
@ Leon, that’s funny. I was watching Money Talks last night, and you just reminded me of the part near the beginning when the inmate was putting his arm around Chris Tucker in jail
I’m sorry about your unfortunate situation with the gay dude.
Moving on….
I won the photo challenge Negro, and “I wants my skrilla!”…but for real…where’s my shirt. I put about 20 minutes into the Photoshop Challenge and I heard from you since. I know you’re big time…but how you gone forget about The People…lol
Also, have you heard of this black guy who’s blowing up youtube. He has these story skits called “unforgivable” and they’re pretty hilarious once you get into it.
Here’s a clip
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0dJu1Jj7VTw
I haven’t forgotten Miss Vanity Pages! I’ve just been poor! The money comes back to me eventually, but I have to come outta pocket upfront. I’ll try to throw in a little something extra since you had to wait ;)
LMAO! Between gay dudes and white folks, I don’t know who is worse about your personal space.
I don’t know…most of the gay folks and white people I’ve met have given me my space…It’s just the occasional touchy-feely jackass that ruins things for everybody
maybe it’s the air in silver spring or gay cats is just BOLD in silver spring. my boyfriend and i were at the ss jazz fest waiting in the longest line for some ribs & fish. all the sudden this brother BEHIND us starts asking my boyfriend where he got his jeans and telling him how much he like them!
i’m going to have to show my boyfriend your column because evidently he was right to be concerned about the “not on the down low” brothers of silver spring.
But you are so pretty tho babes!
oh no… well…you cant blame him for trying..right???? just take it as a compliment that you were looking soooo good..he had to TRY….
and im proud of “newer more patient leon” getting it said with ONLY a look…
xoxo
Ive had gay men do that to my dates before. In one instance, I was hugged up on dude – obviously with him – and one decided to try to hit on him anyways! Sheesh, the nerve of some of these gays, lol.
L
Gay people dont try that in Miami.. I wonder why…
I did have one gay guy peel the clothes off my man with his eyeballs, I was a tad creeped out. LOL! It was worse for my man, he didn’t know what to do or say about it, but said he felt his animal instinct tell him to kick that gay dudes ass.